S3 2015: we’ll be the stars
Title: we’ll be the stars
Pairing(s): Woohyun/Sunggyu
Rating: PG-13
Length: 3357
Summary: it’s been three years since woohyun has last seen sunggyu
Prompts:
1. Quote: “You got no jams.”
2. Image: image
3. Song: mv/lyrics
The wedding invitation comes in the mailbox on a Saturday. Woohyun wakes up to a text from Myungsoo saying ‘Hyung, check your mailbox’ (not that he wouldn’t, because even though the others all call him a hermit boy or hermit hyung, he still religiously checks his mailbox everyday because one time two years back Sunggyu sent him a postcard), and when he does there’s a white envelope tied with a pale gold ribbon with the words NAM WOOHYUN printed in stark black letters. The card inside is stiff with glossy words that say ‘Kim Myungsoo and Park Aeri request the pleasure of your company at the celebration of their marriage’.
Woohyun hadn’t even known Myungsoo was dating someone, but somehow this doesn’t feel like a surprise at all - Myungsoo had always been the romantic one, eager to fall in love and live happily ever after.
(He wonders if Sunggyu will be there.)
--------
There are some things that Woohyun remembers much more clearly than others. He remembers the spotlights, remembers them burning into his skin, taking it’s toll on him, etching into him personalities and actions and emotions. He remembers crying on stage with the other members, the fans below promising forever.
Something he remembers from before:
He remembers being once asked what the most memorable moment on stage for him was. Woohyun can’t remember exactly what he said - probably something about the fans - but in reality, the one moment he remembers the most happens during their one great step returns encore concert. It was during ‘Still I Miss You’ (which, even now, is a song he’ll occasionally hum), with the platforms and the spotlights on each of them. And what woohyun remembers is the spotlight fades on him and focuses on Sunggyu, making him shine as bright as a star (and, being almost made of insecurity, can’t help but feel that it is an accurate representation).
---------
It’s not that Infinite broke up - technically, they’re still on hiatus. But it’s a pretty permanent hiatus, seeing as only out of the seven of them are in Korea. Not that Woohyun (or anyone) knows for sure that Sunggyu isn’t in Korea - he could even be in Seoul for all they know. But that’s the thing - none of them know anything. After military service ended Sunggyu disappeared completely, and even when Sungjong finished no one had heard anything from him. So effectively, that was the end of Infinite, and all of them had moved on to new things, and new careers. Myungsoo, Hoya and Sungyeol do a lot more serious acting now, high budget dramas and movies, and Dongwoo and Sungyeol have a radio show that airs every Monday and Thursday. Sungjong does a lot more modelling these days.
Woohyun goes solo, but stops after one comeback. There’s something intimidating about being under the bright lights of a music show alone, giving thank you speeches without the other members around him, Sunggyu grinning at him or Sungyeol’s hands pressed against his back, Dongwoo’s arm slung around his shoulders, and he wonders how Sunggyu did it. Sunggyu had always managed to do things Woohyun can never do, can never accomplish. (and Woohyun sometimes wishes he didn’t love him so much because of that.)
------------
The six of them meet up for dinner. Even after three years, it stills feels a little strange to Woohyun with just the six of them sitting around a table.
“Congratulations on your wedding,” Dongwoo says. “It’s nice to finally see you, Myungsoo! You’ve been so busy planning this wedding we weren’t even sure if you were still alive.”
"Me and Dongwoo hyung spent the time trying to figure out what exactly Myungsoo did to bribe someone like Aeri into marrying him", Hoya chimes in, and he and Dongwoo exchange a high five, snickering.
Myungsoo flushes all the way down to his chest.
"Hyungs,” Myungsoo whines, a pout on his face, “stop teasing me! Especially you, Dongwoo hyung! You’re the oldest at the table, please be more mature!”
Something about the way Myungsoo says it makes Woohyun jolt to a stop, smile falling. He excuses himself to the toilet, where he washes his face and whispers to himself in the mirror “don’t be pathetic”.
When Woohyun is round the corner from the table, he hears something that makes him catch his breath and abruptly stop walking. He’s speaking softly, but he can clearly make out Sungjong’s voice.
“Do you think Sunggyu hyung will be there?”
There’s silence for a while before Myungsoo quietly answers: “I sent him a text. He didn’t reply but I don’t think he would miss it. I really hope he comes - not just because it’s my wedding, but because I want Woohyun hyung to be happy again.”
