The Seed of the Fire- Chapter 21: "Sleepless Nights" (Mustang x Hughes)
Title: Sleepless Nights (The Seed of the Fire- Chapter 21)
Author: SeaweedOtter
Pairing: Roy Mustang x Maes Hughes
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: AU, Set before the anime started, while Maes and Roy were roommates at
the military academy.
Author Note: The story will mostly follow the manga, but it may have a bit of both.
Summary: "..But for the man who causes the pain, his soul can never be at rest."
I have the awesome johns_elizabeth as my advisor.
Read all of the chapters so far HERE!
He knew the route well- from his small apartment to the closest liquor store, which was just a couple of blocks away.
"Hey, Mr. Mustang!" The overweight, balding man behind the counter greeted him with a smile and a wave when he walked in, the bell over the door tinkled softly with his entrance.
Roy grunted a reply and went straight towards the aisle where the scotch
was kept. He knew the route well- the alchemist probably could have done it in his sleep. With a practiced motion, he grabbed his usual bottle of single malt scotch and was already fishing out the money from his pocket as he approached the front counter.
The less conversation, the better- he thought.
"Nice day, isn't-" The shopkeeper didn't even get to finish his sentence before the bills hit the counter and the raven haired man had already turned towards the shop's only door to leave.
The smile faded from the proprietor's face. He shook his head and frowned. "Hmm. Never talkative, that one." He grabbed an already dirty rag and started back on the counter that he had been cleaning before.
Roy walked quickly out of the store and down the street, heading towards one of the smaller parks in Central the he knew was never very crowded. His quickened pace took him there in short time, and he soon located the bench that he had sat on and pondered over various things in his life many time in the past.
As usual, his normal seat was empty. He sat down on the cold stone bench, the coolness of the hard surface leaked through his clothes and into his skin. He shivered.
Eagerly, he opened the bottle and took a swig. It burnt going down, and he coughed,
spilling a tiny bit down the side of his cheek. He groaned and took another swig, which already started hurt less.
Slowly, he watched the sun rise into the sky. He saw families come into the park and have lunch, or play with their dogs, then leave again. Young lovers found a secluded space under a tree to make out. Eventually they all left, and he was alone again.
The sun fell towards the western horizon, and the wind picked up, howling lightly through the trees. Roy shivered again, and finally stood up, his legs creaking in protest after staying in one position for so long.
He looked down at now mostly empty whiskey bottle, turned it over and watched the last few drops slowly leak from the bottom of the glass, splattering on the ground. He sighed softly and threw the bottle in a nearby trashcan, and started to head towards one of the bars that he used to frequent.
"Whiskey on the rocks." The alchemist grunted, taking a seat at one of the high seats at the bar. He put the sens for the drink on the counter, slapping on the surface with a dull thud. He swallowed it down eagerly as soon as it came, and ordered another- anxious to dull the ache of guilt that came with the waning edge of his initial drunkenness.
It only took a few moments for Roy to catch the eye of one of the many young ladies at the bar. He smiled politely and gave the tall, lanky blonde his 'Mustang smirk', but there was little conversation, and she wandered away fairly quickly when he didn't pay her the attention that she could get from someone else. He knew he should have cared. Any other time, he could have had her wrapped around his little finger.
But he just didn't care.
Evening progressed into night, and the night stretched further on. People started to hook up and leave together, or sober up and leave by themselves. But Roy kept drinking. He had no idea how many glasses he had finished. The bartender had been keeping them on the table next to him, but eventually he needed to clean and use them for other people's drinks, and he was left with just the half full glass of amber liquid in front of him.
"Hey, Roy. It's last call. Can you get home? I can call you a cab if you want."
"No." Roy grumbled, his eyes dropping towards the bar. He tried to reach for his glass, but missed, the tips of his fingers almost tipping it over. He propped his head up with a shaky hand to look at the man who was talking to him.
"You need to call someone?"
"No."
"What are you going to do?"
"Dunno." Roy slurred, tried to say something else, but his brain and mouth weren’t working well together, so he stood up instead, slapping a hand on the bar to keep his wobbly body upright. He took a step and stumbled, propping himself up on the barstool. After a moment, he was able to make the room stop spinning enough to stumble towards the door.
"I'll figure someth'n out.." he muttered to the bartender, making his way carefully through the maze of barstools, using them for balance until he got to the front door.
The bartender shrugged and said "Suit yourself. Good luck," then went back to cleaning the mess on the bar in front of him.
