Know what I miss right right now more than anything? The feeling of Bailey's cheek against mine... I just saw a picture of her smiling and remembered how wonderfuly invigorating it felt to pull her smiling self towards me, to push my nose against hers and look into her beautiful eyes... A truly happy, joyful Bailey is the warmest memory I have ( Read more... )

So yeah, Friday? Definitely a good day, I had a fun car ride to the show with Bailey and Wilbur at around 4:45 and we just sat around for a while because Julie and Alissa had already set up. It was exciting to see those little photos we'd taken transformed into these glossy, full-scale wall prints. And the atmosphere, it was so fun, so charged, ( Read more... )

I can't wait for this hour to end, it feels like I'm getting dragged through each minute. Oh well, I think today is going to be a good day, hell, I might even go as far as to say a LUCKY day. Why? When I woke up, I didn't have my leather belt, but then I found Bailey's belt hanging from a hanger in the closet. Then I went to retrieve my rice ( Read more... )

I can't handle another solemn, cheerless day, and I can tell that that's exactly what today is going to be. Why can't I get happy without seeing her smile to see me, why do I still rush to the phone everytime I hear it ring... I don't understand what I've been doing wrong ( Read more... )

So I went to Joe's last night with Nate and Ian, we drank lots of Brandy and watched Sin City, great movie. Ian (the sober one) drove to Winona and we almost got into a fight with these two pill poppers in front of Kwik Trip, and we didn't do anything to merrit their aggression! haha, they were so fucked up. We were all chatting and having a ( Read more... )

I feel like I've grown so much in the past month (weeks, days, hours, what does it matter?!)! It feels sooo good, like when I first told myself that I was going to try and do the things it took to be confident. It feels so great I could just get up and dance ( Read more... )

( I have no title for this one... )

I watched that show again tonight, it was that sad episode that always makes me feel uneasy in that 'awwww' kind of way. The one where R cheats on R while they're on a break... Why when I'm in a good mood does all this sad stimuli surround me? I want to be happy, and BAM, Elliott Smith comes on and I can't turn it off. I want to be happy and ( Read more... )

I woke up at 8:30 today, and I showered and everything, I called Bailey at around 9(?), because I thought it'd be fun to say hi, haha, cause we both skipped the first few hours. I wish I would've slept a bit longer though ( Read more... )

bailey says:
toby, you have no idea how badly i want to grasp onto the feelings i felt when we were happy, no idea... i've been trying to remember and get that feeling back into me, but i can't find it