There’s a soft murmur of agreement among the rest, and Woohyun spends a good five minutes with his back pressed against the wall, taking deep breathes to calm down, before returning to the table.
----
There are multiple Sunggyus that exist in Woohyun's mind, and they all haunt him in different ways.
There’s the Sunggyu from Woohyun’s memories, who calls him a brother but kisses him in the changing room backstage of some music show, and then spends a whole hour crying and whispering sorries; who says ‘but now you’re the one I trust the most’, but the lights are blinding and the camera is rolling and Woohyun’s stomach lurches (because the writer noonas may have written that line but they’ll never know exactly what it means to both of them); who hugs him on stage and nuzzles his nose into Woohyun’s neck, tells Woohyun things like ‘you’re a constant that I know will never change’, and whispers ‘because you’ll always forgive me, no matter what’.
This is the Sunggyu that rips Woohyun’s heart right out of his chest - the Sunggyu can never make up his mind, that tells Woohyun he loves him but then disappears for three years.
This Sunggyu is also the one that appears to Woohyun the most, that haunts Woohyun in every single waking moment with his sad eyes and bitter smiles.
But sometimes, the Sunggyu in his dreams are worse. The Sunggyu in his dreams isn’t afraid to love him, doesn’t need to get drunk to kiss him, doesn’t cry after saying “I love you”. The Sunggyu in his dreams taunts him with sweet words and could-have-beens, that makes waking up, and coming back to reality, infinitely harder.
Sometimes Woohyun will curse at this Sunggyu, and say things like “I hate you, bastard, you’re not even real,” but Sunggyu will just smile that sad smile of his and Woohyun will lose, as always.
It’s a little hard to tell what’s a memory and what’s a dream now, but anyway. It doesn’t make a difference.
---------
The wedding venue is on Jeju island, and Myungsoo has rented a whole row of houses facing the sea for the guests. It’s a relatively small event, with about a hundred guests, but on the day itself there’ll probably be masses of fans waiting outside and reporters as well. Myungsoo has never been very low profile. Woohyun books himself into a flight that will get there a week early, and then spends the next few hours trying to convince himself it's not in case Sunggyu shows up early.
Woohyun gets there before even Myungsoo arrives, so he spends his time lounging around in the villa. He’s really glad he brought his puppy, because there are six rooms in the villa he’s been told to go to and it feels so incredibly empty with just him there. He picks a room with a view of the sea, and then spends the whole afternoon messing around with kkongddeok. It’s not that different from his life in Seoul, actually, because he’s the only one that isn’t really a celebrity anymore, and the others are always busy with schedules.
---------------
Three days later, the rest of the members arrive, in time for Myungsoo’s bachelor party. Myungsoo's probably been in the area for one or two days already, but he’s been so busy with wedding preparations that Woohyun hasn’t seen him at all.
Myungsoo’s party is at his own villa, as Aeri has rented out some restaurant for hers.
As soon as Woohyun steps into the room, there are people knocking into him, shaking his hands. Somehow along the way a drink gets shoved into his hands. There are so many people here - half of them completely unknown to Woohyun, so he shoves his way around in a desperate attempt to find Myungsoo or Hoya or anyone that he knows.
Suddenly, he bumps into someone’s back, and spills his drink all over him and himself. “I’m so sorry!” he says, and starts flailing around a little. “I can help you -“
He’s cut off when the person turns around, and he’s staring into a pair of really familiar, dark eyes.
“Woohyun?” Sunggyu says.
There are a million emotions surging through woohyun, ranging from surprise to anger to hurt, and a million things he could say or do, but what he does do is stutter “I - I have to go clean - clean my - yes ok” and runs off.
-------
Woohyun has a habit of running into closets or other small, dark places when he’s upset. And right now, he really needs to find a closet where he can sit down, cry his eyes out, and then collect his thoughts. So he runs into Myungsoo’s room and throws Myungsoo’s closet door open.
He’s greeted with an extremely strange sight, which his muddled mind finds even harder to process with his current state of emotion. Sungyeol and Sungjong are staring up at him with wide eyes, dressed from head to toe in full suit.
And they’re both also hanging off clothes hangers.
“Shhh hyung! We’re going to prank Myungsoo, go away, he might see you!” Sungyeol scream whispers.
"Wait hyung, are you crying?" Sungjong asks, eyes wide with concern. Woohyun hadn't even realised it, but his cheeks are wet and his breathing is uneven. "What happened? Is everything ok?" Sungjong shrugs off the jacket and steps out of the closet.
