Gains and Losses- Chapter 8: "Home" (Havoc)
This is the eighth chapter of the arc called "Gains and Losses". It is Havoc-centric. It is set in the mangaverse, so if you don't know what happens to Havoc around Chapter 38, then read it before you start this fic.
Title: Home
Author: SeaweedOtter
Beta: The 8th wonder of the world, havocmangawip
Characters: Mostly Jean Havoc, but the most of the rest of the gang appears.
Rating: G- PG
Disclaimer: Manga Spoilers... Set in the manga, a couple years after the end of chapter 38. Maybe AU?
Summary: Home is where you hang your hat...
Read all the chapters so far HERE!
When he opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was that the clock read 10:35 A.M., he panicked -- his mind raced. He was late for breakfast and morning practice, and Ross was going to kill him! Why hadn't anyone woken him up? He never closed his door all the way, just in case there was some sort of emergency and someone needed to get in.
It took a few moments of sheer panic before his brain caught up with his heart and he remembered that it was his birthday. He guessed that they'd let him sleep in. He let out a deep yawn and stretched, then got up and transferred to his chair, completing the necessities and taking a quick shower before rolling out into the living room.
"Hello all," he said to a table full of family and friends who had been snacking on some fresh fruit.
"Happy birthday, Jean!" was the almost uniform response. He couldn't hide the broad smile on his face.
"So, what kind of wonderful things do we have planned today?"
"Well,” his mother replied, "We figured you could take us around town; show us the big city, since we haven't been here in many years, since before you were born. I am sure you can find some fun things to do on your birthday in Central."
"Hmmm..." Havoc stroked his chin as he flashed a dangerous smile.
_____________________________________________________________________________
A few hours and quite a few cens later, Havoc, his mother and father, Ross -- who had joined them a bit later, and Janet and Heymans had stopped at a cafe. Almost everyone was loaded down with bags from various boutiques.
"That isn't fair, Jean. You can carry those in your lap, and we have to lug ours around!" Breda complained, weighted down with both his and his wife's packages.
"Hey, I didn't ask you to be chivalrous and carry Janet's bags. I didn't know she was such an avid shopper. Come here, and I will cut your legs off, then you can have a chair like mine!" He started rolling quickly towards Breda, who took off at a run, yelling at the top of his voice, like he had just seen a dog.
The both came back a few minutes later, out of breath. Havoc suspiciously had more packages, and Breda's hands were empty, a big smile on his sweating face. Breda was panting from sheer exhaustion, but he seemed to love every second of it.
When they had settled down with some big glasses of water a few minutes later, Ross leaned over to Havoc, whispering in his ear, "Hey, Jean. Can I talk to you for a moment, please?"
"Sure, what is up?"
"Well, let's go outside for a moment," she said as she got up and stood behind him, starting to wheel him backwards. "Excuse us. I am going to take Jean out for a cigarette." She got a few curious looks, since he was perfectly capable of moving himself, but no one said anything and they went out the front door.
Havoc did take the opportunity to light up, making sure to situate himself downwind from Ross -- who disliked the smell of cigarette smoke. "So, to what do I owe the honor of your company, fair maiden?" he asked and then bowed the best he could in his chair, sweeping an arm low. He almost missed the little blush that came to her cheeks.
"Well, I was talking to Heymans and Janet yesterday. They were telling me how you were going to need a place to stay, either a temporary one until an apartment is found or a permanent one, if you can find one that is... well... accessible."
Havoc let out a smoke-filled breath and tried unsuccessfully to hide a sigh behind it, but she caught it.
"My apartment is smaller than their house but, it is on the first floor and there is a ramp to the side of the steps. As long as you can get over the little bump in the doorway everything else should be fine. Since I am on the first floor, the doorways and such are a little wider. We can visit my place soon and find out for sure, but I don't think there will be a problem for you to maneuver around. One bathroom is larger than the other. It isn't huge, but I think you can get into it. We can go ahead and put in a little shower bench and railing. The landlord said it wouldn't be a problem."
