S3 2015: The Reason (It Has To Be You) (4/4)
Howon and Woohyun sat in the car as it sped towards Seoul National University Hospital. They’d managed to avoid the reporters at both Haneda & Gimpo Airport by going via the VIP entrances, but they weren’t sure what kind of reception they would have at the hospital. Woohyun had wanted to go home first, but Howon insisted on getting the meeting with his boss over and done with.
“Woohyun, your PR agency is also waiting for you to vet their statement about this matter,” Sungjong said, seated next to the driver up in front. He'd been with Woohyun since Woohyun's pro debut sevenyears ago.
Woohyun nodded. “Ok. Thanks, Sungjong-hyung.”
Sungjong glanced at them via the rearview mirror, looking haggard but also a little amused. “Seven years, and it seems like both of you have come full circle,” he remarked. “I still wonder sometimes how your doubles pair would have shaken up the world tennis arena.”
“Howon’d have probably left me halfway to carve out his own tennis career,” Woohyun joked. “He was always better than I was.”
Howon smiled slightly, but said nothing. Woohyun knew he was thinking about the looming meeting and squeezed his hand comfortingly.
The car rolled to a stop in the staff basement carpark, which was thankfully quiet and empty, without any reporters. Howon got out. “I’ll be back soon.”
“Wait.” Woohyun got out too. “I’m coming along.”
“You can’t,” Howon said. “The meeting’s just between me and them.”
“No,” Woohyun insisted stubbornly. “I’m not letting you do this alone. What if they threaten you or say that you said certain things when you didn’t? It’d be your word against theirs.”
Howon sighed. “This is only our second day as a couple, you know,” he reminded Woohyun. “Don’t you think you’re being too forward?”
“I don’t care,” Woohyun said mutinously. “I won’t let you go in there alone. Let’s go.”
Howon gave up and let him follow. He scanned his staff pass and the lift took them up to the management floor, where Dr. Han was already waiting for them, together with the Executive Director of the company, Dr Byun.
Howon greeted them, and introduced Woohyun. They looked a little startled at having Woohyun there, but soon returned to their impassive expressions.
They sat down in a conference room, a large table in between them.
“So,” Dr. Han began. “This has caused severe inconvenience to our hospital operations.” He fixed Howon with a look. “We’ve had to engage additional security to fend off the reporters.”
“Isn’t that what we normally do when we have to treat celebrities?” Howon replied. “It doesn’t seem like an anomaly.”
“Still, this scandal implicates one of our employees,” he went on. “And it’s different, because you’re being accused of stealing Nam Woohyun away from his wife, and causing her death.”
Woohyun bristled. Under the table, Howon patted his thigh to make him calm down.
“If they’re accusing me of negligence, I believe the hospital can produce records and reports to show that I carried out my duty as an A&E doctor to the best of my ability,” Howon said. “For the record, I didn’t even know who she was until Woohyun-sshi’s entrance, which took place a few hours after she passed away."
“I will be making an official statement later,” Woohyun added. “You need not concern yourself with such rumours.”
“But these rumours and accusations are very bad for our hospital’s image,” Dr. Han continued. “It would cause people and patients to lose faith in our hospital.”
“Which is why, when you demanded that I deny any association with Nam Woohyun yesterday, I told you I would not and offered to resign,” Howon said. The Executive Director looked startled, turning to Dr. Han. Evidently he had not known of this.
“Why did you do such a thing?” Dr. Byun said. “That’s uncalled for.”
“My offer to resign still stands, if the hospital feels it cannot employ me,” Howon went on.
“Please hold on,” Woohyun said. “I believe Dr. Byun is aware of my discussions with your hospital’s Corporate Social Responsibility Department.”
He looked wary, but nodded.
“I don’t know if you have been briefed in full, but the foundation I am intending to start in honour of my late wife would be in partnership with Seoul National University Hospital,” Woohyun continued. “A partnership that would become very unlikely should you force Howon to leave your employment.”