“Sungjong ah,” Woohyun says, his voice cracking.
“Yes? What’s wrong?” Sungjong’s voice is full of concern, and somehow that just makes Woohyun feel so stupid - nothing even happened, but he just can’t stop the barrage of tears.
“I saw him. Sunggyu hyung. He’s here.”
Sungjong and Sungyeol don’t say anything, exchanging a look. Sungyeol quickly says “I’ll go get Dongwoo hyung,” and runs out of the room, and Sungjong gives Woohyun a long look, before wrapping his arms around his shoulders.
“I’m sorry” Woohyun sniffles. “I don’t - I don’t even know why I’m crying! I just saw him and the tears suddenly started and I feel so stupid. It’s been a few years already so how am I still not over this? What am I even upset about?”
“It’s alright,” Sungjong says, his arms rubbing circles into Woohyun’s back, and Woohyun is so embarrassed because he’s the hyung but Sungjong is the one comforting him while he sobs into his shirt. “It’s normal to be upset. You don’t have to be pretend - I know what he was to you.”
Woohyun’s breathe hitches in his throat. “You knew?” His voice is muffled, face still pressed into Sungjong’s shirt, but Sungjong must have heard him because he laughs, chest heaving.
“Hyung, I’m pretty sure we all knew. Only a blind man wouldn’t have been able to see what was going on, especially since we were all around each other 24/7. And I’m not sure what happened between you, but I just want all of us are behind you guys, ok?”
Tears are still streaming from Woohyun’s eyes, but he lips curl into a small smile. “Thanks, Jong-ie.”
-------
After Woohyun’s talk with Sungjong, Dongwoo comes to talk to him as well, and Woohyun manages to gather up his courage. He finds Sunggyu on the balcony, leaning against the railing looking at the sea view. Woohyun stands still for a moment, watching Sunggyu’s back - it’s weird how familiar it feels, Sunggyu’s shoulder blades creating ripples on his oversized shirt.
Woohyun steps out onto the balcony, and leans against the railing as well. Sunggyu glances at him, but doesn’t say anything. So they stand there in silence, before Woohyun finally gathers up the courage to talk.
“Where have you been?”
Sunggyu plays with the hem of his shirt, and gives a nonchalant answer. “Just. Around? Travelled the world for a little. I was in Europe when I got the invitation.”
“How did you get it? It’s not like Myungsoo knew where you were.”
“Ah. He sent me a really long text saying he’s getting married, and that I’m dead if I don’t show up.”
Woohyun considers this for a long time. “So you actually read the messages you get,” he says, thinking of the thousands of messages they (woohyun) had sent him. And how Sunggyu never replied to a single one, even the desperate ones Woohyun had sent when he had had a little too much to drink, that went “I miss you” and “I’m sorry” and “Please come back.”
Sunggyu doesn't say anything for a while. When he finally speaks, his voice is soft and gentle. "I'm sorry."
Woohyun wants to laugh, wants to scream at how ridiculous this all is, because how on earth is it fair that sunggyu can disappear for three years then come back and say 'I'm sorry' and Woohyun already wants to forgive him?
Woohyun smiles at Sunggyu, but the skin around his eyes are tight. There are so many things he wants to say, things he wants to ask, but there isn’t anything he can say that won’t come across as too raw, too bitter. And because he also isn't quite ready for the answer, he says 'it's fine hyung. I’ll always forgive you anyway, right? I’m a constant. So it’s fine.”
Sunggyu’s expression changes, and there’s a strange look in his eyes, almost akin to hurt. “Woohyun, that’s- that’s not how I meant it.”
Woohyun pauses for a moment. He’s not sure whether he should laugh or cry. “It doesn’t matter now, hyung. Even if that’s not how you meant, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s true.”
“Woohyun -”
“I’m glad you’re back hyung. Really. But I have to go find Myungsoo now, because it’s his party and I haven’t even seen him yet. So. I guess I’ll see you around.”
Woohyun walks away.
-------
The next morning, Woohyun is really, really, really hungover, but Dongwoo drags him out of bed at 12 to go for lunch with the members. Woohyun has no idea how Dongwoo is so chipper, because he’s pretty sure he had even more to drink last night than Woohyun had.
It’s a little scary how normal lunch feels. Myungsoo complains about how Aeri is still such a huge BTS fan, and Dongwoo makes fun of him, saying “Chill out, Myungsoo! You got no jams,” which prompts Myungsoo to glare at him and whack his shoulder. “Cut it out, hyung. It’s bad enough that Aeri keeps quoting Namjoon.”
