Flat Box Furniture From Big Box Stores

[scott_lynch]

A little free verse ditty composed the last time I brought home an endtable requiring "minimal assembly." Dusted off for Cherie Priest, and for everyone who brings their furniture home in flat, heavy boxes.
*****

TO THE MAN WHO DESIGNED THE TABLE I JUST ASSEMBLEDOh, it's death for you, my boy

Comments

[thiefofcamorr]

From someone who's 'minimally assembled' a few beds and a few tables, as well as my computer chairs though they didn't exactly pack flat, I thank you.

[noveldevice]

This is AMAZING. The last time I had to assemble something that arrived in flatpack was two years ago, thank god. When I moved this last time, I had the movers do any necessary disassembly (and reassembly) because SO MUCH NO.

[la_marquise_de_]

Hilarious: thank you.
Also, have you come across UK comedy singer-songwriter Mitch Benn? Here is his take on the same issue:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mO7W2Tytfvk

Kari

[mrpyro]

Also, I Fear IKEA by the Lancashire Hotpots

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNcaaehKaC8

[aulus_poliutos]

IKEA isn't half bad. I usually manage to assemble their stuff well enough. No, it was the hightly prized special set of shelves, drawers and lockers from some other company I could NOT set up in a way the whole precarious ensemble didn't wobble like a bobblehead figure. In the end my brother had to put me out of my misery and do the work - so much for emancipation. ;)

[etcet]

I staged a dramatic reading of this to cassandrasimplx via skype this morning.

Before tea.

Yes, this poem took precedence over tea.

It was worth it.

[syrensix]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.
I love this.