Codyversary
So I'm pretty much twenty-five! And wankily enough, I've been doing some reflecting about where this last year has led me. It's been surprisingly eventful!
Here are some of the suckier parts!
- I got broken up with by Stupid Matt who it turns out cheated on me beforehand so maybe he'll die. The end!
- I met this guy! His name was Gregory and he was tall and smart, he liked video games, he was a fair badminton player, and he invited me out to a Storm Large concert on our first date. One time we kissed during a thunderstorm. He was the one who told me Stupid Matt cheated on me with Slutty Bryan, but he was very considerate about it. But then he underwent a startling metamorphosis into a total whiny douchebag, and while he couldn't bother to return my calls amidst his moving and working and CONSTANT WHINING, he did somehow manage to find the time to get back together with his idiot ex-boyfriend, who, hilariously enough, broke up with him again! If I could've boxed up a round of applause and mailed it to him, I would've.
- I met this guy! His name was also Matt, but whatever. He was tall, with shaggy brown hair and big brown eyes, and he was starting his first year as a teacher, which was totally, totally hot. He enjoyed Harry Potter, he went with me to a roller-derby game, and one time when we were getting sushi both of our fortune cookies said, "The evening promises romantic interests." I even dared keep up hope in face of the fact that he was a total 24-year-old virgin(!!!), since some of us might remember how well that worked out last time. But then he underwent a gradual metamorphosis into a big scaredy wiener who couldn't balance a real-life grown-up relationship alongside both his understandably-demanding job and his even-more-demanding unspeakably horrible, obnoxious, emotionally-insecure psycho hosebeast of a roommate (and she was fat). He sent me a let's-just-be-friends email and stopped returning my calls! Awesome.
- I met this guy! His name was Blake and he was a startlingly intelligent, deep-voiced, beautiful blond vegetarian who invited me out to see King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, which basically made for the best first date ever, since it's kind of the best documentary in the world and all of you should see it twice. We had a nice long talk over desserts after the movie, and he gave me a pear(!) when I saw him to his car. The very next day, he underwent a rapid metamorphosis into a guy who'd been accepted to a four-month natural building/organic farming internship in Thailand. We still talk, though! And it's nice! So maybe we'll keep hanging out in April? I don't know?
- Oh yeah, and here's some closure for ya: Operation: Philip went absolutely nowhere and Hot Courier never showed his hotbod handsomeface at my workplace again, embarrassingly enough.
- ...I was feeling a little emotionally burned out for a while there.
But hey wait, there were highlights of my year, also!
- Maria, Tim and I went to see THE BODIES EXHIBIT in Seattle! It was maybe the best road trip ever, complete with an obligatory road trip participant in-joke about "crunchy beats." Maria and I basically ran around the museum and went completely crazy as we looked at all the preserved bodies, organs and nerves and just traded amazing body facts back and forth. Also we went to a park, wherein we were clearly, unambiguously warned not to feed the rabbis. It was the best fun!
- Ian and I went to the Portland comic convention! I got some good deals, but I was a little worried because I knew Stupid Matt would almost definitely be there, but Ian was the best best pal and he was totally my muscle; while I was sifting through the back issues, he would stand at my side with his arms crossed in front of his manly chest looking menacingly out into the crowd just in case anybody wanted to start something. And he did give Stupid Matt several mean glares and no-nonsense shakes of the head! I appreciated knowing he would throw down with that idiot on my behalf if it came to it, and we both had a lovely time. (Oh, also he offered to tell off Stupid Matt's horrible gay friends when we happened into them at the comic store, including Slutty Bryan, but I declined because I basically don't care about any of them even a little bit. Still! What a nice gesture!)
- HORRORFEST 2K7!!!! I only saw four of the eight movies, but they were all fantastically amazing. "Unearthed" featured Charlie Murphy as The Black Guy who made the obligatory Tupac reference and died the obligatory grisly death, as well as some dumb monster and a lot of splashing around in uranium mud. "The Many Deaths Of Ian Stone" actually had a surprisingly engaging storyline, even though the end special effects resulted in him looking like some kind of shadowy demon Troll doll. "Mulberry Street" was amusing for both a rat-virus that actually physiologically altered New Yorkers into horrible rat-things, as well as a retired boxer named Clutch and an effeminate black drag queen named Coco living together; Kate and I argued over which aspect was the less plausible. And as for "Tooth and Nail"... well, mere words would only cheapen it, I assure you.
- Ian, Angela and I drove to Montana and stayed with Angela's awesome family and I patted so many dogs and I ate famous potatoes and and went hot-tub-male-bonding with my housemate's girlfriend's father and played so many board games and yelled my throat out at a U of M Grizzlies game and saw a million bolts of lightning.