“Actually, now that I think about it, wouldn’t Aeri be really cute with Namjoon? They’re both 94-liners,” Sunggyu teases Myungsoo, eyes bright, and everyone bursts into laughter.
Woohyun is the only one who hasn’t said anything. He doesn’t get how everyone else can adapt to Sunggyu being there so quickly, as if the past three years hadn’t even happened.
“Since when was Myungsoo so easy to tease?” Sunggyu asks, voice light. “I thought Jong-ie was the one to pick on.”
“A lot of things change in three years, hyung,” Woohyun says, voice taut. Dongwoo gives him a look, but Woohyun ignores it. “How can you expect things to be the same?”
“Ah. Right, silly me, of course things have changed. Sorry, I wasn’t thinking!” Sunggyu gives a tense smile, and tries to laugh it off.
“Yeah, hyung, you weren’t thinking. Stop pretending that you didn’t just disappear for three years without saying a word to any of us. No matter how much you try, things can’t go back to how they were before.” Woohyun’s not sure what causes this outburst - maybe it’s the raw feelings of hurt - but he regrets it the moment the words are out of his mouth.
“Wait, hyung, I -”
“You’re right,” Sunggyu says. His smile is tight on his face, and his eyes are no longer smiley. “Sorry, I’m not feeling that well. I think I’ll return to my room first. Excuse me.” He stands up so abruptly that his chair nearly falls over, and leaves.
There’s an awkward silence before Hoya breaks it. “Woohyun hyung,” he says, “I know that the relationship you had was different. But all of us were hurt when he left, and we’re all trying. I’m sure he had a good reason for leaving, but you really hurt him.”
“Yeah, Hoya, you’re right. I’m not sure what I was thinking. I’ll fix this.” With that, Woohyun gets up to leave as well.
--------
Sunggyu’s room is on the first floor of the villa the members are all sharing. Woohyun knocks at the door before entering. Sunggyu is sitting on the bed, eyes wide at the sight of Woohyun. His eyes are a little red, and Woohyun can’t help but feel immensely guilty.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that”
Sunggyu laughs a little, and says, “why are you apologising? You were just telling the truth.”
Woohyun fidgets with his hands. “No, I went overboard. I shouldn’t have said any of that.” Sunggyu doesn’t reply, so they Woohyun just stands there for a while, stewing in the silence.
“Hyung,” he finally says, voice soft. “Why did you leave?”
Sunggyu makes a strangled noise, and flops onto his back, but doesn’t reply.
“Was it… Was it because of me? Because of us?”
“Partly,” Sunggyu says. “But I was probably just running away. I couldn’t take it, the constant pressure. And I knew I was being unfair to you. So I thought some time away would make everything better. Looking back, this was probably even more unfair, huh?”
Woohyun isn’t really sure what to say. He already had a rough idea that this would be the reason.
“I know things are different. But one thing hasn’t changed, and that’s how I feel. About us. This is why I came back. I’m going to try and fix this, ok? I’m sorry.”
Woohyun doesn’t say anything - he doesn’t have a reply for that, so he walks towards the bed and sits next to Sunggyu, and gingerly puts his hand on his. They sit there for a long time, without saying anything.
----
Things get a little better after that. Myungsoo’s wedding goes off without a hitch, despite his many worries, and him and Aeri go off to Paris for their honeymoon.
Woohyun enters Sunggyu’s room without knocking. There’s a sea breeze blowing through the room, and the day curtains are billowing in the air. And past the curtains, Sunggyu is standing there, back towards Woohyun. In his white shirt, under the light of the sun, he looks almost ethereal, his shoulder blades sharp like wings. Woohyun has to pinch himself to remind him that this is real.
He walks out to the balcony, and leans against the railing, shoulder brushing against Sunggyu.
“Hyung,” Woohyun says, voice tentative.
“Hmm?” Sunggyu isn’t looking at Woohyun, his eyes fixed towards the view.
“After we leave Jeju, what are you planning to do?”
Sunggyu considers this for a moment, and then says, “I’m not sure yet. But I think I’ll probably hang around Seoul for a while. There’s someone whom I owe a lot of time to, and I think it might take a while to pay back my debt.” He turns his gaze to Woohyun, eyes bright. “Don’t you think?”
Woohyun smiles. “Eung. I think it’ll probably take a long, long time.”
