For the official record that will never leave this house? I ain't never touched your Ma's nog. *shakes head* I kinda have this will to live... Which in a town like this? Strange.
*points to the stake* Ok, the only way I can say this is-- You've seen Lost Boys, right?
Great Uncle Daniel crazy? Okay, man, that's just pushin' it.
*scowls*
I knew she'd say somethin' like that. Karma my ass - unless Karma happened to be a big fuckin' crossbow armed demon. *tosses him a report* Look at that. That's just the vampire one. Tiny holes in the vic's neck. Body drained of blood. Get where I'm goin' with this?
It sounds like you guys have one of those teenage vampire wanna be cults. I saw a news report on that once, and some kids were like killing people and trying to drink their blood. Pretty disgusting stuff.
It's not a cult, Collin. We had front row freakin' seats to an apocalypse right before Christmas, and--
*shakes head*
I realise I'm not the most equipped to be givin' you this lecture. Fact is, the reason I didn't want you comin' out here was because of all the weird shit happening, and it wasn't like I could tell your Mom that a Hellmouth wasn't a fit place for a teen to grow up... This stuff is real, man. From vampires, down to demons down to God knows what else and it ain't no freaky cult.
*glances over at Collin* I guess that depends how much trouble you stay out of, huh?
*starts up the engine, checking to make sure all the weapons are in the back* And I'm telling ya, if you'd seen that thing/ You wouldn't be so quick to mock. All beedy fuckin' eyes and teeth.
*looks at him* You start pissing me off and getting on the wrong side of people? Then yeah, you get a curfew. For now we'll see how it goes. I want no trouble off you, Col - else every cop in Sunnydale's gonna have a mug-shot of you and your rap sheet in their in-tray. You get it?
*glares at his nephew, trying not to laugh* Keep goin' with the bunny jibes. I can make your life Hell, Mister.
*looks at the girl* We'll drop you off somewhere safe.
*turns towards Collin* Let's just say you were a hell of a lot better than I was with my first vamp. I shot it three times with the 9mm before I realised it wasn't doing much good.
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*walks out into the living room where Sean is*
So, you said you wanted to talk about the weird shit in this town?
*arches an eyebrow at Sean, sits down on the couch*
I'm listening.
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Yeah, look, I... *frowns* Mind your language, ok?
And I wanted to talk to you 'cause I think if you live here? I gotta prepare you for what's ahead.
*thinks for a second, shaking his head*
Do I launch in with demonic bunnies or vampires?
*takes a stake from his desk drawer* See that? That's the new 9mm as far as you're concerned.
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This from the guy who could pass for a sailor?
Yeah whatever.
*catches the stake*
Huh? Did you drink to much of Ma's leftover eggnog?
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*points to the stake* Ok, the only way I can say this is-- You've seen Lost Boys, right?
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*sighs*
You realize how crazy you sound right? Like Great Uncle Daniel crazy?
*shakes his head*
Nah. She just mentioned karma got you by shooting you in the ass since you spent most of your life being a pain in her ass.
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*scowls*
I knew she'd say somethin' like that. Karma my ass - unless Karma happened to be a big fuckin' crossbow armed demon. *tosses him a report* Look at that. That's just the vampire one. Tiny holes in the vic's neck. Body drained of blood. Get where I'm goin' with this?
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It sounds like you guys have one of those teenage vampire wanna be cults. I saw a news report on that once, and some kids were like killing people and trying to drink their blood. Pretty disgusting stuff.
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*shakes head*
I realise I'm not the most equipped to be givin' you this lecture. Fact is, the reason I didn't want you comin' out here was because of all the weird shit happening, and it wasn't like I could tell your Mom that a Hellmouth wasn't a fit place for a teen to grow up... This stuff is real, man. From vampires, down to demons down to God knows what else and it ain't no freaky cult.
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*slides into the passenger seat, automatically fastens the seatbelt to keep Sean from bitching*
Demonic bunnies. Uh huh. I bet it was really traumatic. Do you wig out when you watch Saturday morning cartoons and bugs appears?
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*starts up the engine, checking to make sure all the weapons are in the back* And I'm telling ya, if you'd seen that thing/ You wouldn't be so quick to mock. All beedy fuckin' eyes and teeth.
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*forces himself to look sincere*
That must have been really disturbing. Good thing you made it out without injury.
*can't resist*
Wait...Uncle Sean, the demonic bunny isn't the demon that shot you in the ass right?
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*glares at his nephew, trying not to laugh* Keep goin' with the bunny jibes. I can make your life Hell, Mister.
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*looks slightly uneasy as they park at the cemetary*
Uh...yeah, whatever you say.
This has to be the creepiest family outting ever.
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And, y'know, if you're having second thoughts about this? We could always head home.
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*grabs the crossbow*
You know...I'd feel more comfortable with your 9mm
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*pushes open the gates to the cemetery* Aim for the heart. Don't let it get too close. And don't shoot me in the ass.
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It turned to dust...
*looks at the girl*
You should go home...away from the cemetary. We could drive you. I want to go home...away from the cemetary now.
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*turns towards Collin* Let's just say you were a hell of a lot better than I was with my first vamp. I shot it three times with the 9mm before I realised it wasn't doing much good.
*heads back towards the car*
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