friends with issues communicating anger over nothing except what they have imagined

[scratchmybelly]

So I'm out in fibburs and M is there, tells me in her usual tone of voice that A is hurt because she thought the reason i didn't invite her to a session was that i didnt think she could keep her mouth shut around L (L and A having previously fallen out over silly stuff/lack of communication

Comments

[subonfire]

I'd say not.
A is not communicating with you, and forcing communication on her is not going to help, in my experience.

"L and A having previously fallen out over silly stuff/lack of communication)"
Yeah, seems like A is a bit prone to that, huh?

If A is so easily offended by your not wishing her happy birthday, there must be another reason as well. If your friendship were solid it would only be a matter of saying sorry. So perhaps she feels you disapprove of her? *shrugs* hard to say on such little information.

Your overture of friendship has been rejected, and trying and trying will only cement that.

Suggest that since you see her often, wait until you do, in person, where it's harder to ignore you. SImply smile and say hello A, and maybe then she'll feel like talking.

If she doesn't, reestablish the casual friendliness you need to keep things okay in a gathering. Hi, how are you. How was your week. Nice haircut.

Not sure if that helps.

[subonfire]

Or, I guess you could ask J what the matter is. Not asking him to fix it for you but just getting some information.

[scratchmybelly]

good call on both
it worked out in the end :)

[saoili]

People are crap. *hugs* Be nice, be honest and let her be. It's sucky being friendly at people when they won't be friendly back, but if you've done nothing wrong you've done nothing wrong, ya know?