Pairing(s): Woohyun/Sunggyu
Rating: PG-13
Length: 3357
Summary: it’s been three years since woohyun has last seen sunggyu
Prompts:
1. Quote: “You got no jams.”
2. Image: image
3. Song: mv/lyrics
The wedding invitation comes in the mailbox on a Saturday. Woohyun wakes up to a text from Myungsoo saying ‘Hyung, check your mailbox’ (not that he wouldn’t, because even though the others all call him a hermit boy or hermit hyung, he still religiously checks his mailbox everyday because one time two years back Sunggyu sent him a postcard), and when he does there’s a white envelope tied with a pale gold ribbon with the words NAM WOOHYUN printed in stark black letters. The card inside is stiff with glossy words that say ‘Kim Myungsoo and Park Aeri request the pleasure of your company at the celebration of their marriage’.
Woohyun hadn’t even known Myungsoo was dating someone, but somehow this doesn’t feel like a surprise at all - Myungsoo had always been the romantic one, eager to fall in love and live happily ever after.
(He wonders if Sunggyu will be there.)
--------
There are some things that Woohyun remembers much more clearly than others. He remembers the spotlights, remembers them burning into his skin, taking it’s toll on him, etching into him personalities and actions and emotions. He remembers crying on stage with the other members, the fans below promising forever.
Something he remembers from before:
He remembers being once asked what the most memorable moment on stage for him was. Woohyun can’t remember exactly what he said - probably something about the fans - but in reality, the one moment he remembers the most happens during their one great step returns encore concert. It was during ‘Still I Miss You’ (which, even now, is a song he’ll occasionally hum), with the platforms and the spotlights on each of them. And what woohyun remembers is the spotlight fades on him and focuses on Sunggyu, making him shine as bright as a star (and, being almost made of insecurity, can’t help but feel that it is an accurate representation).
---------
It’s not that Infinite broke up - technically, they’re still on hiatus. But it’s a pretty permanent hiatus, seeing as only out of the seven of them are in Korea. Not that Woohyun (or anyone) knows for sure that Sunggyu isn’t in Korea - he could even be in Seoul for all they know. But that’s the thing - none of them know anything. After military service ended Sunggyu disappeared completely, and even when Sungjong finished no one had heard anything from him. So effectively, that was the end of Infinite, and all of them had moved on to new things, and new careers. Myungsoo, Hoya and Sungyeol do a lot more serious acting now, high budget dramas and movies, and Dongwoo and Sungyeol have a radio show that airs every Monday and Thursday. Sungjong does a lot more modelling these days.
Woohyun goes solo, but stops after one comeback. There’s something intimidating about being under the bright lights of a music show alone, giving thank you speeches without the other members around him, Sunggyu grinning at him or Sungyeol’s hands pressed against his back, Dongwoo’s arm slung around his shoulders, and he wonders how Sunggyu did it. Sunggyu had always managed to do things Woohyun can never do, can never accomplish. (and Woohyun sometimes wishes he didn’t love him so much because of that.)
------------
The six of them meet up for dinner. Even after three years, it stills feels a little strange to Woohyun with just the six of them sitting around a table.
“Congratulations on your wedding,” Dongwoo says. “It’s nice to finally see you, Myungsoo! You’ve been so busy planning this wedding we weren’t even sure if you were still alive.”
"Me and Dongwoo hyung spent the time trying to figure out what exactly Myungsoo did to bribe someone like Aeri into marrying him", Hoya chimes in, and he and Dongwoo exchange a high five, snickering.
Myungsoo flushes all the way down to his chest.
"Hyungs,” Myungsoo whines, a pout on his face, “stop teasing me! Especially you, Dongwoo hyung! You’re the oldest at the table, please be more mature!”
Something about the way Myungsoo says it makes Woohyun jolt to a stop, smile falling. He excuses himself to the toilet, where he washes his face and whispers to himself in the mirror “don’t be pathetic”.
When Woohyun is round the corner from the table, he hears something that makes him catch his breath and abruptly stop walking. He’s speaking softly, but he can clearly make out Sungjong’s voice.
“Do you think Sunggyu hyung will be there?”
There’s silence for a while before Myungsoo quietly answers: “I sent him a text. He didn’t reply but I don’t think he would miss it. I really hope he comes - not just because it’s my wedding, but because I want Woohyun hyung to be happy again.”