Both Dr. Byun and Dr. Han looked alarmed. “Now, wait…”
“After all, if you can’t believe Howon, and if you can’t believe me when I say that I have never cheated on my late wife, then I have no reason to have faith in this hospital to be able to administer my foundation properly,” Woohyun said, eyes steely and hard. “If you choose to believe in unsubstantiated rumours even when the victims of the said rumours are seated in front of you telling you otherwise, then I will have to inform my foundation's board of directors that I have serious doubts about the competence of your hospital’s staff to administer the foundation’s money and resources in an unbiased manner.”
“Nam Woohyun,” Howon spoke up, sounding absolutely furious. “I don’t need your help-”
“I’m not doing this because I want you to continue to employ Howon,” Woohyun said, ignoring Howon’s interruption. “On the contrary, after seeing how you have treated him over the past few months that I caused him inconvenience - blaming him for this mess, even though the blame is mine, putting him on administrative duty, treating him like less than the doctor he is, and grossly interfering in his personal life - I’d rather he work somewhere else. You’ve been threatening to fire him as if Seoul National University Hospital is the only hospital in Seoul, but it isn’t. And if you can’t even treat your loyal employee properly, then I don’t see why my foundation should partner with your hospital in any capacity.”
Dr. Byun had furrowed his eyebrows, looking over at Dr. Han, who was breaking out in a cold sweat. “I don’t recall you informing me of such treatment,” he said to him. “And I don’t believe that the management allowed you to make threats of termination against Dr. Lee.”
“I can explain!” he spluttered.
“Actually,” Woohyun said. “The fact that the Executive Director doesn’t know how Howon’s boss has been handling this matter is of even greater concern.”
Howon had enough. He knew Woohyun was doing this for him, but he didn’t like this Woohyun at all. This Woohyun was cold and calculative and ruthless, probably born out of his long and lonely journey to the pinnacle of his sport. He didn’t like his boss, and certainly had issues with the way he had been treated, but he felt like he was made to hide behind Woohyun while Woohyun discussed the ‘important issues’ with his superiors. Not only that, the way Woohyun spoke and made veiled threats made Howon feel dirty and uncomfortable.
He stood up. “Dr. Byun, with your permission, I’d like to take a week of unpaid leave while I consider my next move. I think that my not being around will also help the hospital to continue operating smoothly, while this dating scandal runs its course.” He bowed. “I’m very sorry for the inconvenience caused to my colleagues and the patients.”
The director looked at him, a little relieved. “Yes, of course. If you still have paid leave, you can use it.”
“Then, I’ll be going.” Howon bowed again, turning to leave without even a glance at Woohyun.
Woohyun bolted after him. “Yah, what are you doing-”
“Not here,” Howon cut him off, painfully aware of the looks they were getting from the staff in the office.
Woohyun held his peace all the way down to the car park and until they'd got into the car and shut the doors, then he let loose.
“Why did you just leave like that?” he demanded. “I was trying to help you!”
“Help me burn bridges?” Howon shot back. “Threaten my boss, and the management? I didn’t need you to do that for me!”
“Like I said, it wasn’t for you,” Woohyun insisted. “It’s the clear, logical conclusion.”
“Yes, but you didn’t have to bring it up then,” Howon retorted. “It looks like you’re just trying to protect me. It looks like I can’t fight my battles on my own. And what’s this about a foundation?”
Woohyun raked a hand through his hair, frustrated. “I was going to tell you,” he muttered. “I wanted to honour the memory of my late wife with something. So I thought of setting up a foundation in her name, for underprivileged children who need hospital care. When we were married, she’d done charity work with children, so I thought this would be a fitting way to remember her. I’d begun discussions with the hospital about the fund and how to administer it a while back.”
“Why my hospital, though?” Howon pressed him. “There are other better hospitals out there, like Samsung Medical Center.”
“Because you’re there,” Woohyun replied. “I know you’re good with children, and Sunggyu-hyung said you were considering specializing in paediatric medicine. I thought of getting you to be involved in the foundation.”