"You have thought of everything, haven't you?" Havoc smiled softly, quite humbled by the thought and effort she’d put into it.
"I think so. If you want to live there for a while, I wouldn't mind. I am sure that finding an apartment that will be perfect for you will take a long time. There just aren't that many. This way, you won’t be pressured into finding something in a short time frame."
"I... I don't know what to say. It is such a generous offer," Havoc said and then nervously sucked at the filter of his cigarette.
"You can say yes," she replied, blushing redder as she smiled.
He was happy his knees didn't work already or else he was pretty sure that he wouldn't have been able to stand. That smile just melted any unhappiness right out of him. He wanted to see that smile all the time. It made him feel -- alive.
"Well, how can I resist that smile?" He said, slightly awkwardly.
"Great!" She leaned down to give him a little hug, startling him and making him drop his cigarette. Thankfully it bounced off his armrest and fell to the ground. He was glad she couldn't see how red his cheeks were.
_______________________________________________________________________________
They went back into the restaurant, big smiles on their faces, chatting about some of the goings on in Central. Despite living in town, she had little time to visit Central Command, and since she was no longer an officer it was hard to get an excuse to visit her former fellow soldiers.
“...Mustang, he looks totally pathetic, like a wet kitten! He has, like ten times more paperwork that he needs to do and there are bullet holes in the wall where Hawkeye has shot at him to wake him up when he was caught napping at his desk!" Ross laughed hard, holding her side with one hand as she tried to steer Havoc back with the other, listening intently to his story.
"That sounds like the Chief!" Breda chuckled.
"Well, good news all. It sounds like I will have another place to stay for a while, until I can get back on my own two feet," he announced and faced a wall of blank stares.
He smiled, holding his hands up in surrender, and exclaimed, "No, no, no! It was a joke, people! Man, you guys are uptight. If I can't laugh at myself, no one else can." There were a few sighs of relief.
"I am going to be staying with Maria for a little bit. Just as a friend, so don't get any ideas!" He flashed a look to his parents, who looked positively awestruck. "She has an extra bedroom she uses for storage right now. She says that the doors and one bathroom should be big enough for all of me, since my ass is a lot wider now," he said as he slapped the side of his wheelchair.
"That is great to hear, dear. I am sure that the Bredas are happy to hear that as well," his mother replied.
"Actually, Mrs. Havoc, it was my idea to ask her!" Breda replied.
"I already told you, call me Ma."
"Yes, Ma," Heymans replied dutifully.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Both Janet and Havoc were quickly running out of energy, and soon after they headed back for the Breda household. Ross excused herself, saying that she had another patient that she had to meet with soon.
Havoc had seen the looks that his parents had been shooting each other since the he and Ross had come back from outside. He thought their smiles were going to envelop their whole heads. He sighed, knowing what was coming, but he just had to know.
"Ma, Pop, what are you thinking about?" he asked hesitantly.
"It’s just that you and that Ms. Ross seem so nice together. She seems to like you, son."
"I am sure she does, Ma. We were soldiers together until we started to have that trouble with the former Fuhrer, Bradley. She... had to leave town for a while. So I was very surprised when she came back and Master Xao actually recommended her, not knowing that we had known each other before. What a small world, eh?"
"I guess so," his father said and then chuckled.
"But it is just professional, guys. She may have a boyfriend for all I know. In the sessions, we don't really talk about our personal lives much."
"She doesn't have a ring, so she isn't married yet..."
"MA!"
_______________________________________________________________________________
Unfortunately for Havoc, his parents had to leave that night. He and Breda saw them off at the train station, and he did his best not to cry, though his throat closed up and his chest felt like someone was sitting on it.
"Son, remember, call us any time. It isn't a very long train ride, and if there are any problems we can be back here soon. Write us!" As the train was pulling away, he couldn't hold back any more, and he put his head in his hands, trying to hide his red eyes. Breda gave him a few minutes, making an excuse about having to use the restroom, and then he silently wheeled his best friend back to the car to head home.