There’s a soft murmur of agreement among the rest, and Woohyun spends a good five minutes with his back pressed against the wall, taking deep breathes to calm down, before returning to the table.
----
There are multiple Sunggyus that exist in Woohyun's mind, and they all haunt him in different ways.
There’s the Sunggyu from Woohyun’s memories, who calls him a brother but kisses him in the changing room backstage of some music show, and then spends a whole hour crying and whispering sorries; who says ‘but now you’re the one I trust the most’, but the lights are blinding and the camera is rolling and Woohyun’s stomach lurches (because the writer noonas may have written that line but they’ll never know exactly what it means to both of them); who hugs him on stage and nuzzles his nose into Woohyun’s neck, tells Woohyun things like ‘you’re a constant that I know will never change’, and whispers ‘because you’ll always forgive me, no matter what’.
This is the Sunggyu that rips Woohyun’s heart right out of his chest - the Sunggyu can never make up his mind, that tells Woohyun he loves him but then disappears for three years.
This Sunggyu is also the one that appears to Woohyun the most, that haunts Woohyun in every single waking moment with his sad eyes and bitter smiles.
But sometimes, the Sunggyu in his dreams are worse. The Sunggyu in his dreams isn’t afraid to love him, doesn’t need to get drunk to kiss him, doesn’t cry after saying “I love you”. The Sunggyu in his dreams taunts him with sweet words and could-have-beens, that makes waking up, and coming back to reality, infinitely harder.
Sometimes Woohyun will curse at this Sunggyu, and say things like “I hate you, bastard, you’re not even real,” but Sunggyu will just smile that sad smile of his and Woohyun will lose, as always.
It’s a little hard to tell what’s a memory and what’s a dream now, but anyway. It doesn’t make a difference.
---------
The wedding venue is on Jeju island, and Myungsoo has rented a whole row of houses facing the sea for the guests. It’s a relatively small event, with about a hundred guests, but on the day itself there’ll probably be masses of fans waiting outside and reporters as well. Myungsoo has never been very low profile. Woohyun books himself into a flight that will get there a week early, and then spends the next few hours trying to convince himself it's not in case Sunggyu shows up early.
Woohyun gets there before even Myungsoo arrives, so he spends his time lounging around in the villa. He’s really glad he brought his puppy, because there are six rooms in the villa he’s been told to go to and it feels so incredibly empty with just him there. He picks a room with a view of the sea, and then spends the whole afternoon messing around with kkongddeok. It’s not that different from his life in Seoul, actually, because he’s the only one that isn’t really a celebrity anymore, and the others are always busy with schedules.
---------------
Three days later, the rest of the members arrive, in time for Myungsoo’s bachelor party. Myungsoo's probably been in the area for one or two days already, but he’s been so busy with wedding preparations that Woohyun hasn’t seen him at all.
Myungsoo’s party is at his own villa, as Aeri has rented out some restaurant for hers.
As soon as Woohyun steps into the room, there are people knocking into him, shaking his hands. Somehow along the way a drink gets shoved into his hands. There are so many people here - half of them completely unknown to Woohyun, so he shoves his way around in a desperate attempt to find Myungsoo or Hoya or anyone that he knows.
Suddenly, he bumps into someone’s back, and spills his drink all over him and himself. “I’m so sorry!” he says, and starts flailing around a little. “I can help you -“
He’s cut off when the person turns around, and he’s staring into a pair of really familiar, dark eyes.
“Woohyun?” Sunggyu says.
There are a million emotions surging through woohyun, ranging from surprise to anger to hurt, and a million things he could say or do, but what he does do is stutter “I - I have to go clean - clean my - yes ok” and runs off.
-------
Woohyun has a habit of running into closets or other small, dark places when he’s upset. And right now, he really needs to find a closet where he can sit down, cry his eyes out, and then collect his thoughts. So he runs into Myungsoo’s room and throws Myungsoo’s closet door open.
He’s greeted with an extremely strange sight, which his muddled mind finds even harder to process with his current state of emotion. Sungyeol and Sungjong are staring up at him with wide eyes, dressed from head to toe in full suit.
And they’re both also hanging off clothes hangers.
“Shhh hyung! We’re going to prank Myungsoo, go away, he might see you!” Sungyeol scream whispers.
"Wait hyung, are you crying?" Sungjong asks, eyes wide with concern. Woohyun hadn't even realised it, but his cheeks are wet and his breathing is uneven. "What happened? Is everything ok?" Sungjong shrugs off the jacket and steps out of the closet.