The night was pleasant and cool. The breeze had lightened, but it was still enough to cause the flaps of his jackets to dance with the wind.
Roy didn't notice any of it.
He stumbled down the street, guiding himself from building to building, leaning on storefront windows and locked doors to keep his precarious balance. He had no idea where he was going. For a moment, he considered going to Maes' apartment, but he
quickly nixed that. He knew the man wouldn't be there, and the alchemist had no clue as to where Gracia lived- he doubted he wanted to see her anyways. In his state, he was vaguely worried that he would do something that he would later regret.
A long sigh escaped his lips. He had nowhere to go. He didn't want to go home. His fuzzy mind tried to trudge through the haze of his inebriated brain to think about a place that he could go.
"Madame Foster." He muttered into the night air. He turned around and started to head towards the house of ill repute that he had been shown by some of his friends at the academy. It was a place that he had learned to become a man.
________________________________________________________________
Maes was already awake when the sun started to rise in the sky. He had gotten very little sleep the night before, and he knew that his tossing and turning had kept Gracia up as well. Eventually he just moved to her couch, where he had spent most of
the night going between fitful sleep filled with bad dreams and partially awake and exhausted.
He was actually a little glad when the light from the first rays of the sun started to shine through the large windows in the living room. It meant that even as tired as he was, he didn't have to try to pretend to sleep any more. He yawned and stretched.
A few minutes later, he had gone through his normal morning routine and gotten dressed. He wrote a note to Gracia, telling her he was going to do a little shopping. He fully intended to, but he knew there was somewhere else that he had to stop at first.
The last thing he was expecting when he got to Roy's apartment was for the door to be locked. It looked dark inside. He knocked a couple of times, but got no answer. "Roy, I know you are mad, but can you please open up? I.. am scared. I don't want you to hurt yourself." But he still got no answer.
Maes grunted and slid his back down the outside of the alchemist's door, crumpling into an uncomfortable sitting position on the ground. "I will give him a little while," he said to nobody in the hall. "Then I am going to try to break down that door. Maybe he just went out for a moment and I am worrying for nothing."
With a loud sigh, he sat up and arranged himself in a slightly less uncomfortable position on the floor, where he tried as hard as he could to not let his mind wander to all the ways that his lover could possibly try to kill himself.
___________________________________________________________________
Somehow, Maes had managed to fall into a light, troubled sleep by the time Roy stumbled back to his apartment. The alchemist seriously thought about leaving the man there and not even bothering to wake him up, except that he had fallen asleep close
to the dead center of the door, which made it impossible for him to enter his own apartment.
He sighed and gently used the toe of his boot to poke at Maes. "Rrrr... huh.. wha?" He awoke with a start, his eyes going wide when he saw Roy looming over him. "Oh. Hey, Roy." He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.
"Move."
For a second, Maes looked confused. He followed Roy's eyes to the door behind him. "Oh, yeah. Sorry." He ungracefully scrambled to his feet and stood out of the way while Roy unlocked the door and entered his apartment. Maes took a step forward but stopped inside the doorframe, not sure if he should enter.
"Come in." He heard Roy call from his bedroom. Maes sighed and walked in, flopping down on the well worn couch. Roy came out a few minutes later. He had splashed water on his face and took off his outer jacket. All he was wearing was a white sleeveless tank top and his dress blue pants. His face was clean, and his hair was slicked back, but he still reeked of alcohol and sex and smoke.
Maes watched, transfixed, while he walked back into the room. Even at his worst- unclean, unshaven, dirty and tired and hung over, Maes still couldn't get over how sexy the man was. His dog tags tinkled lightly with each step he took. Maes watched
them dance under his thin top as he approached.
Roy looked at Maes, then looked down, following his gaze. He pulled out the dog tags, and the ring that dangled on its silver chain right underneath them. The tiniest of smiles flitted onto Roy's face for just a moment, a couple of heartbeats, then it was gone- his stone facade back in place.
"Do you... remember when I gave that to you?" Maes asked softly, tentatively.
Roy sighed. He looked over at a bottle of scotch that was on the table, shivered, and collapsed in an old, dilapidated green chair that let up a puff of dust when he sat in it. "Yeah." He replied after a moment. "It was the day before we left for Ishbal. And you had just told me.. about her."
Maes could hear the bitterness and the resentment in the last word, but he said nothing. He watched as the alchemist slowly traced over the still tarnished silver surface. It looked more like dark pewter than silver, with dirt in all the small crevices of the intricate design.