_____________________________________________________________________________
The next day found Havoc in less than a good mood, still missing his parents and not looking forward to how excruciating therapy was going to be -- not to mention having to go back to work. Ross found him like she usually did, already in his workout clothes, which consisted of a dingy gray t-shirt and long shorts in which he tried to conceal as much of his now much skinnier legs as he could. He was idly lifting his dumbbells, which she noticed that had gone up slightly in weight.
"Good for you!" She beamed with a big smile. "You are definitely getting stronger already!" He gave her a weak smile and put the dumbbells down. "So, let's get to the workout first, and then I want to try the acupuncture for a little longer this time, alright?" He nodded, and they got to work.
The first exercise was Ross moving his leg muscles up and back, holding them steady while they hovered in place. The muscles didn't seem to be losing mass anymore, but it didn't seem to be coming back yet either. She wanted to work those muscles a bit harder, in the hope that they could be build back up over time.
Havoc was surprised how much of a sweat he worked up over muscles that he couldn't feel, even though his lower back started to ache. He didn't complain, and Ross was surprised when he lasted for as long as he did.
After the leg exercises she had him work on his arms and upper body strength. He used two chairs that had been weighted down with a large pile of books and pulled into a standing position, then back down, in a kind of modified pull up. He was able to do more than he had before, and he was even able to hold himself up for a minute or so before his arms shook and he had to lower himself back to his chair.
"Alright, I think that is enough for now," Ross said after a few more rounds of exercises that worked the muscles in his chest, abdomen, and upper arms. Havoc let out a deep breath, and used the last bit of his energy to pull himself back up into his chair and roll outside for a quick smoke before the last part of the therapy.
When he came back, he was feeling much more relaxed, even though his muscles were screaming for a long hot bath followed by an even longer bath. He got back onto the floor and took off his shirt again, closing his eyes. Even after several weeks of acupuncture, it was still too tough for him to watch the needles going into his skin. It still reminded him of that night and brought back flashes of memories that were burned into his brain.
He felt the first couple of needles go in and his muscles relaxed. His eyes rolled back under his shut eyelids and his mind started to wander. At first, he just saw light colors fading in and out of his view. The colors melded together, then became flesh and skin, and formed into a woman, a beautiful woman with dark brown hair and deep blue eyes. His breath hitched for a second and he tensed up again. He tried to think about something else, but she kept coming back into his mind. Somewhere deep in his head, he knew he could open his eyes, but his body didn't want to respond.
"Havoc...” he heard a voice, but it sounded far away, hollow. "Jean...” He heard and he was finally able to open his eyes. Ross was looking right at him, shock written on her face.
A moment of panic went through him. Was he bleeding somewhere? Had something happened where he couldn't feel it? He looked at his chest, it was fine. One arm was okay, and the other. He looked down to his stomach. There was no problem there.
Then, he saw it.
"Oh... umm... Maria... I am sorry... I... didn't even know if it would work or not. I didn't even know it could. I haven't tried... anything," he stammered, trying to find words, but seemingly only making it worse. He turned a deep shade of pink and leaned over, trying to get to his shirt that he had tossed to the side to cover up his legs, but he stretched too far, overbalanced. He fell sideways, scraping his face against the carpet leaving hot, red carpet burns on the side of his face. He was pretty sure that a bruise was going to form soon.
"Jean, are you alright?" Ross asked as she leaned down to help him up, blushing as badly as he was. "It is okay, really. I don't know what brought it on, but it is alright. It happens. It may be a good sign that there is better blood flow to the area." She gently rubbed his cheek, where it was red and ugly. He hissed through tightly clenched teeth and pulled back, torn between wanting to feel her touch and shying away from the pain.
"I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, my mind was wandering and I was thinking about things, and I guess it just happened. Hell, I didn't even know it could still stand at attention like that... I am sorry!"
She smiled and handed him his t-shirt and then said, "I think maybe we ought to call it a day, Jean. I apologize. Let me just pull the needles out of your feet and I will go. I hadn't gotten very many in yet, anyways."