“Sungjong ah,” Woohyun says, his voice cracking.
“Yes? What’s wrong?” Sungjong’s voice is full of concern, and somehow that just makes Woohyun feel so stupid - nothing even happened, but he just can’t stop the barrage of tears.
“I saw him. Sunggyu hyung. He’s here.”
Sungjong and Sungyeol don’t say anything, exchanging a look. Sungyeol quickly says “I’ll go get Dongwoo hyung,” and runs out of the room, and Sungjong gives Woohyun a long look, before wrapping his arms around his shoulders.
“I’m sorry” Woohyun sniffles. “I don’t - I don’t even know why I’m crying! I just saw him and the tears suddenly started and I feel so stupid. It’s been a few years already so how am I still not over this? What am I even upset about?”
“It’s alright,” Sungjong says, his arms rubbing circles into Woohyun’s back, and Woohyun is so embarrassed because he’s the hyung but Sungjong is the one comforting him while he sobs into his shirt. “It’s normal to be upset. You don’t have to be pretend - I know what he was to you.”
Woohyun’s breathe hitches in his throat. “You knew?” His voice is muffled, face still pressed into Sungjong’s shirt, but Sungjong must have heard him because he laughs, chest heaving.
“Hyung, I’m pretty sure we all knew. Only a blind man wouldn’t have been able to see what was going on, especially since we were all around each other 24/7. And I’m not sure what happened between you, but I just want all of us are behind you guys, ok?”
Tears are still streaming from Woohyun’s eyes, but he lips curl into a small smile. “Thanks, Jong-ie.”
-------
After Woohyun’s talk with Sungjong, Dongwoo comes to talk to him as well, and Woohyun manages to gather up his courage. He finds Sunggyu on the balcony, leaning against the railing looking at the sea view. Woohyun stands still for a moment, watching Sunggyu’s back - it’s weird how familiar it feels, Sunggyu’s shoulder blades creating ripples on his oversized shirt.
Woohyun steps out onto the balcony, and leans against the railing as well. Sunggyu glances at him, but doesn’t say anything. So they stand there in silence, before Woohyun finally gathers up the courage to talk.
“Where have you been?”
Sunggyu plays with the hem of his shirt, and gives a nonchalant answer. “Just. Around? Travelled the world for a little. I was in Europe when I got the invitation.”
“How did you get it? It’s not like Myungsoo knew where you were.”
“Ah. He sent me a really long text saying he’s getting married, and that I’m dead if I don’t show up.”
Woohyun considers this for a long time. “So you actually read the messages you get,” he says, thinking of the thousands of messages they (woohyun) had sent him. And how Sunggyu never replied to a single one, even the desperate ones Woohyun had sent when he had had a little too much to drink, that went “I miss you” and “I’m sorry” and “Please come back.”
Sunggyu doesn't say anything for a while. When he finally speaks, his voice is soft and gentle. "I'm sorry."
Woohyun wants to laugh, wants to scream at how ridiculous this all is, because how on earth is it fair that sunggyu can disappear for three years then come back and say 'I'm sorry' and Woohyun already wants to forgive him?
Woohyun smiles at Sunggyu, but the skin around his eyes are tight. There are so many things he wants to say, things he wants to ask, but there isn’t anything he can say that won’t come across as too raw, too bitter. And because he also isn't quite ready for the answer, he says 'it's fine hyung. I’ll always forgive you anyway, right? I’m a constant. So it’s fine.”
Sunggyu’s expression changes, and there’s a strange look in his eyes, almost akin to hurt. “Woohyun, that’s- that’s not how I meant it.”
Woohyun pauses for a moment. He’s not sure whether he should laugh or cry. “It doesn’t matter now, hyung. Even if that’s not how you meant, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s true.”
“Woohyun -”
“I’m glad you’re back hyung. Really. But I have to go find Myungsoo now, because it’s his party and I haven’t even seen him yet. So. I guess I’ll see you around.”
Woohyun walks away.
-------
The next morning, Woohyun is really, really, really hungover, but Dongwoo drags him out of bed at 12 to go for lunch with the members. Woohyun has no idea how Dongwoo is so chipper, because he’s pretty sure he had even more to drink last night than Woohyun had.
It’s a little scary how normal lunch feels. Myungsoo complains about how Aeri is still such a huge BTS fan, and Dongwoo makes fun of him, saying “Chill out, Myungsoo! You got no jams,” which prompts Myungsoo to glare at him and whack his shoulder. “Cut it out, hyung. It’s bad enough that Aeri keeps quoting Namjoon.”
