Death- (Mustang x Havoc) For 12_Fics #12- Death
Well, this is it. The last of the 12_fics. It took a little over 4 months to finish, and I want to thank everyone who stick with me. I re-read the series, and this is my favorite by far. It may be one of my favorite fics. It isn't perfect- there are still a few parts where the wording may be slightly awkward, but after editing it over and over, this is what has come out.
Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.
Go HERE to read it all.
Title: Death
Author: SeaweedOtter
Set & Theme: #1, #12- Death
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Jean Havoc x Roy Mustang
Rating: PG
Genres: Drama, Romance
Warnings: Definite spoilers for the manga, up to and including chapter 40.
Word Count: 1324
Disclaimer: No real spoilers or anything.
Summary: Is there life, after death?
A bright light.
‘How cliché.’ He couldn’t help but chuckle to himself as the blindingly white light engulfed him, making him squint his eyes and put his hand to his forehead, in an attempt to not go blind- not that it should matter where he was now.
‘Well, at least I’m not in pain any more,’ he mused. He tried to look down at himself- at the injury that Solaris- no- Lust- had given him, but the light was so strong that he couldn’t even see his hand if he put it more than a couple of inches away from his tightly squinted eyes. Spots appeared at the sides of his vision and everything blurred so badly that his eyes watered.
‘If this is death, then it isn’t as nice I imagined,’ he thought out loud. ‘I thought it was supposed to be some sort of paradise. Or, maybe, I didn’t make it there…’ If he had been able to, he would have shivered in fear at that thought. ‘Don’t think about it,” he scolded himself. His lips formed the words, but no sounds came from his mouth- which struck him as rather odd.
‘If this is heaven it sure is boring,” he shrugged, almost laughing at the absurdity of it all.
A voice.
For the first time, he heard a voice. It wasn’t his, he knew that. It was much deeper and richer- oddly familiar in some way, though he was having a hard time placing it exactly. It had a dreamy, almost ethereal quality to it at first, like he was trying to listen from a long distance away. He wondered if he was just imagining it while he tried to scan his fuzzy brain to put a face or a name to the voice. The sound continued, growing louder and clearer, the fog that had been obscuring him slowly burning away.
It… sounded like his name.
‘Oh, yes. My name. I think I’d almost forgotten it,’ he thought. ‘What was it again?’
“Jean.”
It was the first word that he had been able to speak, since he arrived… wherever he was. “Jean. That is what the voice is saying-” And even as he spoke those words, he knew the voice.
That voice.
“Roy.”
Just as quickly as the light seemed to overwhelm him, it dimmed and faded away. The absolute light was swallowed and replaced by absolute darkness- the darkest, deepest black had nothing on the impenetrable nothingness that now surrounded him.
“Roy…” he whispered, his voice once again failing him when he tried to call out. He fell to his knees- surprised that he could do that, since he felt nothing of any substance anywhere- under him, around him, or anywhere in this vast void. He shut his eyes tight, feeling warm tears start to form around the corners of his eyes, trying to shut out the ether around him.
“Jean, this is going to hurt. I’m sorry.” He heard the voice, but he couldn’t open his eyes, no matter how hard he tried. He tried to move, but it felt like he was made of lead. His arms and legs wouldn’t respond to his commands. Even with all of that, he was sure that Roy was near.
And for the first time since his whole word had changed, he didn’t feel quite so utterly alone.
“Roy.” He tried to speak again, but his lips seemed to be glued shut, and his voice- like the rest of his body- failed him. He wanted to cry out for the alchemist- to see him, or at least feel the soft touch of Roy’s hand on his.
Then the light came again.
But it was different this time. It wasn’t the blindingly white light from before. It was orange and red and yellow.
And it was hot. So very hot.
Jean hadn’t felt anything while he had been in the void. He had almost forgotten what the simple act of feeling had felt like. But he knew what this was, flickering in front of him, dancing with the slight flitter of a breeze that he hadn’t noticed until then.
“I’m sorry, Jean.”
Snap.
In a flash of heat and light, he felt once again- then the entire world went black.
__________________________________
Had it been a second, an hour, a day, a lifetime? Jean had no idea. The only thing he was sure of was that there was a light coming back into his vision.
It started low, and then it started to grow, slowly but surely. It was white, but not like before. It wasn’t blinding and overpowering. It was dull and calm, almost relaxing compared to what he had seen before.
It was almost… nice.