Oh great. Havoc thought. I finally found a girl that I like and for the first time since all of this, I thought the feeling might be mutual -- she may have actually liked me. I just went and ruined it, good job!
Title: Home
Author: SeaweedOtter
Beta: The 8th wonder of the world, havocmangawip
Characters: Mostly Jean Havoc, but the most of the rest of the gang appears.
Rating: G- PG
Disclaimer: Manga Spoilers... Set in the manga, a couple years after the end of chapter 38. Maybe AU?
Summary: Home is where you hang your hat...
Read all the chapters so far HERE!
When he opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was that the clock read 10:35 A.M., he panicked -- his mind raced. He was late for breakfast and morning practice, and Ross was going to kill him! Why hadn't anyone woken him up? He never closed his door all the way, just in case there was some sort of emergency and someone needed to get in.
It took a few moments of sheer panic before his brain caught up with his heart and he remembered that it was his birthday. He guessed that they'd let him sleep in. He let out a deep yawn and stretched, then got up and transferred to his chair, completing the necessities and taking a quick shower before rolling out into the living room.
"Hello all," he said to a table full of family and friends who had been snacking on some fresh fruit.
"Happy birthday, Jean!" was the almost uniform response. He couldn't hide the broad smile on his face.
"So, what kind of wonderful things do we have planned today?"
"Well,” his mother replied, "We figured you could take us around town; show us the big city, since we haven't been here in many years, since before you were born. I am sure you can find some fun things to do on your birthday in Central."
"Hmmm..." Havoc stroked his chin as he flashed a dangerous smile.
_____________________________________________________________________________
A few hours and quite a few cens later, Havoc, his mother and father, Ross -- who had joined them a bit later, and Janet and Heymans had stopped at a cafe. Almost everyone was loaded down with bags from various boutiques.
"That isn't fair, Jean. You can carry those in your lap, and we have to lug ours around!" Breda complained, weighted down with both his and his wife's packages.
"Hey, I didn't ask you to be chivalrous and carry Janet's bags. I didn't know she was such an avid shopper. Come here, and I will cut your legs off, then you can have a chair like mine!" He started rolling quickly towards Breda, who took off at a run, yelling at the top of his voice, like he had just seen a dog.
The both came back a few minutes later, out of breath. Havoc suspiciously had more packages, and Breda's hands were empty, a big smile on his sweating face. Breda was panting from sheer exhaustion, but he seemed to love every second of it.
When they had settled down with some big glasses of water a few minutes later, Ross leaned over to Havoc, whispering in his ear, "Hey, Jean. Can I talk to you for a moment, please?"
"Sure, what is up?"
"Well, let's go outside for a moment," she said as she got up and stood behind him, starting to wheel him backwards. "Excuse us. I am going to take Jean out for a cigarette." She got a few curious looks, since he was perfectly capable of moving himself, but no one said anything and they went out the front door.
Havoc did take the opportunity to light up, making sure to situate himself downwind from Ross -- who disliked the smell of cigarette smoke. "So, to what do I owe the honor of your company, fair maiden?" he asked and then bowed the best he could in his chair, sweeping an arm low. He almost missed the little blush that came to her cheeks.
"Well, I was talking to Heymans and Janet yesterday. They were telling me how you were going to need a place to stay, either a temporary one until an apartment is found or a permanent one, if you can find one that is... well... accessible."
Havoc let out a smoke-filled breath and tried unsuccessfully to hide a sigh behind it, but she caught it.
"My apartment is smaller than their house but, it is on the first floor and there is a ramp to the side of the steps. As long as you can get over the little bump in the doorway everything else should be fine. Since I am on the first floor, the doorways and such are a little wider. We can visit my place soon and find out for sure, but I don't think there will be a problem for you to maneuver around. One bathroom is larger than the other. It isn't huge, but I think you can get into it. We can go ahead and put in a little shower bench and railing. The landlord said it wouldn't be a problem."
"You have thought of everything, haven't you?" Havoc smiled softly, quite humbled by the thought and effort she’d put into it.
