Doula and UC

[season_changing]

Being a doula can be emotionally stressful sometimes.  *sigh*  I have this client that really REALLY wants a VBAC.  She's also struggling with self-confidence when it comes to stating what she wants and how to get it.  She actually asked me if she could come to my house while in labor during the day, so that her dh wouldn't know and rush her to the

Comments

[moonshineray]

I personally think you did the right thing. If her husband was onboard, I think it would be a different story, but I think she is going to need the extra support. I hope you can be there with her too. It sounds like she needs women to be there to hold her up since she is not quite there yet by herself and her husband's comments are only harmful to the process.

[mahogany]

Yep, you did the right thing. Yes, it's a woman's body, and yes, ultimately, her husband can't force her to give birth in a hospital, but if he's going to be a huge stress case during a UC (which is our situation, btw), then a midwife is a much better option. Besides, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't want to have any part of deceiving the husband. If a woman chooses to deceive her husband, that's her business, and she'll have to deal with the fallout, but as a professional, you need to run far far away from that kind of thing (which you are wisely doing).

[season_changing]

if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't want to have any part of deceiving the husband.

Yes, absolutely not. That's just...wrong. I would never, EVER want to come between a wife and her husband in such a way. I mean, come on! Our job is to support them as they usher in a new family...not destroy it!

[lafemmedesfemme]

yeah, see this is why, as passionate as i am about birthing, i just don't think i have the emotional stamina to be in the birth industry-- even at the very edges of it, like you. if i had her as a client, i'd be alternately annoyed at her and heartbroken for her, and then have to deal with dumping her as a client. totally not my thing. :-/

[season_changing]

Yes, I hear you. This particular case has been really stressful for me. It's hard because I want to be supportive but at the same time, she called me the other day stressing out about how to "get out of" her doctor's appointment. Um...don't go? "but, they said they really needed to see me for x n such a test" "well, do you WANT x n such a test?" "Um...no, not really." "ok, well, don't go!" BLARGH.