It seems that me and my sister have exceded the limit of downloading alloud. It means that now we only get 75 minutes a day of the net till the end of the month (thats between the both of us too).

Nothing much has changed. My Mum woke up last night at 4 am and went off her head at me for still being awake. Atleast she knows now that I CAN'T sleep. So maybe its a good thing. I might go out a bit later on. I don't know yet. No jobs were in the paper today. Well no ones that I could get. I called a bar school and think I might give that ago. ( Read more... )

I just spent about an hour on the phone to Trent. He is such an awesome person and I am so glad he was a mobile phone now. And I am really glad we are becoming good friends. Hes someone that I don't think would ever hurt me as a friend either. I am going to get to see him tommorow. Yayness ( Read more... )

Still dreaming of that face and its been so long and still won't leave my mind. Just like its engraved there permantly. Why won't these visions just go? I can't barely take it anymore. I want to get be normal and do normal things. But its always there, haunting me. Hurting me.

Sometimes when fucked up things happen that are so unexpected it and it jerks you so hard to the floor I just sit and think: What is the point? Why should we do anything when we are just going to die? There is no guarantee that we aren't going to die tommorow. Why does bad luck struct so randomly? No one knows who is next? It could be them? It ( Read more... )

Everythings falling down. It was like a drug, this hope was. A drug that kept me holding on. Just in touch with that knowledge that hes ok and I will see him soon. If only the knowledge was actually right. Now theres nothing. No present, no future. And the past.....well it will slowly fade away. Its just a memory and memorys like these stab me so ( Read more... )

When you have dreamed of something for so long then you know that it can just never happen. It goes straight into the wasted dreams bin with all the other non realistic thoughts, hopes and dreams. But what is realistic? Is what I think realistic different to the definition? I would think and hope so ( Read more... )

Your feelings can change so quickly. Well not feelings but how you look at people. I once thought I knew this person. Well probably more imagined that I knew this person well. Well I am close to them but he did something wrong which I don't even know if he knows was wrong to do. But all of a sudden what I thought of him and who I thought he was is ( Read more... )

And I don't want to regret anything anymore but I just succeed to make to many bad choices and mistakes. I pretend to life live to the fullest and have no regret but the truth is that when it comes down to it there aren't too many things that I don't have guilt for. I think I am just to impulsive. I am selfish. I get an idea in my head. I don't ( Read more... )

Its occured again. And I wish it wouldn’t. That sense. I just want to isolate myself from the whole atmosphere so there will be no more passion, emotion, feelings and mainly I won’t have to express anything to humanity. I won’t have to try and be the person they all want me to be. It will all be over if only I could just lock myself up in some ( Read more... )