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[seasrundry]

I know suicide hurts others and affects many people around the victim. But how can one sit in their own self-hate and misery day after day. It becomes too much to take. They say suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. It seems to me that suicide is a final solution for a relentless and increasingly painful problem. I want to die

Comments

[vampirana]

I can completely relate dear. I've also been feeling suicidal lately and I know what a hell it can be to have to deal with depression, anxiety, eating disorder etc and also being expected to function normally in society. A lot of people don't understand and even those that care can't really comprehend it unless they've been in the same situation. It really sucks. Please stay strong and keep fighting, don't lose hope. I am here whenever you want to talk!

[seasrundry]

Thanks for being here. This is a really difficult thing to go through and I'm sorry that you're suffering too. :/ I hope you stay strong as well. If you ever need to talk I'm here for you too! :)

[myfriendgoo94]

I can relate to this completely, but I'm honestly caught in the middle of the subject. I don't know if you've ever read anything of my journal, but last year my boyfriend killed himself because (not solely, but triggering) I had a fit and broke up with him (you know, one of those 2 day beak-ups?) and...all I can think about from that day on is every single goddamn way I could have prevented it. I'm not the only one. I know his mother, friends he didn't believe he had, his sister..we all think about it. All the things we could have done differently and all the ways we were willing to do anything for him. You know? I'm sure there are people who you love this much. I mean.. I don't know. I feel so hypocritical for saying this, but I see it both ways. I myself have tried to kill myself before, a few years ago. I can't say I've ever really gotten better, but I understand now the pain it would have caused my mother, and others in my life. I'm not sure where I stand now a days, because it's not easy..and I'm with you in the depression/

[myfriendgoo94]

PS. also didn't mean to come off as any PSA ha...but um, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm around.

[seasrundry]

Ahh.... Thank you so much for this comment. I do read your journal but I never fully understood what happened to your boyfriend or the circumstances around it. Life is so hard but it's even worse when you lose someone you love. I feel like I am suffering every day but I will keep suffering through for the ones that care about me and for my future self (who will hopefully appreciate me trying to stay alive). I have to keep reminding myself that even though these debilitating ailments won't simply "go away", I can have happy moments in my life despite them. I hope you're taking care of yourself as well. I really could use someone to talk to at times. I think I gave you my number once before. You should text me if you still have it. :)

[myfriendgoo94]

Yeah, I know my entries are amibiguous to say the least, haha. but thank you<3
here's my number 352-620-5929..text me! i know you've given me your number but I can't remember where. I'm usually shy about internet interactions. also heres my screen name for AIM- i dunno if you use it..but I'm on like all the time there...sinQthepartyline. but yeah.. I'm still trying to figure out a way around the debilitating ailments. i'll let you know when I find something solid.

peace<3