"I think so. If you want to live there for a while, I wouldn't mind. I am sure that finding an apartment that will be perfect for you will take a long time. There just aren't that many. This way, you won’t be pressured into finding something in a short time frame."
"I... I don't know what to say. It is such a generous offer," Havoc said and then nervously sucked at the filter of his cigarette.
"You can say yes," she replied, blushing redder as she smiled.
He was happy his knees didn't work already or else he was pretty sure that he wouldn't have been able to stand. That smile just melted any unhappiness right out of him. He wanted to see that smile all the time. It made him feel -- alive.
"Well, how can I resist that smile?" He said, slightly awkwardly.
"Great!" She leaned down to give him a little hug, startling him and making him drop his cigarette. Thankfully it bounced off his armrest and fell to the ground. He was glad she couldn't see how red his cheeks were.
_______________________________________________________________________________
They went back into the restaurant, big smiles on their faces, chatting about some of the goings on in Central. Despite living in town, she had little time to visit Central Command, and since she was no longer an officer it was hard to get an excuse to visit her former fellow soldiers.
“...Mustang, he looks totally pathetic, like a wet kitten! He has, like ten times more paperwork that he needs to do and there are bullet holes in the wall where Hawkeye has shot at him to wake him up when he was caught napping at his desk!" Ross laughed hard, holding her side with one hand as she tried to steer Havoc back with the other, listening intently to his story.
"That sounds like the Chief!" Breda chuckled.
"Well, good news all. It sounds like I will have another place to stay for a while, until I can get back on my own two feet," he announced and faced a wall of blank stares.
He smiled, holding his hands up in surrender, and exclaimed, "No, no, no! It was a joke, people! Man, you guys are uptight. If I can't laugh at myself, no one else can." There were a few sighs of relief.
"I am going to be staying with Maria for a little bit. Just as a friend, so don't get any ideas!" He flashed a look to his parents, who looked positively awestruck. "She has an extra bedroom she uses for storage right now. She says that the doors and one bathroom should be big enough for all of me, since my ass is a lot wider now," he said as he slapped the side of his wheelchair.
"That is great to hear, dear. I am sure that the Bredas are happy to hear that as well," his mother replied.
"Actually, Mrs. Havoc, it was my idea to ask her!" Breda replied.
"I already told you, call me Ma."
"Yes, Ma," Heymans replied dutifully.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Both Janet and Havoc were quickly running out of energy, and soon after they headed back for the Breda household. Ross excused herself, saying that she had another patient that she had to meet with soon.
Havoc had seen the looks that his parents had been shooting each other since the he and Ross had come back from outside. He thought their smiles were going to envelop their whole heads. He sighed, knowing what was coming, but he just had to know.
"Ma, Pop, what are you thinking about?" he asked hesitantly.
"It’s just that you and that Ms. Ross seem so nice together. She seems to like you, son."
"I am sure she does, Ma. We were soldiers together until we started to have that trouble with the former Fuhrer, Bradley. She... had to leave town for a while. So I was very surprised when she came back and Master Xao actually recommended her, not knowing that we had known each other before. What a small world, eh?"
"I guess so," his father said and then chuckled.
"But it is just professional, guys. She may have a boyfriend for all I know. In the sessions, we don't really talk about our personal lives much."
"She doesn't have a ring, so she isn't married yet..."
"MA!"
_______________________________________________________________________________
Unfortunately for Havoc, his parents had to leave that night. He and Breda saw them off at the train station, and he did his best not to cry, though his throat closed up and his chest felt like someone was sitting on it.
"Son, remember, call us any time. It isn't a very long train ride, and if there are any problems we can be back here soon. Write us!" As the train was pulling away, he couldn't hold back any more, and he put his head in his hands, trying to hide his red eyes. Breda gave him a few minutes, making an excuse about having to use the restroom, and then he silently wheeled his best friend back to the car to head home.