"You said it was your grandfathers." He continued. "And it had some strange words on the inside. You knew what they meant but not what language it was." He paused for a moment and looked at the three words on the inside. 'Love Conquers All', it says.
I did a little research. It an ancient language that is somewhat related to a very old and no longer used version of the Drachman language. It was used about the same time as that ancient religion was at its height. You know, the one that is now only a footnote in classroom textbooks, the one that had only one God."
The older man nodded. "Yeah. I remember that. There are a few places where the ruins of their churches still stand. I think I heard that there was one in this little town called Liore, to the east. That is what a friend of mine from around there once
told me."
Roy nodded and let go of the ring. It gently rung against the dog tags, making a soft, sweet tone before settling back into place. "I thought about giving this back to you." He said, his deep black eyes staring into the distance.
"No matter what happens, it is yours. I don't care if you never forgive me, or if you never want to see me again. After all I have done, I would understand. All I ask is that you keep it. Don't melt it or throw it away, just keep it, and when you find someone else who is very special to you, you can give it to them."
He nodded. "Okay."
All Maes wanted to do was to walk over to Roy and hold him tight and tell him that everything was going to be okay. But he wasn't sure that it was. He still had no clue as to what was going to happen. He wanted to spend the rest of his life as Gracia's husband, but he still loved Roy, with all of his heart. It wasn't fair to Roy, and it certainly wasn't fair to him, but it was the bed he made, and he was laying in it.
Maes looked at his watch and sighed. "I have to do some grocery shopping and get back to.. " he paused for a moment, almost not wanting to finish his sentence. "Gracia." He finally continued. "I am really sorry. But I am worried about you. I don't want you to do anything rash.."
Roy bit back the first comment that came to his mind, and just shook his head, a slight smirk coming to his face. "Don't worry. I am fine. You know I am too much of a coward to do anything, even if I wanted to."
"Do you.. want to, Roy?"
"No. A broken heart isn't worth it." He got up and walked back towards his bedroom. "I am going to take a shower. Go back to her, Maes. There's no need to stay here." He didn't wait for a response, he walked to his bedroom door and closed it with a loud 'thud'.
Maes sighed and got up out of the chair. "Nope, no need to stay, indeed." He shook his head and walked out, closing and locking the apartment door behind him.
Author: SeaweedOtter
Pairing: Roy Mustang x Maes Hughes
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: AU, Set before the anime started, while Maes and Roy were roommates at
the military academy.
Author Note: The story will mostly follow the manga, but it may have a bit of both.
Summary: "..But for the man who causes the pain, his soul can never be at rest."
I have the awesome johns_elizabeth as my advisor.
Read all of the chapters so far HERE!
He knew the route well- from his small apartment to the closest liquor store, which was just a couple of blocks away.
"Hey, Mr. Mustang!" The overweight, balding man behind the counter greeted him with a smile and a wave when he walked in, the bell over the door tinkled softly with his entrance.
Roy grunted a reply and went straight towards the aisle where the scotch
was kept. He knew the route well- the alchemist probably could have done it in his sleep. With a practiced motion, he grabbed his usual bottle of single malt scotch and was already fishing out the money from his pocket as he approached the front counter.
The less conversation, the better- he thought.
"Nice day, isn't-" The shopkeeper didn't even get to finish his sentence before the bills hit the counter and the raven haired man had already turned towards the shop's only door to leave.
The smile faded from the proprietor's face. He shook his head and frowned. "Hmm. Never talkative, that one." He grabbed an already dirty rag and started back on the counter that he had been cleaning before.
Roy walked quickly out of the store and down the street, heading towards one of the smaller parks in Central the he knew was never very crowded. His quickened pace took him there in short time, and he soon located the bench that he had sat on and pondered over various things in his life many time in the past.
As usual, his normal seat was empty. He sat down on the cold stone bench, the coolness of the hard surface leaked through his clothes and into his skin. He shivered.
Eagerly, he opened the bottle and took a swig. It burnt going down, and he coughed,
spilling a tiny bit down the side of his cheek. He groaned and took another swig, which already started hurt less.
Slowly, he watched the sun rise into the sky. He saw families come into the park and have lunch, or play with their dogs, then leave again. Young lovers found a secluded space under a tree to make out. Eventually they all left, and he was alone again.
The sun fell towards the western horizon, and the wind picked up, howling lightly through the trees. Roy shivered again, and finally stood up, his legs creaking in protest after staying in one position for so long.
