(no subject)
Today was so much fun. I'm taking an hour for breathing time before I go out tonight.
I had a dream last night that I got engaged and it was very odd, I guess in the dream we could only have babies if we were married and we wanted to have kids together. Which is odd.
The two biggest criteria I have for people I'm gonna be with for a long time, or people I'd marry ya know, is that I A) feel safe in a car with them and B) would raise children with them.
Firstly, the car thing. I am terrified of cars. Being in one sucks. A lot. I can kind of ignore it and occasionally I'll find myself wanting to go out joyriding. But mostly, I hate being in them. And I never feel safe. I feel safe when my dad is driving. And maybe one or two others I've met. But besides that, I'm always tense and gripping onto something in case we crash. If I'm in a car with someone, and I feel safe even though we're moving, that speaks highly of my opinion of them.
Second, the kids thing. I am a huge believer in the "parents fuck up their kids" theory. I mean, I tend to blame the parents. So when I have kids, I'm actually pretty sure I wanna be single. I'm a control freak when it comes to that. For me to trust someone so much I'd let them raise or help me raise my children, would be so incredible, I'd never let them go. At least until the youngest one is 4, then maybe I'll settle down with someone. I'd rather have kids and raise them the way I want to than settle and be with someone who may fuck them up.
Anyway...so my dream freaked me out. I don't wanna raise kids with someone. I mean, it's possible I find someone I trust that much. Probably not before I'm 23, which is when I wanna have the first one. I seriously freak out about the idea of someone else raising my kids and fucking them up horribly. I would kill myself.
Now for some fun lyrics.
She tries to erase
She tries to replace
How it feels, but I...
Know she can never go home
She tries to erase
She tries to replace
How it feels, but I...
Know she can never go home
Tried to forget about
Living a good life
Free of positions
Make her feel vulnerable
She's loved and she's lost
She failed in the call
She seeks to find the answer, now
Woke up today around 6 in the morning
Violently shaking, remembering what she once saw
She bared it alone
So she carried on
She seeks to find the answers for...
The reasons her life did not turn out...
More like a movie
She's trying to forget it all
She tries to erase
She tries to replace
How it feels, but I...
Know she can never go home
She tries to erase
She tries to replace
How it feels, but I...
Know she can never go home
The reasons her life did not turn out...
More like a movie
She's trying to forget it all
I don't believe in anything
But I believe in you
I never trusted anyone
But somehow I trust you
And if I fall away, someday you might find me
If I fall away, someday...
I had a dream last night that I got engaged and it was very odd, I guess in the dream we could only have babies if we were married and we wanted to have kids together. Which is odd.
The two biggest criteria I have for people I'm gonna be with for a long time, or people I'd marry ya know, is that I A) feel safe in a car with them and B) would raise children with them.
Firstly, the car thing. I am terrified of cars. Being in one sucks. A lot. I can kind of ignore it and occasionally I'll find myself wanting to go out joyriding. But mostly, I hate being in them. And I never feel safe. I feel safe when my dad is driving. And maybe one or two others I've met. But besides that, I'm always tense and gripping onto something in case we crash. If I'm in a car with someone, and I feel safe even though we're moving, that speaks highly of my opinion of them.
Second, the kids thing. I am a huge believer in the "parents fuck up their kids" theory. I mean, I tend to blame the parents. So when I have kids, I'm actually pretty sure I wanna be single. I'm a control freak when it comes to that. For me to trust someone so much I'd let them raise or help me raise my children, would be so incredible, I'd never let them go. At least until the youngest one is 4, then maybe I'll settle down with someone. I'd rather have kids and raise them the way I want to than settle and be with someone who may fuck them up.
Anyway...so my dream freaked me out. I don't wanna raise kids with someone. I mean, it's possible I find someone I trust that much. Probably not before I'm 23, which is when I wanna have the first one. I seriously freak out about the idea of someone else raising my kids and fucking them up horribly. I would kill myself.
Now for some fun lyrics.
She tries to erase
She tries to replace
How it feels, but I...
Know she can never go home
She tries to erase
She tries to replace
How it feels, but I...
Know she can never go home
Tried to forget about
Living a good life
Free of positions
Make her feel vulnerable
She's loved and she's lost
She failed in the call
She seeks to find the answer, now
Woke up today around 6 in the morning
Violently shaking, remembering what she once saw
She bared it alone
So she carried on
She seeks to find the answers for...
The reasons her life did not turn out...
More like a movie
She's trying to forget it all
She tries to erase
She tries to replace
How it feels, but I...
Know she can never go home
She tries to erase
She tries to replace
How it feels, but I...
Know she can never go home
The reasons her life did not turn out...
More like a movie
She's trying to forget it all
I don't believe in anything
But I believe in you
I never trusted anyone
But somehow I trust you
And if I fall away, someday you might find me
If I fall away, someday...