“I see. And when were you going to actually tell me of my involvement?” Howon asked, voice icy.
“After we came back from Tokyo,” Woohyun said.
“You couldn’t have told me when you were discussing all this with Sunggyu-hyung?” Howon demanded. “Seriously? I’m not - I’m not a piece of meat to be thrown around, Nam Woohyun. Plus did you ever think about what it'd look like? Your current boyfriend running your late wife’s foundation? The press would have a field day!”
“I never said you were a piece of meat." Woohyun looked frustrated. “I just wanted to help you.”
“I’ve survived seven years on my own without you, I don’t think I need your help,” Howon spat.
Woohyun looked like he wanted to reply, then sank back in his seat, looking exhausted. “Fine. I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “You’re right, I should’ve informed you. And I shouldn’t have used the foundation to threaten your bosses.”
The fight went out of Howon as he heard Woohyun’s quiet, exhausted apology. Almost instantly the guilt at saying such hurtful things to him welled up.
Even so, it took him a while before he had cooled off enough to swallow his pride and apologize. “...I’m sorry too,” he said softly. “I know you were trying to protect me, in your own way. I just - I just really didn’t like the way you were speaking. I hated it. It didn’t sound like you.”
“It’s part of the consequences of clawing my way to the top,” Woohyun said. "I've had to face people worse than them; people who'd chew you up and spit you out. The only way to make sure they can't bully you is to show them that you have just as much power and influence as them."
“But it makes you just like them,” Howon said. “And that makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to use their own tactics against them. That would make me - make us no better than them. I’d rather just quit and find another job.”
Woohyun’s eyes were full of concern. “But with the current public sentiment...it might be difficult,” he said.
Howon shrugged. “Doctors are always in demand; I’ll eventually find a job somewhere. Otherwise, I’ll go back to medical school and specialise. Don’t worry, I’ll figure something out.”
After a moment’s hesitance, Woohyun reached out for Howon’s hand, and Howon let him, their entwined hands resting on the seat in between them in a peace-making gesture.
In front, their driver and Sungjong breathed a quiet sigh of relief.
.
.
.
“But he’s Doctor! Not Uncle!” Joonhee yelled, jumping to his feet. He glared at his daddy and stomped his feet, on the verge of bursting into angry tears.
Woohyun groaned and buried his face in his hands. Howon patted his shoulder comfortingly.
They’d returned to Woohyun’s home, put their luggage down, let Woohyun’s mother fuss over them and feed them, showered and changed (separately) and then sat Joonhee down on the living room sofa for The Talk.
“Joonhee-yah,” Howon coaxed him. “Can’t I be Uncle-Doctor Howon? Doctor-Uncle Howon?”
“That’s weird,” both Woohyun and Joonhee declared simultaneously, making Howon roll his eyes. "Then you try," Howon said.
“Joonhee-yah,” Woohyun tried again. “I really like-”
“Hush, Woohyun,” Howon hissed. "You can't say that."
“But why?!” he demanded, in nearly the exact same tone Joonhee had used on him. “Why can’t I say it?”
“It hasn’t even been two days,” Howon stated. “No.”
Woohyun took a deep breath. “So what? It hasn’t even been two days, but I’m already certain I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He smirked, knowing he’d won as Howon blinked at him, struck speechless.
“Joonhee-yah,” he said again, smiling charmingly at his son who was staring at him suspiciously. “You like Doctor, right?”
Joonhee nodded warily.
“I like Doctor very, very much too,” he said. “And I’m quite sure he likes me too.” He heard Howon snort.
“Do you like Doctor more than me?” Joonhee asked uncertainly.
“No, baby, no.” Woohyun left the sofa and gathered his son into his arms. He sat on the floor, cuddling Joonhee closely. “It’s a different kind of love. I love you very very much as your Daddy. But I love Doctor like…”
“Like how you loved Mummy?” Joonhee looked up at him innocently.
Woohyun pursed his lips and smiled sadly. “Yeah. Like that.”
