[ Masquerade ]
Who: Everyone! Even the grouches :D
When: Friday Evening
Where: Park
Format: Paragraph/action/whatever you like
What: Masquerade Par-tay!
Warnings: None...yet.
The park was lit up by lights and of course the stars that night. Tents were pitched up where refreshments and food were served. Tables and chairs were scattered throughout the space and ( Read more... )
When: Friday Evening
Where: Park
Format: Paragraph/action/whatever you like
What: Masquerade Par-tay!
Warnings: None...yet.
The park was lit up by lights and of course the stars that night. Tents were pitched up where refreshments and food were served. Tables and chairs were scattered throughout the space and ( Read more... )
At last, momentarily on his own, he sees her also standing alone. He doesn't want to seem like he'll only meet with her furtively, clandestinely, but it's better than not talking at all.
He'll come over and stop a few feet away to wait for her acceptance.
(And yeah, he's still wearing his muggle costume: black button-up shirt, grey blazer, sneakers and blue jeans. The sunglasses, nearest equivalent to a mask, are folded in his pocket-with his wand.]
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But which one?
If he's perceptive - and who are we kidding - he is always perceptive - he'll catch a brow quirk under her the black filigree of her mask before she turns away for just the slightest space, a flash of bone and snarl and wolfgaze before she turns back.
What was catching her eye? Scar and Mei.
But she'll remain still and not stiff as he approaches, and at the close of whatever song's finishing, she'll offer him a little smile.]
Where's your wife?
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She's not, you know. Not in her timeline. But Tonks is getting some refreshments.
[expression grows more apprehensive. When being perceptive is not enough, being legilimens would be better; he's trying to drink in her state of… everything]
I'd like to introduce you both… if you'd like.
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So many timelines. I'm beginning to think it's a purposeful part of the game. [Still not sure if it's for anyone's benefit or not. Still not sure if she cares completely, but she definitely cares when it is affecting her.]
Your mask is a pair of glasses. [But they're dark. Are you sure you can see out of them very well? Is everything dim through their lenses? Well that's just...
...she'll move a little closer, raising a finger as if she means to tap on their surface. With a blade. She's being playful, but there's another thing just beneath. If she were quick enough he'd lose an eye.
Was an eye for a heart a fair exchange?
Was it...
...equivalent?]
Should I? Like? [And she'll have retracted her blade if he hasn't recoiled. Fixed him with a curious, contemplative gaze.] Do you think that would be wise?
[But she's not saying no. Or that she thinks it's a bad idea at all.]
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Or because he's never had to be, been able to be, or been less than open with Io.
Because it's true, and he means it.]
I think what we had together was important, and good, and mattered. I think that it happened and will never not have happened, whether it's still happening or not. I think that we were good to each other, and I hope that's not negated because I ended it badly. I think she has a right to know. I think you have a right to be known. I think I care about you both tremendously, and all three of us are connected already and it's not fair to you or her if I'm the one trying to call the shots on how that works.
[By the way, no, he didn't recoil.]
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Or maybe too much the same way.]
You ended it badly. [That's right. It washes over her again and she winces, tries to shake it off - to shrug it off - only it's not that easy because he's right. It happened. It will never have not happened.]
You ended it badly. Wasn't it important enough, or ...didn't it matter enough to---
---nevermind. It doesn't matter.
[Just. Staring at the lights.]
We talked about this at the beginning, remember? I'm not Dora and you're not Scar. I remember.
[I remember a lot of things and I don't want to remember any of them right now. Just more things to clutter up my head. More useless things and things that hurt (ugh, hurt. someone else should be hurting) and--]
Tell her what you like. I won't stop you. That particular feat doesn't seem to be in my repertoire.
[Dammit. Maybe she doesn't want to be connected. Why'd you have to go and say that. :l]
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What can I do? Io, what can I do to…
[stops. The inevitable conclusion has presented itself and opens a gravity well in his stomach. Too bad; how he feels is less important; it's the right of the one who is left, not the one who leaves, to… well, be selfish. In finding any way for the feelings to get better.
So he does not say:
We did have that conversation, yes. So you know that the way I loved you is not like the way I loved my wife. I never stopped loving her. Which meant I loved both of you, at the same time, the whole time, and I still do, in different ways. I love you as much now as I did then. Because it was always different from how I love Dora.He has no right to say it, because it would be more for his own benefit than for hers ( ... )
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There is nothing you can do.
[...she isn't sure if she wants to say this, but then she does. Indecision can fuck itself right now.]
Except perhaps experience the situation from a different perspective. If you had only just discovered your heart and it were ground to dust? Mybe that would be...
I'm not sure I want that either.
[...]
I'm not Dora. You're not Scar. But you're here with Dora, aren't you? And I'm here with Scar.
[...]
...did you know he only asked me out of obligation? I'm sure he considers it a repayment of whatever debts he thinks he owes me. What does that make me that I'll take what I can get?
Human? Pathetic? Grasping? Are they mutually exclusive or do they cross all boundaries of---
---I feel such terrible things when I see you. When I hear you speak it's---
[Stops cold. Redirects.]
Tunny. Is he well?
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Ducks his head to focus before he can answer,]
Yes, he's well. Though he misses you.
He might be better off with you. I haven't had much time to spend with him - he stays at the dojo so my students can keep him company. Of course I'll keep him as long as you… I am grateful for his company when I can… But he's still yours.
[No metaphor intended. If only it didn't hang in the air.
He half-turns away. Suddenly turns back.]
…Does it… no. I'm sorry.
[Shakes head, turns away again.
Turns back again.
I can't. Yes, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't not say it.]
It makes no difference if all that matters is what I did and not why. Which… I think is the ultimate, objective truth of it. Reality is actions not intentions. But the why matters to me. Very much. I didn't intend to make you care about me. I didn't think it was likely. Not because of who you are, but because I don't assume, for myself… historically, I am not accustomed to being ( ... )
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Not fair. Not kind. Not her. Why should she care why? Right the first time: he hurt her because he had. And it had been Tonks's arrival. Even if what it did was make him realise he had no business being with anyone. First must face himself and all else, alone. So you see, Io, don't hate me for leaving; hate me for being there in the first place, and for staying at all. He'd used her.
But hadn't they used each other…?
And no, he couldn't think that. It hadn't been that. Whatever it was he couldn't regret it. Didn't matter, it didn't matter. It happened. How dare he assume what Io might care about, or make his guilt her problem as well.
Lily. James. Help me.
He ducked his head and shook it and said,]
That wasn't… I'm sorry. None of htat matters. I'm sorry.
I'll…
[stop trying to anticipate. Shut up and stand still. It's her move. Whenever she decides to make it.]
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