[exo] beauty queen
beauty queen // pg-13 (for self harm)
drowning isn’t that bad
when there is someone
waiting for you at the bottom
“Sehun. Sehun. Sehun.” Jongin chants, lips trembling as he rubs soothing circles on Sehun’s frail back, “Sehun, breathe. Please. For me.”
Sehun simply lays his head on the toilet bowl seat, mouth dribbling with vomit, his knees crumbling pathetically beneath him. Through his dazed state he feels Jongin’s torso pressed against him, the older man’s strong arms wrapped around his waist, the warm breath against his neck, the gentle voice repeating his name over and over.
Sehun’s mind is blank when he succumbs into the comfortable darkness.
Except he remembers that he hates his name.
-
Sehun wants to be beautiful.
As beautiful as his name.
He knows that Jongin finds his name beautiful.
He hates that.
He loves Jongin.
Jongin tells him he’s equally beautiful.
Jongin is beautiful, too.
-
Sometimes, Jongin would trace the fading scars on Sehun’s arms with a light smile on his face. Sehun doesn’t get reminded of the pain, but instead falls into the mesmerizing trance that Jongin’s soft piano-playing fingers bring upon.
Sehun knows that Jongin is a little too careful with him, as if he’s so frail he’d get blown away by the wind one day.
He tells Jongin just that.
Jongin just replies, well, he wouldn’t let that happen. He promises that Sehun will not get blown away by the wind.
-
Jongin is Sehun’s anchor.
He reminds Sehun that he is as beautiful as seashells, and as precious as lost treasure.
But why do seashells get washed onto the sand?
Because the sea thinks they are not beautiful.
Lost treasure wouldn’t be lost if they were precious.
Jongin keeps Sehun together, broken thoughts and all.
-
Jongin gets mad too, sometimes.
When Jongin gets mad, he never talks. With his mouth clamped shut, he says nothing and absolutely nothing. The air goes still. Sehun starts panicking inside.
By instinct, his hand inches closer to Jongin’s slowly, shaky fingers interwining with one another.
He climbs onto Jongin’s firm lap, chapped lips pressing themselves against softer, pillowy ones. He nips on Jongin’s bottom lip, fingers holding onto Jongin’s as tightly as possible, he is afraid of floating away, away from Jongin.
He needs Jongin, he needs Jongin to need him.
Sehun doesn’t stop even when Jongin’s breaths even out and he goes sound asleep.
a/n: ok, i don't know what i'm attempting with this. ugh. wanted to acquire one of those simple writing styles which seem melancholic but apparently i'm writing crap. oh well. uh.
drowning isn’t that bad
when there is someone
waiting for you at the bottom
“Sehun. Sehun. Sehun.” Jongin chants, lips trembling as he rubs soothing circles on Sehun’s frail back, “Sehun, breathe. Please. For me.”
Sehun simply lays his head on the toilet bowl seat, mouth dribbling with vomit, his knees crumbling pathetically beneath him. Through his dazed state he feels Jongin’s torso pressed against him, the older man’s strong arms wrapped around his waist, the warm breath against his neck, the gentle voice repeating his name over and over.
Sehun’s mind is blank when he succumbs into the comfortable darkness.
Except he remembers that he hates his name.
-
Sehun wants to be beautiful.
As beautiful as his name.
He knows that Jongin finds his name beautiful.
He hates that.
He loves Jongin.
Jongin tells him he’s equally beautiful.
Jongin is beautiful, too.
-
Sometimes, Jongin would trace the fading scars on Sehun’s arms with a light smile on his face. Sehun doesn’t get reminded of the pain, but instead falls into the mesmerizing trance that Jongin’s soft piano-playing fingers bring upon.
Sehun knows that Jongin is a little too careful with him, as if he’s so frail he’d get blown away by the wind one day.
He tells Jongin just that.
Jongin just replies, well, he wouldn’t let that happen. He promises that Sehun will not get blown away by the wind.
-
Jongin is Sehun’s anchor.
He reminds Sehun that he is as beautiful as seashells, and as precious as lost treasure.
But why do seashells get washed onto the sand?
Because the sea thinks they are not beautiful.
Lost treasure wouldn’t be lost if they were precious.
Jongin keeps Sehun together, broken thoughts and all.
-
Jongin gets mad too, sometimes.
When Jongin gets mad, he never talks. With his mouth clamped shut, he says nothing and absolutely nothing. The air goes still. Sehun starts panicking inside.
By instinct, his hand inches closer to Jongin’s slowly, shaky fingers interwining with one another.
He climbs onto Jongin’s firm lap, chapped lips pressing themselves against softer, pillowy ones. He nips on Jongin’s bottom lip, fingers holding onto Jongin’s as tightly as possible, he is afraid of floating away, away from Jongin.
He needs Jongin, he needs Jongin to need him.
Sehun doesn’t stop even when Jongin’s breaths even out and he goes sound asleep.
a/n: ok, i don't know what i'm attempting with this. ugh. wanted to acquire one of those simple writing styles which seem melancholic but apparently i'm writing crap. oh well. uh.