“But you didn’t spend a lot of time with Mummy,” Joonhee observed. "Or me. You didn't play with me."
“Yes, and I’m sorry for that,” Woohyun said, kissing his cheek. “I was very busy working, and I neglected the people who loved me the most, including you. Will you forgive me?”
Joonhee snuggled into Woohyun’s embrace. “I guess,” he said.
“So, Doctor - Uncle Howon - came along after Mummy died, and I fell in love with him,” Woohyun continued. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”
Joonhee frowned. “And me?”
“Yes, Joonhee-yah, and you - until you get married and start your own family,” Woohyun ruffled his hair.
“Is he...going to be Mummy?” Joonhee looked confused and anxious.
Howon knelt down in front of them. “No, Joonhee,” he said gently, smiling at the kid. “I’m not going to replace Mummy. I’ll just be your Uncle Howon, and love and care for you like your Daddy loves and takes care of you.”
Joonhee pursed his lips. “So Doctor would stay at home with us?”
“Yes, when I’m not working,” Howon said.
“And play with me?” Joonhee asked.
“Yes, I’ll play with you,” Howon confirmed.
“Ok!” Joonhee said happily, his frown clearing up. “Uncle Howon!”
Woohyun smiled and gathered both Joonhee and Howon into a big hug. “Thank you, baby,” he whispered. He knew, just as Howon did, that they would have more to go through - that when Joonhee grew older and smarter and learned more about the truth of his mother’s death, he could very well rebel and lash out at them.
But right now - Woohyun just wanted to enjoy what they had. When the storms came, they’d resolve it - together.
.
.
.
They had a long discussion with Sungjong and his PR firm, and eventually decided to release a statement that was deliberately vague about whether or not they were in a relationship, while emphasizing that Woohyun had retired and pleading for privacy for themselves and their families. Predictably, the Internet exploded with many people taking sides, and many accusing them of nasty things.
So they spent an Internet-free week at Woohyun’s home with his parents and Joonhee, resting, playing games, and enjoying their time together, away from the harsh scrutiny of strangers. Howon’s parents confirmed they were safe and gave them their blessings. Some of their old university tennis teammates came over to visit and drink (after Joonhee had gone to bed). Woohyun decided not to set up a charitable foundation and donated money to their alma mater to set up a scholarship for underprivileged students in his late wife's name, earning himself some goodwill with the public. It was a good week.
But when the week came to an end, Howon was no closer to a decision than he had been at the start.
“Have you decided?” Woohyun asked him. They’d gone to Woohyun’s bedroom after tucking Joonhee in for the night, lounging on the balcony.
“No,” Howon said. “I haven’t.”
“You could always quit and look after Joonhee full time,” Woohyun said, and Howon knew he was serious. “I have enough money to last us until retirement.”
“That money should be kept for Joonhee’s education,” Howon said.
“Yes, well, I have enough money to send Joonhee to Harvard five times over, and still have enough for us to retire,” Woohyun said solemnly, and Howon rolled his eyes.
“That’s very nice, Woohyun, but I’d like to have my own source of income,” Howon said. “I don’t want to depend on you for money.”
“I understand,” Woohyun said. “But I know it’s difficult for you now, as well.” He bit his lip, feeling guilty again over ruining Howon’s life. Maybe...Maybe it was a bad idea, to start dating so soon after his wife’s death. He didn’t mind if he got slammed by the public, but Howon was innocent.
“Do you think we should stay away from each other for a while?” he suggested tentatively. “I mean, until things blow over.”
Silence. Woohyun fidgeted nervously, already regretting his impulsive question.
Then, Howon opened his mouth. “Explain yourself.”
“I mean, I know it’s hard on you, and I feel so guilty for practically destroying your life. Your parents were nice about it but I bet they’re secretly really mad at me for dragging you into this mess…” Woohyun rambled on and on, until Howon grabbed his face and turned Woohyun's head to face him.
“Nam Woohyun.”
Woohyun stopped rambling and looked at him. “Yes?”
