(no subject)
I swear, I posted this almost two weeks ago. I mean, I really DID? But apparently I didn't hit the right button or something. Not surprising, I suppose, since I spent four months losing brain cells right and left. Apparently. From stress-related problems, I assume. :D
It didn't occur to me that I HADN'T actually posted it, I just figured the lack of responses was because y'all were tired of my "sturm and drang" and so forth.
ANYWAY, I got my dad home!!!!!!!! It'll be two weeks tomorrow. The surgery went VERY well, and he is doing so SO great! It turns out that the fact that we couldn't schedule his surgery until three weeks after the Doc decided it needed to be done was a GOOD thing, since if it hadn't been for THAT, I'd have taken him home three weeks before and....that extra three weeks allowed him to regain even more strength. To the point where I don't need to move in with him...yet, anyway. He is doing SO WELL! And he values his independence. (Our pastor's wife keeps asking him when he is going to let me move in with him, and he keeps saying I'd "cramp his style." Heh.) Of course I'd override that if I thought he needed me to move in, but he has agreed to stay on the main floor of his house....no basement, no second floor trips. I'm doing his laundry and bringing whatever he needs up from the freezer. I brought his exercise bike up from the basement and put it in the living room. He has NO NEED to go anywhere but the main floor. And he has agreed with that. I'd move in in a second if I thought he was going to try those basement stairs.
And (also of course,) I am there all the time anyway. I go over every night after work, and am there for hours each weekend day (which includes Friday...I work four ten-hour days M-Thursday.) I can do all that he needs me to do during those visits.
Also, I only live three minutes away, so I'm readily available if he needs me. AND he has Lifeline http://www.lifelinesys.com/ just in case.
SO....things have resolved, finally....and much better than I thought they would back in January.
Still....some of the people we/I got close to aren't doing so well. I took dad to visit today, and Elaine passed on Monday. Marjorie's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she had to be moved to the locked Alzheimer's wing. This is an excellent care facility, and the wing is locked for the resident's safety. Marjorie and Elaine had become so close...when no one else cares, people bond with the people who are IN the home with them. A good thing, for the most part. But Elaine's passing apparently pushed Marjorie over the edge. We didn't know Elaine had passed, it wasn't in the paper. Elaine was one of the ones who had no visitors...I assume she was there on Medicaid and her family must not have cared enough to put an obituary in the paper. Or possibly I am being unfair and she HAD no family. I don't know. It is so easy to be judgmental when you see the pain and loneliness in these people's eyes.
So sad. But Marjorie knew me, and she hugged me back and when I told her I loved her she said she loved me right back.
George and Bill have both been in hospital, and Bill is now in the Hospice program. George slept all through the two hours dad and I were there today, so I wasn't able to talk with him. I asked our favorite caregiver, Dawn, to make sure to tell George that we had been there to see him...and that I'd be back soon. I'll try again tomorrow.
I love these dear men, and would appreciate your prayers and/or good healing thoughts for them. And for Marjorie.
There is a lady who I didn't even know KNEW me during our time there. She is in a wheelchair, and carries a baby doll. I would always smile and say hello and hug her and tell her her baby is beautiful...but she never really responded and I didn't think she was aware. She never even smiled at me, so I thought she was just not aware.
But today when I came in she smiled so BIG and reached her hand out to me. She doesn't talk, but she clearly knew who I was and was happy to see me. I hugged her BIG time and...she hugged me BACK! Then she handed me her "baby" to hold, which of course I did. I have never seen her let ANYONE hold her baby before. Then I told her she was a very good mommy and gave her baby back to her. Apparently she was more aware of my attempts to reach her than I realized. She was just so pleased to see me....it broke my heart. She is one of the dear hearts who never EVER has visitors. It takes so little to make these people feel loved, and so few people take the time. Understandable, I know...people have lives and they need to live them. Still....it breaks my heart.
I have been so busy with dad that I hadn't been back until today. But now I am going to go every few days. I was thinking this anyway, but when we were leaving dad said "Cheri, you need to go visit here more often. I know you want to make sure I am okay, but you can do that pretty quickly each evening and then take some of the time you are spending with me and visit at the home. I'm so lucky, I have you and I have my health. I can't walk without a walker, but I know I'm loved and with my walker I can get around my home. You are needed more here."
My father is just the best person in the world.
Another thing happened today. The lady who runs this care facility stopped me and told me that if I would ever consider it, they have a position open for me to join their staff. I asked what position and she said it didn't matter what they had open...if I ever want to work there? If they don't HAVE a position open? They'll create one for me. That was pretty awesome. I mean, I love my job and I don't think I am emotionally capable of working there anyway...I think it would hurt too much. But the fact that they WANT me is...well, really nice.
In conclusion, please let me just say that if you ever have a loved one in a care facility (which means Nursing Home, in case you haven't caught up on the PC terms for this).....just know how much a brief visit means to your loved one. You don't have to stay long, you don't have to do much of anything except just stop in, hug them and tell them you love them. Please. It means so very much to THEM, and it takes so little time.
