(Untitled)

[seagullheadguy]

know what really gets my feathers ruffled? it's when people mispronounce words. for instance, just the other evening i was discussing nouveau-cinema with my friend reza over cocktails at the local boston pizza. we were wrangling over the necessity of every individual monster in that new van helsing movie, when he said something to the effect of

Comments

[sleepycat]

have you seen my black cat, very friendly, might stop you to pet her, she lives over near vitoria and broadway. Please help sir.

[seagullheadguy]

does she roll around on the ground a lot? red collar? small in stature?

then fuck yeah i saw her.

shit.

[sleepycat]

yes! have you seen her?

[seagullheadguy]

--->fuck yeah<---

[sausagess]

Oh, Nate-Snoopy-Dawgish-Guy

So, I need your help with interpreting a dream. There's a forest. And you are walking through it. Naked. Carrying a bucket. Your eyes are saying "You don't wanna know what I just fucking did! Mudda fuckas! Borscht (pronounced bor.sh.t)! Dishsoap!" And Andy's like "What did this mystery guy put in my drink? Making gingersnap coffins is fuckin' amazing!"

I like that you called it "iced cream" and "iced tea." And then, "dishsoap" without the hyphen, and "bessborough" without the capitalization. You're fucking revolutionary!

[seagullheadguy]

WILDERNESS

by nathaneil mckinnonschtein

deep inside the forest of feelings
i turn cuckoo

burn a pyre for the crazy guys.
feed it with the social prudence of the old world:
shirt
pants

it don't matter

drain a pig in a bucket.
call it borscht.
call it dishsoap.
call it jesus.

YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT I JUST FUCKING DID!
mudda fuckas.

APPLAUSE

i am a mysterious raven

what's in your drink

call it borscht.
call it dishsoap.
call it wilderness.

URGENT UPDATE - NOW MUTHAFUCKA

[mlle_bitch]

You listen to me MISTER. I demand that you update your fucking journal and I mean PRONTO. We miss you. Or call us RIGHT AWAY.

THANK YOU.

Re: URGENT UPDATE - NOW MUTHAFUCKA

[seagullheadguy]

awwAWWWAAAAAWWWWW

my cpu is making these chitty-chitty-bang-bang sounds and running at like 15 mhz or some shit. so i guess that means i'll have to phone more.