“You know, for someone who loves talking, you’re really bad at communication,” Howon said wryly.
Woohyun blinked at him. “Um, explain yourself?”
Howon sighed. “Of course I’m worried about my career,” he said. “But you didn’t force me into this relationship, I agreed to it on my own. So you can’t blame yourself completely for the decision I’m facing now. And more importantly, you’re making one-sided decisions for the both of us again.” Howon glared at him and Woohyun cringed.
“But I remember you saying that your dream was to help people and save lives as a doctor,” Woohyun blurted out, pulling Howon's hands from his face and holding them tight in his own hands. “What if because of me, you never get to be a doctor again? Then I’d have ruined your dream.”
“It’s true that I always wanted to save lives and become a doctor,” Howon said honestly. “But dreams can change. They change, because I change, and the people and the things that are important to me can change. Being a doctor and saving lives is important to me, but it’s nothing compared to the value I place on my family. And if we’re going to be a couple and raise Joonhee as a family, then you’d take priority over my dream to be a doctor. My dream would change - or rather - my dream to have a happy, healthy, loving family would take priority. And if that means I have to sacrifice my dream to be a doctor - or at least postpone it - then I’d gladly do it.” Howon smiled at him. “Just like how you sacrificed your career for Joonhee.”
“Howonnie…” Woohyun looked visibly touched, eyes brimming with tears. He clutched Howon’s hands to his chest.
“But you’re being a little dramatic,” Howon said dryly. “Like I said, I’ll eventually be able to find a job as a doctor. It’s just a matter of where and what type of job. I wouldn’t mind becoming a normal general practitioner and seeing patients in a regular clinic.” He smiled dreamily. “Then at the end of the day I can come home and have dinner with both of you.”
“That’s all you dream of?” Woohyun drew Howon closer. “A happy family eating dinner together?”
“Mm, yeah,” Howon said.
“I can think of one more thing I want,” Woohyun said.
Howon rolled his eyes. “Me in your bed?”
“Well, there’s that, but I wasn’t thinking of that,” Woohyun said. “I was thinking of exercise.”
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.
.
“You want me to play doubles with you?” Howon said in disbelief. They were standing outside one of Seoul National University’s tennis courts, Woohyun holding two tennis rackets in his hands. Sunggyu sat crosslegged on the bench inside the court, dozing off, while Dongwoo chased Joonhee around the court, pretending to throw tennis balls at him. It’d been six months since Howon had moved in with Woohyun and quit his job. He’d taken a refresher course in general practice, and found a job in a clinic in a quiet neighbourhood once the fuss over him and Woohyun died down.
“Please?” Woohyun begged. “It’s been so long…”
“That’s exactly the problem I have, Woohyun - it’s been ages since I’ve played tennis, let alone doubles!” Howon protested. “Yah, you could cream the two of them on your own - why do you have to involve me?”
“But I want to play with you,” Woohyun grinned, delivering the nostalgic line dramatically. "Look, I even dragged Gyu-hyung out of bed to play with us. And Dongwoo-hyung rescheduled his dance class for us. You should hurry up and agree, or you’ll be late to open your clinic, and your patients will complain."
Howon fought the urge to smile and rolled his eyes. “I’m really rusty,” he insisted. “Also, don’t use my patients as an excuse - you could have scheduled this match on a weekend, when my clinic isn’t open.”
“Just one game?” Woohyun’s grin grew wider. “Just one game, and I won’t bug you anymore if you really don’t want to play.”
“That’s what you said ten years ago,” Howon reminded him. “And look where we are today.”
“I think we did pretty well, for one game,” Woohyun said. “So? What’s it going to be?” He pulled out a black and white bandana and waved it around. “I even brought your bandana, so you can’t complain about getting hair in your eyes.”
“Ten years later, and I’m back where we started,” Howon sighed. “Fine. I’ll play. Just this one game.” He grunted as Woohyun happily flung his arms around him, and finally broke into a wide, happy grin.
When our dreams come true one by one, and we meet again,
The coincidences become destiny.