It didn't occur to me that I HADN'T actually posted it, I just figured the lack of responses was because y'all were tired of my "sturm and drang" and so forth.
ANYWAY, I got my dad home!!!!!!!! It'll be two weeks tomorrow. The surgery went VERY well, and he is doing so SO great! It turns out that the fact that we couldn't schedule his surgery until three weeks after the Doc decided it needed to be done was a GOOD thing, since if it hadn't been for THAT, I'd have taken him home three weeks before and....that extra three weeks allowed him to regain even more strength. To the point where I don't need to move in with him...yet, anyway. He is doing SO WELL! And he values his independence. (Our pastor's wife keeps asking him when he is going to let me move in with him, and he keeps saying I'd "cramp his style." Heh.) Of course I'd override that if I thought he needed me to move in, but he has agreed to stay on the main floor of his house....no basement, no second floor trips. I'm doing his laundry and bringing whatever he needs up from the freezer. I brought his exercise bike up from the basement and put it in the living room. He has NO NEED to go anywhere but the main floor. And he has agreed with that. I'd move in in a second if I thought he was going to try those basement stairs.
And (also of course,) I am there all the time anyway. I go over every night after work, and am there for hours each weekend day (which includes Friday...I work four ten-hour days M-Thursday.) I can do all that he needs me to do during those visits.
Also, I only live three minutes away, so I'm readily available if he needs me. AND he has Lifeline http://www.lifelinesys.com/ just in case.
SO....things have resolved, finally....and much better than I thought they would back in January.
Still....some of the people we/I got close to aren't doing so well. I took dad to visit today, and Elaine passed on Monday. Marjorie's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she had to be moved to the locked Alzheimer's wing. This is an excellent care facility, and the wing is locked for the resident's safety. Marjorie and Elaine had become so close...when no one else cares, people bond with the people who are IN the home with them. A good thing, for the most part. But Elaine's passing apparently pushed Marjorie over the edge. We didn't know Elaine had passed, it wasn't in the paper. Elaine was one of the ones who had no visitors...I assume she was there on Medicaid and her family must not have cared enough to put an obituary in the paper. Or possibly I am being unfair and she HAD no family. I don't know. It is so easy to be judgmental when you see the pain and loneliness in these people's eyes.
So sad. But Marjorie knew me, and she hugged me back and when I told her I loved her she said she loved me right back.
George and Bill have both been in hospital, and Bill is now in the Hospice program. George slept all through the two hours dad and I were there today, so I wasn't able to talk with him. I asked our favorite caregiver, Dawn, to make sure to tell George that we had been there to see him...and that I'd be back soon. I'll try again tomorrow.
I love these dear men, and would appreciate your prayers and/or good healing thoughts for them. And for Marjorie.
There is a lady who I didn't even know KNEW me during our time there. She is in a wheelchair, and carries a baby doll. I would always smile and say hello and hug her and tell her her baby is beautiful...but she never really responded and I didn't think she was aware. She never even smiled at me, so I thought she was just not aware.
But today when I came in she smiled so BIG and reached her hand out to me. She doesn't talk, but she clearly knew who I was and was happy to see me. I hugged her BIG time and...she hugged me BACK! Then she handed me her "baby" to hold, which of course I did. I have never seen her let ANYONE hold her baby before. Then I told her she was a very good mommy and gave her baby back to her. Apparently she was more aware of my attempts to reach her than I realized. She was just so pleased to see me....it broke my heart. She is one of the dear hearts who never EVER has visitors. It takes so little to make these people feel loved, and so few people take the time. Understandable, I know...people have lives and they need to live them. Still....it breaks my heart.
I have been so busy with dad that I hadn't been back until today. But now I am going to go every few days. I was thinking this anyway, but when we were leaving dad said "Cheri, you need to go visit here more often. I know you want to make sure I am okay, but you can do that pretty quickly each evening and then take some of the time you are spending with me and visit at the home. I'm so lucky, I have you and I have my health. I can't walk without a walker, but I know I'm loved and with my walker I can get around my home. You are needed more here."
My father is just the best person in the world.
Another thing happened today. The lady who runs this care facility stopped me and told me that if I would ever consider it, they have a position open for me to join their staff. I asked what position and she said it didn't matter what they had open...if I ever want to work there? If they don't HAVE a position open? They'll create one for me. That was pretty awesome. I mean, I love my job and I don't think I am emotionally capable of working there anyway...I think it would hurt too much. But the fact that they WANT me is...well, really nice.
In conclusion, please let me just say that if you ever have a loved one in a care facility (which means Nursing Home, in case you haven't caught up on the PC terms for this).....just know how much a brief visit means to your loved one. You don't have to stay long, you don't have to do much of anything except just stop in, hug them and tell them you love them. Please. It means so very much to THEM, and it takes so little time.