- In terms of matieral goods, 24 also brought us Darren Hayes' double album "This Delicate Thing We've Made," the discovery of Scott Pilgrim volumes 1 through 4, and, thanks to Ian, the acquisition of my very own stuffed The Cheat mere days before they all went extinct. All these things have quite directly contributed to improving the overall quality of my life.
- MANTA RAY IN THE BATHTUB!!! Definitely a tale for a future entry.
- I switched regular comic stores! For those few among you reading this who are not nerds, let me assure you this is a BIG DEAL. I've never before closed down my subscription box at a comic store without moving away directly thereafter. But I was getting so tired of the folks at Excalibur being all snooty and creepy and not acting like they're in the business of selling fun, as Ian put it. Also sometimes they would just not get in comics when they were supposed to be released! "Nope, didn't get it in!" Just like that! And, more often than not, it would be the one I was most looking forward to that week. It was finally when they didn't receive Angel: After the Fall #2 on time when I was finally pushed to the edge and realized, Why has my weekly comic run, the highlight of my week, become such an ordeal? Even the hot boy with the sideburns and sparkly blue eyes and Star Trek shirts (who I theorize they hired on just to keep me on board for that much longer) could no longer hold me there (because a.) he smoked and b.) he was by all indications heterosexual so he would never love me - HAHA, JOKE'S ON THEM!). So I closed down my box as quickly and painlessly as possible, then brought my business over to Cosmic Monkey, who have never let me down; it was very much like divorcing my horrible wife and moving right in full-time with my sexy mistress. AND I HAVE NOT REGRETTED IT. When I brought in my neatly-typed, alphabetized and, shall we say, voluminous monthly subscription list, the clerk actually muttered "Wackadoo!" under his breath, which immediately made me feel more appreciated than I ever did in the two years I'd been at Excalibur.
- I... grew a goatee? For the first time ever. So that's been exciting! I almost feel like a real boy.
Jeez! What's my problem? Why haven't I written about any of these things here? I should really work on that this year, if only for my own posterity, right?
But yeah. As I initially surmised, from basically every standpoint except that of the romantic (BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW), this year has actually been a pretty cool one. Largely quiet, but still full of plenty of friends and adventures and laughs. I've become increasingly more comfortable with where I'm at and who I am and what I want, working on getting along with myself more, and it feels good.
I'm really looking forward to 25, though. I have a feeling it's going to be my year, and I'm planning on really showing my little world who's boss once and for all.
Here are some of the suckier parts!
- I got broken up with by Stupid Matt who it turns out cheated on me beforehand so maybe he'll die. The end!
- I met this guy! His name was Gregory and he was tall and smart, he liked video games, he was a fair badminton player, and he invited me out to a Storm Large concert on our first date. One time we kissed during a thunderstorm. He was the one who told me Stupid Matt cheated on me with Slutty Bryan, but he was very considerate about it. But then he underwent a startling metamorphosis into a total whiny douchebag, and while he couldn't bother to return my calls amidst his moving and working and CONSTANT WHINING, he did somehow manage to find the time to get back together with his idiot ex-boyfriend, who, hilariously enough, broke up with him again! If I could've boxed up a round of applause and mailed it to him, I would've.
- I met this guy! His name was also Matt, but whatever. He was tall, with shaggy brown hair and big brown eyes, and he was starting his first year as a teacher, which was totally, totally hot. He enjoyed Harry Potter, he went with me to a roller-derby game, and one time when we were getting sushi both of our fortune cookies said, "The evening promises romantic interests." I even dared keep up hope in face of the fact that he was a total 24-year-old virgin(!!!), since some of us might remember how well that worked out last time. But then he underwent a gradual metamorphosis into a big scaredy wiener who couldn't balance a real-life grown-up relationship alongside both his understandably-demanding job and his even-more-demanding unspeakably horrible, obnoxious, emotionally-insecure psycho hosebeast of a roommate (and she was fat). He sent me a let's-just-be-friends email and stopped returning my calls! Awesome.
- I met this guy! His name was Blake and he was a startlingly intelligent, deep-voiced, beautiful blond vegetarian who invited me out to see King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, which basically made for the best first date ever, since it's kind of the best documentary in the world and all of you should see it twice. We had a nice long talk over desserts after the movie, and he gave me a pear(!) when I saw him to his car. The very next day, he underwent a rapid metamorphosis into a guy who'd been accepted to a four-month natural building/organic farming internship in Thailand. We still talk, though! And it's nice! So maybe we'll keep hanging out in April? I don't know?
- Oh yeah, and here's some closure for ya: Operation: Philip went absolutely nowhere and Hot Courier never showed his hotbod handsomeface at my workplace again, embarrassingly enough.