“Actually, now that I think about it, wouldn’t Aeri be really cute with Namjoon? They’re both 94-liners,” Sunggyu teases Myungsoo, eyes bright, and everyone bursts into laughter.
Woohyun is the only one who hasn’t said anything. He doesn’t get how everyone else can adapt to Sunggyu being there so quickly, as if the past three years hadn’t even happened.
“Since when was Myungsoo so easy to tease?” Sunggyu asks, voice light. “I thought Jong-ie was the one to pick on.”
“A lot of things change in three years, hyung,” Woohyun says, voice taut. Dongwoo gives him a look, but Woohyun ignores it. “How can you expect things to be the same?”
“Ah. Right, silly me, of course things have changed. Sorry, I wasn’t thinking!” Sunggyu gives a tense smile, and tries to laugh it off.
“Yeah, hyung, you weren’t thinking. Stop pretending that you didn’t just disappear for three years without saying a word to any of us. No matter how much you try, things can’t go back to how they were before.” Woohyun’s not sure what causes this outburst - maybe it’s the raw feelings of hurt - but he regrets it the moment the words are out of his mouth.
“Wait, hyung, I -”
“You’re right,” Sunggyu says. His smile is tight on his face, and his eyes are no longer smiley. “Sorry, I’m not feeling that well. I think I’ll return to my room first. Excuse me.” He stands up so abruptly that his chair nearly falls over, and leaves.
There’s an awkward silence before Hoya breaks it. “Woohyun hyung,” he says, “I know that the relationship you had was different. But all of us were hurt when he left, and we’re all trying. I’m sure he had a good reason for leaving, but you really hurt him.”
“Yeah, Hoya, you’re right. I’m not sure what I was thinking. I’ll fix this.” With that, Woohyun gets up to leave as well.
--------
Sunggyu’s room is on the first floor of the villa the members are all sharing. Woohyun knocks at the door before entering. Sunggyu is sitting on the bed, eyes wide at the sight of Woohyun. His eyes are a little red, and Woohyun can’t help but feel immensely guilty.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that”
Sunggyu laughs a little, and says, “why are you apologising? You were just telling the truth.”
Woohyun fidgets with his hands. “No, I went overboard. I shouldn’t have said any of that.” Sunggyu doesn’t reply, so they Woohyun just stands there for a while, stewing in the silence.
“Hyung,” he finally says, voice soft. “Why did you leave?”
Sunggyu makes a strangled noise, and flops onto his back, but doesn’t reply.
“Was it… Was it because of me? Because of us?”
“Partly,” Sunggyu says. “But I was probably just running away. I couldn’t take it, the constant pressure. And I knew I was being unfair to you. So I thought some time away would make everything better. Looking back, this was probably even more unfair, huh?”
Woohyun isn’t really sure what to say. He already had a rough idea that this would be the reason.
“I know things are different. But one thing hasn’t changed, and that’s how I feel. About us. This is why I came back. I’m going to try and fix this, ok? I’m sorry.”
Woohyun doesn’t say anything - he doesn’t have a reply for that, so he walks towards the bed and sits next to Sunggyu, and gingerly puts his hand on his. They sit there for a long time, without saying anything.
----
Things get a little better after that. Myungsoo’s wedding goes off without a hitch, despite his many worries, and him and Aeri go off to Paris for their honeymoon.
Woohyun enters Sunggyu’s room without knocking. There’s a sea breeze blowing through the room, and the day curtains are billowing in the air. And past the curtains, Sunggyu is standing there, back towards Woohyun. In his white shirt, under the light of the sun, he looks almost ethereal, his shoulder blades sharp like wings. Woohyun has to pinch himself to remind him that this is real.
He walks out to the balcony, and leans against the railing, shoulder brushing against Sunggyu.
“Hyung,” Woohyun says, voice tentative.
“Hmm?” Sunggyu isn’t looking at Woohyun, his eyes fixed towards the view.
“After we leave Jeju, what are you planning to do?”
Sunggyu considers this for a moment, and then says, “I’m not sure yet. But I think I’ll probably hang around Seoul for a while. There’s someone whom I owe a lot of time to, and I think it might take a while to pay back my debt.” He turns his gaze to Woohyun, eyes bright. “Don’t you think?”
Woohyun smiles. “Eung. I think it’ll probably take a long, long time.”