Oh how foolish i have been.
The tell tale signs were all there
blinking caution.
Millie.
Your first love.
Your love still.
Everything next to her
will just be
settling.
I don't think I could handle
being your consolation prize.
It was a sucker punch to the gut;
an unscheduled wake-up call
wrong room, wrong time.

Autumn is my favorite time of year.  The warmth of summer nights are replaced with big sweaters, and fuzzy socks.  The leaves begin to change, and there's always something crisp about the air.  It signals the end of things.  Ends of summer romances, the end of waking up to stale, hot air.  It signals the end of a certain whimsy that goes hand in ( Read more... )

If my soul had a sound, I think it would be the saxophone.

There's nothing like feeling that crushing helplessness.  Like waiting in limbo for judgment.  But what's worse is when you're waiting for that judgment, knowing what way the tables are going to turn, and not knowing how to stop it.  Not being able to put on a happy face, and pretend that things are going to be ok.  Because you KNOW that the way ( Read more... )

Lately I've been thinking about lies and love.  And it seems strange how often the two go hand in hand.  Because when you love someone, or at least when you think you love someone, the white lies don't matter.  Like saying you like mushrooms when really just the sight of them makes you squirm.  Or saying blue is your favorite color, when everyone ( Read more... )

A long time ago I realized that I couldn't picture what my life would be like when I was older.  And by older, I mean in my thirties.  In my forties.  Fifties.  I didn't want to create a future self that I knew I'd never grown into.  Even now I can't see myself at the age of 23, even though it's only 5 months away.  Though, for a brief moment in ( Read more... )

I was once told that my writing is deeply rooted in Romanticism.  I never saw it as such, but if it is true, I have just discovered that it's a lack of sleep that allows my mind to delve into this genre ( Read more... )

I have been terribly negligent of this journal, leaving it outside in puddles and letting it get trampled by strangers, preferring shinier gazmos to the simplicity of writing out my innermost thoughts.  Simplicity of my innermost thoughts.  That, my dear friends, is a laugh.  My thoughts, for the moment being, are anything but simple.  And at times ( Read more... )

It was a spur of the moment decision ( Read more... )

I'm writing again.  I knew that this place would be good for me, more than financially.  I'm glad.  But slightly nervous about the subject matter.  I don't lead a double life.  I have a hard enough time functioning as a single person ( Read more... )