- ...I was feeling a little emotionally burned out for a while there.
But hey wait, there were highlights of my year, also!
- Maria, Tim and I went to see THE BODIES EXHIBIT in Seattle! It was maybe the best road trip ever, complete with an obligatory road trip participant in-joke about "crunchy beats." Maria and I basically ran around the museum and went completely crazy as we looked at all the preserved bodies, organs and nerves and just traded amazing body facts back and forth. Also we went to a park, wherein we were clearly, unambiguously warned not to feed the rabbis. It was the best fun!
- Ian and I went to the Portland comic convention! I got some good deals, but I was a little worried because I knew Stupid Matt would almost definitely be there, but Ian was the best best pal and he was totally my muscle; while I was sifting through the back issues, he would stand at my side with his arms crossed in front of his manly chest looking menacingly out into the crowd just in case anybody wanted to start something. And he did give Stupid Matt several mean glares and no-nonsense shakes of the head! I appreciated knowing he would throw down with that idiot on my behalf if it came to it, and we both had a lovely time. (Oh, also he offered to tell off Stupid Matt's horrible gay friends when we happened into them at the comic store, including Slutty Bryan, but I declined because I basically don't care about any of them even a little bit. Still! What a nice gesture!)
- HORRORFEST 2K7!!!! I only saw four of the eight movies, but they were all fantastically amazing. "Unearthed" featured Charlie Murphy as The Black Guy who made the obligatory Tupac reference and died the obligatory grisly death, as well as some dumb monster and a lot of splashing around in uranium mud. "The Many Deaths Of Ian Stone" actually had a surprisingly engaging storyline, even though the end special effects resulted in him looking like some kind of shadowy demon Troll doll. "Mulberry Street" was amusing for both a rat-virus that actually physiologically altered New Yorkers into horrible rat-things, as well as a retired boxer named Clutch and an effeminate black drag queen named Coco living together; Kate and I argued over which aspect was the less plausible. And as for "Tooth and Nail"... well, mere words would only cheapen it, I assure you.
- Ian, Angela and I drove to Montana and stayed with Angela's awesome family and I patted so many dogs and I ate famous potatoes and and went hot-tub-male-bonding with my housemate's girlfriend's father and played so many board games and yelled my throat out at a U of M Grizzlies game and saw a million bolts of lightning.
- In terms of matieral goods, 24 also brought us Darren Hayes' double album "This Delicate Thing We've Made," the discovery of Scott Pilgrim volumes 1 through 4, and, thanks to Ian, the acquisition of my very own stuffed The Cheat mere days before they all went extinct. All these things have quite directly contributed to improving the overall quality of my life.
- MANTA RAY IN THE BATHTUB!!! Definitely a tale for a future entry.
- I switched regular comic stores! For those few among you reading this who are not nerds, let me assure you this is a BIG DEAL. I've never before closed down my subscription box at a comic store without moving away directly thereafter. But I was getting so tired of the folks at Excalibur being all snooty and creepy and not acting like they're in the business of selling fun, as Ian put it. Also sometimes they would just not get in comics when they were supposed to be released! "Nope, didn't get it in!" Just like that! And, more often than not, it would be the one I was most looking forward to that week. It was finally when they didn't receive Angel: After the Fall #2 on time when I was finally pushed to the edge and realized, Why has my weekly comic run, the highlight of my week, become such an ordeal? Even the hot boy with the sideburns and sparkly blue eyes and Star Trek shirts (who I theorize they hired on just to keep me on board for that much longer) could no longer hold me there (because a.) he smoked and b.) he was by all indications heterosexual so he would never love me - HAHA, JOKE'S ON THEM!). So I closed down my box as quickly and painlessly as possible, then brought my business over to Cosmic Monkey, who have never let me down; it was very much like divorcing my horrible wife and moving right in full-time with my sexy mistress. AND I HAVE NOT REGRETTED IT. When I brought in my neatly-typed, alphabetized and, shall we say, voluminous monthly subscription list, the clerk actually muttered "Wackadoo!" under his breath, which immediately made me feel more appreciated than I ever did in the two years I'd been at Excalibur.
- I... grew a goatee? For the first time ever. So that's been exciting! I almost feel like a real boy.
Jeez! What's my problem? Why haven't I written about any of these things here? I should really work on that this year, if only for my own posterity, right?
But yeah. As I initially surmised, from basically every standpoint except that of the romantic (BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW), this year has actually been a pretty cool one. Largely quiet, but still full of plenty of friends and adventures and laughs. I've become increasingly more comfortable with where I'm at and who I am and what I want, working on getting along with myself more, and it feels good.
I'm really looking forward to 25, though. I have a feeling it's going to be my year, and I'm planning on really showing my little world who's boss once and for all.