He looked down at now mostly empty whiskey bottle, turned it over and watched the last few drops slowly leak from the bottom of the glass, splattering on the ground. He sighed softly and threw the bottle in a nearby trashcan, and started to head towards one of the bars that he used to frequent.
"Whiskey on the rocks." The alchemist grunted, taking a seat at one of the high seats at the bar. He put the sens for the drink on the counter, slapping on the surface with a dull thud. He swallowed it down eagerly as soon as it came, and ordered another- anxious to dull the ache of guilt that came with the waning edge of his initial drunkenness.
It only took a few moments for Roy to catch the eye of one of the many young ladies at the bar. He smiled politely and gave the tall, lanky blonde his 'Mustang smirk', but there was little conversation, and she wandered away fairly quickly when he didn't pay her the attention that she could get from someone else. He knew he should have cared. Any other time, he could have had her wrapped around his little finger.
But he just didn't care.
Evening progressed into night, and the night stretched further on. People started to hook up and leave together, or sober up and leave by themselves. But Roy kept drinking. He had no idea how many glasses he had finished. The bartender had been keeping them on the table next to him, but eventually he needed to clean and use them for other people's drinks, and he was left with just the half full glass of amber liquid in front of him.
"Hey, Roy. It's last call. Can you get home? I can call you a cab if you want."
"No." Roy grumbled, his eyes dropping towards the bar. He tried to reach for his glass, but missed, the tips of his fingers almost tipping it over. He propped his head up with a shaky hand to look at the man who was talking to him.
"You need to call someone?"
"No."
"What are you going to do?"
"Dunno." Roy slurred, tried to say something else, but his brain and mouth weren’t working well together, so he stood up instead, slapping a hand on the bar to keep his wobbly body upright. He took a step and stumbled, propping himself up on the barstool. After a moment, he was able to make the room stop spinning enough to stumble towards the door.
"I'll figure someth'n out.." he muttered to the bartender, making his way carefully through the maze of barstools, using them for balance until he got to the front door.
The bartender shrugged and said "Suit yourself. Good luck," then went back to cleaning the mess on the bar in front of him.
The night was pleasant and cool. The breeze had lightened, but it was still enough to cause the flaps of his jackets to dance with the wind.
Roy didn't notice any of it.
He stumbled down the street, guiding himself from building to building, leaning on storefront windows and locked doors to keep his precarious balance. He had no idea where he was going. For a moment, he considered going to Maes' apartment, but he
quickly nixed that. He knew the man wouldn't be there, and the alchemist had no clue as to where Gracia lived- he doubted he wanted to see her anyways. In his state, he was vaguely worried that he would do something that he would later regret.
A long sigh escaped his lips. He had nowhere to go. He didn't want to go home. His fuzzy mind tried to trudge through the haze of his inebriated brain to think about a place that he could go.
"Madame Foster." He muttered into the night air. He turned around and started to head towards the house of ill repute that he had been shown by some of his friends at the academy. It was a place that he had learned to become a man.
________________________________________________________________
Maes was already awake when the sun started to rise in the sky. He had gotten very little sleep the night before, and he knew that his tossing and turning had kept Gracia up as well. Eventually he just moved to her couch, where he had spent most of
the night going between fitful sleep filled with bad dreams and partially awake and exhausted.
He was actually a little glad when the light from the first rays of the sun started to shine through the large windows in the living room. It meant that even as tired as he was, he didn't have to try to pretend to sleep any more. He yawned and stretched.
A few minutes later, he had gone through his normal morning routine and gotten dressed. He wrote a note to Gracia, telling her he was going to do a little shopping. He fully intended to, but he knew there was somewhere else that he had to stop at first.
The last thing he was expecting when he got to Roy's apartment was for the door to be locked. It looked dark inside. He knocked a couple of times, but got no answer. "Roy, I know you are mad, but can you please open up? I.. am scared. I don't want you to hurt yourself." But he still got no answer.
Maes grunted and slid his back down the outside of the alchemist's door, crumpling into an uncomfortable sitting position on the ground. "I will give him a little while," he said to nobody in the hall. "Then I am going to try to break down that door. Maybe he just went out for a moment and I am worrying for nothing."
With a loud sigh, he sat up and arranged himself in a slightly less uncomfortable position on the floor, where he tried as hard as he could to not let his mind wander to all the ways that his lover could possibly try to kill himself.
