Fic: Reflections [Willow genfic, FRT]
Title: Reflections
Rating: FRT
Pairings: no pairing
Summary: While staying with the Coven, Willow is visited by three special people.
Timeline: Between BtVS seasons 6 & 7
Disclaimer: These are not my characters. They belong to Joss, Twentieth Century Fox, UPN, WB & Mutant Enemy. This is purely for fun.
Note: This was written for cya_ficathon. My assignment was:
Characters/Pairings you want the story to focus in: Willow
Characters/Pairings you want in the story too: Doesn't matter.
Timeline: After the end of season six. I'm interested in seeing Willow's reflection on dark magic, and what it's done to her.
Things you don't want: Angsting over Tara.
Extras: No higher than R
**********
Willow knew they wanted to help her without removing her magic, but she wished they would just take it all away. Her last session with the coven had not gone well at all. Nothing happened the way it should have. She'd been sent to her room while Giles talked to them. That was hours ago. She began to wonder if they'd given up on her.
When she had finally relaxed and decided to just get some sleep, there was a knock on the door. It wasn't loud and sounded like it might have been someone bumping into the door as they walked by. Willow ignored it and kept her eyes closed. She was almost asleep when she heard the door open.
"Hey, Will. I knocked but you didn't answer." It was a voice she hadn't heard in years. "Giles said I could come in and talk to you."
Willow sat up in bed, wide awake. "You're not here. You can't be here." She watched as her visitor walked to the small window in her room and looked outside.
"This view is awesome. If I were you, I'd spend all day here."
Willow stood and walked toward the window. "Are you real?"
"Is anybody real?"
"Oz," she whispered. "I never thought I'd see you again."
He turned to her and said, "Look, Will. I don't have a lot of time."
Tears ran down her face as she backed away from him. She wanted to fall into his arms, but she knew that would be bad. "You should leave."
"But I just got here," he said. "And you need my help."
"No one can help me. Giles tried. The coven tried." She sat on the bed and stared at the floor. "I killed someone, Oz, and I tried to end the world. I can't come back from that."
"Yet you're here, and the world's not gone." Oz sat beside her on the bed. "The Willow I know could never destroy the world."
"I'm not the same Willow you knew." She wiped the tears from her eyes.
"You'll always be my Willow."
Willow didn't want to try to convince him. She just sat in silence and hoped he would leave.
"Did I become a different person when I became a werewolf?" he asked.
"That's different," she mumbled.
"How?" he asked. "How is it different?"
Willow stood and marched over to the window. "You didn't choose to become a wolf."
"I can't imagine you woke up one day and said, ‘I think I'll destroy the world today.' Did you choose to become evil?" he asked.
"No, but ..."
Oz stood and walked to the window. "There's always that little bit inside us that wants to do what's wrong. We just have to control it."
"You couldn't control the wolf."
"Now I do. Now that I know the secret, I keep him under my control. You don't let it control you, Will. You control it."
"I don't know how to control this," Willow protested.
Oz took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. "You will. I know you will." He kissed her head again. "I gotta go."
"Oz," Willow whispered. She had so many things she still wanted to say.
"I know. I love you too."
She closed her eyes to try to stop the tears. When she opened her eyes, Oz was gone.
**********
Willow didn't know how much time had passed since Oz had left. Really, she wasn't even certain he had been there at all. It had felt real enough when he'd kissed her. She reached up and touched her forehead where he'd kissed her twice. "Oz," she whispered. "Come back. I need you." She collapsed onto the floor as she cried. "I miss you."
"Willow? Are you alright?"
Giles' voice sent a chill through her. She knew he was genuinely concerned, but she worried about what news he was bringing from the coven. She stood and wiped her eyes. "I'm fine," she mumbled. "Just thinking about old friends."
"I heard you mention Oz," Giles said as he offered her his handkerchief.
"He ... uh ... I was just thinking about him," she said as she wiped her eyes and nose. She looked up at Giles. "Did the coven reach a decision?" she asked.
"Not yet," Giles said. "I came to see how you're doing. Being alone in these rooms can be a bit much to take sometimes." He held his hand out to her. "Take a walk with me."
"I can't leave the room. They put a spell on it." Willow looked at the writing covering the window and door frames.
"It's alright, Willow," Giles said as he took her hand in his. "If you're with me, you can leave." He tugged her towards the door. "I promise."
Hesitantly, she followed him. When nothing bad happened, she breathed a sigh of relief. She walked beside Giles for a while in silence. He still held her hand, and she found that both strange and comforting. After several minutes, she broke the silence. "What's going to happen to me?" she asked.