_____________________________________________________________________________
The next day found Havoc in less than a good mood, still missing his parents and not looking forward to how excruciating therapy was going to be -- not to mention having to go back to work. Ross found him like she usually did, already in his workout clothes, which consisted of a dingy gray t-shirt and long shorts in which he tried to conceal as much of his now much skinnier legs as he could. He was idly lifting his dumbbells, which she noticed that had gone up slightly in weight.
"Good for you!" She beamed with a big smile. "You are definitely getting stronger already!" He gave her a weak smile and put the dumbbells down. "So, let's get to the workout first, and then I want to try the acupuncture for a little longer this time, alright?" He nodded, and they got to work.
The first exercise was Ross moving his leg muscles up and back, holding them steady while they hovered in place. The muscles didn't seem to be losing mass anymore, but it didn't seem to be coming back yet either. She wanted to work those muscles a bit harder, in the hope that they could be build back up over time.
Havoc was surprised how much of a sweat he worked up over muscles that he couldn't feel, even though his lower back started to ache. He didn't complain, and Ross was surprised when he lasted for as long as he did.
After the leg exercises she had him work on his arms and upper body strength. He used two chairs that had been weighted down with a large pile of books and pulled into a standing position, then back down, in a kind of modified pull up. He was able to do more than he had before, and he was even able to hold himself up for a minute or so before his arms shook and he had to lower himself back to his chair.
"Alright, I think that is enough for now," Ross said after a few more rounds of exercises that worked the muscles in his chest, abdomen, and upper arms. Havoc let out a deep breath, and used the last bit of his energy to pull himself back up into his chair and roll outside for a quick smoke before the last part of the therapy.
When he came back, he was feeling much more relaxed, even though his muscles were screaming for a long hot bath followed by an even longer bath. He got back onto the floor and took off his shirt again, closing his eyes. Even after several weeks of acupuncture, it was still too tough for him to watch the needles going into his skin. It still reminded him of that night and brought back flashes of memories that were burned into his brain.
He felt the first couple of needles go in and his muscles relaxed. His eyes rolled back under his shut eyelids and his mind started to wander. At first, he just saw light colors fading in and out of his view. The colors melded together, then became flesh and skin, and formed into a woman, a beautiful woman with dark brown hair and deep blue eyes. His breath hitched for a second and he tensed up again. He tried to think about something else, but she kept coming back into his mind. Somewhere deep in his head, he knew he could open his eyes, but his body didn't want to respond.
"Havoc...” he heard a voice, but it sounded far away, hollow. "Jean...” He heard and he was finally able to open his eyes. Ross was looking right at him, shock written on her face.
A moment of panic went through him. Was he bleeding somewhere? Had something happened where he couldn't feel it? He looked at his chest, it was fine. One arm was okay, and the other. He looked down to his stomach. There was no problem there.
Then, he saw it.
"Oh... umm... Maria... I am sorry... I... didn't even know if it would work or not. I didn't even know it could. I haven't tried... anything," he stammered, trying to find words, but seemingly only making it worse. He turned a deep shade of pink and leaned over, trying to get to his shirt that he had tossed to the side to cover up his legs, but he stretched too far, overbalanced. He fell sideways, scraping his face against the carpet leaving hot, red carpet burns on the side of his face. He was pretty sure that a bruise was going to form soon.
"Jean, are you alright?" Ross asked as she leaned down to help him up, blushing as badly as he was. "It is okay, really. I don't know what brought it on, but it is alright. It happens. It may be a good sign that there is better blood flow to the area." She gently rubbed his cheek, where it was red and ugly. He hissed through tightly clenched teeth and pulled back, torn between wanting to feel her touch and shying away from the pain.
"I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, my mind was wandering and I was thinking about things, and I guess it just happened. Hell, I didn't even know it could still stand at attention like that... I am sorry!"
She smiled and handed him his t-shirt and then said, "I think maybe we ought to call it a day, Jean. I apologize. Let me just pull the needles out of your feet and I will go. I hadn't gotten very many in yet, anyways."
Oh great. Havoc thought. I finally found a girl that I like and for the first time since all of this, I thought the feeling might be mutual -- she may have actually liked me. I just went and ruined it, good job!