___________________________________________________________________
Somehow, Maes had managed to fall into a light, troubled sleep by the time Roy stumbled back to his apartment. The alchemist seriously thought about leaving the man there and not even bothering to wake him up, except that he had fallen asleep close
to the dead center of the door, which made it impossible for him to enter his own apartment.
He sighed and gently used the toe of his boot to poke at Maes. "Rrrr... huh.. wha?" He awoke with a start, his eyes going wide when he saw Roy looming over him. "Oh. Hey, Roy." He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.
"Move."
For a second, Maes looked confused. He followed Roy's eyes to the door behind him. "Oh, yeah. Sorry." He ungracefully scrambled to his feet and stood out of the way while Roy unlocked the door and entered his apartment. Maes took a step forward but stopped inside the doorframe, not sure if he should enter.
"Come in." He heard Roy call from his bedroom. Maes sighed and walked in, flopping down on the well worn couch. Roy came out a few minutes later. He had splashed water on his face and took off his outer jacket. All he was wearing was a white sleeveless tank top and his dress blue pants. His face was clean, and his hair was slicked back, but he still reeked of alcohol and sex and smoke.
Maes watched, transfixed, while he walked back into the room. Even at his worst- unclean, unshaven, dirty and tired and hung over, Maes still couldn't get over how sexy the man was. His dog tags tinkled lightly with each step he took. Maes watched
them dance under his thin top as he approached.
Roy looked at Maes, then looked down, following his gaze. He pulled out the dog tags, and the ring that dangled on its silver chain right underneath them. The tiniest of smiles flitted onto Roy's face for just a moment, a couple of heartbeats, then it was gone- his stone facade back in place.
"Do you... remember when I gave that to you?" Maes asked softly, tentatively.
Roy sighed. He looked over at a bottle of scotch that was on the table, shivered, and collapsed in an old, dilapidated green chair that let up a puff of dust when he sat in it. "Yeah." He replied after a moment. "It was the day before we left for Ishbal. And you had just told me.. about her."
Maes could hear the bitterness and the resentment in the last word, but he said nothing. He watched as the alchemist slowly traced over the still tarnished silver surface. It looked more like dark pewter than silver, with dirt in all the small crevices of the intricate design.
"You said it was your grandfathers." He continued. "And it had some strange words on the inside. You knew what they meant but not what language it was." He paused for a moment and looked at the three words on the inside. 'Love Conquers All', it says.
I did a little research. It an ancient language that is somewhat related to a very old and no longer used version of the Drachman language. It was used about the same time as that ancient religion was at its height. You know, the one that is now only a footnote in classroom textbooks, the one that had only one God."
The older man nodded. "Yeah. I remember that. There are a few places where the ruins of their churches still stand. I think I heard that there was one in this little town called Liore, to the east. That is what a friend of mine from around there once
told me."
Roy nodded and let go of the ring. It gently rung against the dog tags, making a soft, sweet tone before settling back into place. "I thought about giving this back to you." He said, his deep black eyes staring into the distance.
"No matter what happens, it is yours. I don't care if you never forgive me, or if you never want to see me again. After all I have done, I would understand. All I ask is that you keep it. Don't melt it or throw it away, just keep it, and when you find someone else who is very special to you, you can give it to them."
He nodded. "Okay."
All Maes wanted to do was to walk over to Roy and hold him tight and tell him that everything was going to be okay. But he wasn't sure that it was. He still had no clue as to what was going to happen. He wanted to spend the rest of his life as Gracia's husband, but he still loved Roy, with all of his heart. It wasn't fair to Roy, and it certainly wasn't fair to him, but it was the bed he made, and he was laying in it.
Maes looked at his watch and sighed. "I have to do some grocery shopping and get back to.. " he paused for a moment, almost not wanting to finish his sentence. "Gracia." He finally continued. "I am really sorry. But I am worried about you. I don't want you to do anything rash.."
Roy bit back the first comment that came to his mind, and just shook his head, a slight smirk coming to his face. "Don't worry. I am fine. You know I am too much of a coward to do anything, even if I wanted to."
"Do you.. want to, Roy?"
"No. A broken heart isn't worth it." He got up and walked back towards his bedroom. "I am going to take a shower. Go back to her, Maes. There's no need to stay here." He didn't wait for a response, he walked to his bedroom door and closed it with a loud 'thud'.
Maes sighed and got up out of the chair. "Nope, no need to stay, indeed." He shook his head and walked out, closing and locking the apartment door behind him.