They had reached the door leading to the gardens. Giles stopped and opened the door for her but still held her hand. "I don't know. I suppose it all depends on you."
"I've already done everything they asked, and I've failed." She said as she stepped outside and stopped. "How can it depend on me?"
Giles led her to a bench and waited for her to sit with him. "They still have one test for you. It will determine what course of action they take."
"Giles, I can't handle any more tests. That last one ..." She tried to pull away from him, but he held on tight to her hand.
"I know this frightens you, but the coven can help," he said. "They will try all possible solutions before -"
Willow looked up into Giles' eyes. "Before killing me," she finished for him.
"I'm certain it won't come to that. They didn't kill me when I came to them for help."
Willow sagged a bit. "That was different. You killed that guy to save lives. I killed Warren out of revenge."
"That's true, but I chose to use dark magic. I used it for fun, and that caused the tragedy. You ...," he brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes with his free hand. "You experienced the tragedy first. I can only imagine that discovering Buffy had been shot as well only added more fuel to the fire. No one can blame you for wanting revenge. The dark magics made it all too easy for you."
"I still don't think it's the same. You had to kill to save your friends," Willow protested. "Would the coven have killed you for that?"
"Yes, if I hadn't passed all their tests."
"They'll kill me. I know it, Giles. They're just trying to decide how." Abruptly she stood. "Giles, I don't want to die."
"They won't -" Giles fell silent as Willow yanked her hand out of his and pulled away. She stumbled backwards and hit something soft. When she turned to see what it was, she realized she was back in her room. She had run up against her bed.
"Giles?" She turned around, but he wasn't there.
**********
Willow sat on the bed and waited. She knew the coven would be coming for her soon. They had one more test for her. She knew she would fail it; she'd failed all the others. She sighed and flopped back on the bed.
"Hey! Don't give up now. I can't live without you around."
Willow shot to her feet. "Xander!" She ran to him and fell into his open arms.
"Did you think I'd let you go without a fight? You're my Willow." He hugged her tight. "I saved your life and kept you from destroying the world. You can't just quit."
She pushed away from him. "You don't understand."
"Then explain it to me," he said as he sat on the bed. "Because the Willow I know wouldn't give up. She'd fight until the end."
"Xander, it's not that simple." She looked at him for a second but had to turn away.
"I think it is that simple,Will." He watched her as she stared at the floor. "Look. I know you like the magic. I also know it scares you right now. That's a good thing because it will keep you from doing bad things with it. You broke the yellow crayon again, and you're afraid of the punishment you'll get. But there's not going to be punishment. They just want to help and make it better."
Willow looked up at him. "This isn't the same as breaking a crayon, Xander. This is much worse."
"Yeah, but the emotions are the same." He paused a moment as he watched her. His eyes hadn't left her since he'd appeared in the room. "When you broke that crayon, you were terrified. You really thought something bad would happen to you because of it. Later you found out that if you'd just told someone, they would have given you a new one."
"They can't give me new magic, Xander. It doesn't work that way."
He softly giggled at that. "I know, but they can repair it. You just have to let them. Remember how I taped the crayon together for you once you let me help?" He stood and walked over to her. "Once you calmed down and let me help, it was okay again."
Willow stared at him for a long time. He had a point, but she still didn't know how she could fix everything. "I've been getting help. They've tried to fix it. Nothing works. I've failed all their tests. I can't control the magic."
"Not right now," Xander said. "You're still too emotional. You need to calm down before they can help you."
"That doesn't make any sense," she protested.
He smiled at her. "Remember when Oz left and you did that spell? The one that made Giles blind and made Buffy and Spike want to get married?" he asked.
Willow nodded. "I don't think I'll ever forget that."
"Giles said it went all bad because you were too emotional when you did the spell. Bad things happen when you mix strong emotions with magic." He pulled her into another hug. "I don't want to lose you, Will. I just saved you. Don't let me lose you now."
She pulled back and saw tears in his eyes. "Xander ... I ... You're right."
Xander wiped a tear from her eye that was about to fall. "Close your eyes and make a wish."
"That only works with eyelashes," she said, but she closed her eyes and wished anyway. She wished for strength and calm to get through the last test.
Slowly she opened her eyes, already feeling better about everything. Xander was gone. Somehow she knew he would be.
A few minutes later, there was a soft knock on the door. "Come in," she said.
Giles opened the door and stepped inside. "The coven wants to see you," he said, smiling. "You've passed their final test. They want to begin with your training."
"Thank you, Xander," she whispered.
"Hmm?" Giles said.
"Nothing," she said as she followed him, but she smiled at the thought that Xander rescued her again.
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The End
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