He took a deep breath, long and full, like he had never taken one before in his life. For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, he felt something. He wasn’t sure what it was at first, but with another deep inhale, it assaulted his senses. It was harsh and acidic, like cleaning products and fresh linens. It smelt like… a hospital.
Jean blinked his eyes. The light assaulted his pupils. It was almost too much at first, but after a few moments it became more bearable. All he could see were blurry shapes and blobs of colors.- real colors instead of the blinding white, absolute black, and red heat that he had seen before.
There were greens and blues, yellow and peach and black. Black- like his hair and eyes...
Him- the voice he had heard before. The memories of his last moments came back to him in a flood. The last thing he had seen was Roy’s eyes starting at him as he fell to the ground in the warehouse.
“R-R-Roy…” His dry, cracked lips barely parted. His voice was low and harsh- barely a whisper. But, finally, it was his voice again- from his lips and his breath.
“Jean, I’m here.”
Touch. He hadn’t felt it in so long. It seemed like a lifetime. He could feel something touching his skin lightly. It was a finger, softly brushing against the back of his hand, so light it almost tickled his still sensitive skin.
The light finally started to even out. The blobs of color and shade became shapes, finally starting to clear into normalcy. He was in a fairly small room, with a window to his side and a bedside table beside him. There were a couple of chairs and other sparse furnishings around the small room. He was in a bed, sitting up slightly, wearing a green hospital shirt and a blue bed sheet covered about from his belly down. He groggily lolled his head to the side, and a smile finally came to his face.
“Roy.” Jean winced slightly at his harsh, dry voice.
“Yes, Jean, I’m here,” he repeated. “It was close for a while, but you’re back.”
‘Back from where?’ He wondered, but quickly shook it from his mind.
“I… missed you. “
“I missed you too,” Jean replied, weakly squeezing his lover’s hand with the tiny bit of strength that he had left.
For a moment, it was silent. Too silent for the blond. Jean finally noticed the worry that was shining in Roy’s dark eyes, something that was showing in his face, though he couldn’t tell what it was. He knew something felt off, but he was so heavily drugged, and it was hard to keep his eyes open and focused. What was it?
Something was… missing.
He looked, stared, at Roy- trying to catch a hint or a glimpse of what was going on. At first there was nothing, but then he caught slight movement from Roy’s eyes- his vision shifted from his face, down to where the blue sheets met his midsection, then back. It was subtle, but enough for Jean to catch it.
Then, he understood.
“Roy, why can’t I feel my legs?”
Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.
Go HERE to read it all.
Title: Death
Author: SeaweedOtter
Set & Theme: #1, #12- Death
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Jean Havoc x Roy Mustang
Rating: PG
Genres: Drama, Romance
Warnings: Definite spoilers for the manga, up to and including chapter 40.
Word Count: 1324
Disclaimer: No real spoilers or anything.
Summary: Is there life, after death?
A bright light.
‘How cliché.’ He couldn’t help but chuckle to himself as the blindingly white light engulfed him, making him squint his eyes and put his hand to his forehead, in an attempt to not go blind- not that it should matter where he was now.
‘Well, at least I’m not in pain any more,’ he mused. He tried to look down at himself- at the injury that Solaris- no- Lust- had given him, but the light was so strong that he couldn’t even see his hand if he put it more than a couple of inches away from his tightly squinted eyes. Spots appeared at the sides of his vision and everything blurred so badly that his eyes watered.
‘If this is death, then it isn’t as nice I imagined,’ he thought out loud. ‘I thought it was supposed to be some sort of paradise. Or, maybe, I didn’t make it there…’ If he had been able to, he would have shivered in fear at that thought. ‘Don’t think about it,” he scolded himself. His lips formed the words, but no sounds came from his mouth- which struck him as rather odd.
‘If this is heaven it sure is boring,” he shrugged, almost laughing at the absurdity of it all.
A voice.
For the first time, he heard a voice. It wasn’t his, he knew that. It was much deeper and richer- oddly familiar in some way, though he was having a hard time placing it exactly. It had a dreamy, almost ethereal quality to it at first, like he was trying to listen from a long distance away. He wondered if he was just imagining it while he tried to scan his fuzzy brain to put a face or a name to the voice. The sound continued, growing louder and clearer, the fog that had been obscuring him slowly burning away.
It… sounded like his name.
‘Oh, yes. My name. I think I’d almost forgotten it,’ he thought. ‘What was it again?’
“Jean.”
It was the first word that he had been able to speak, since he arrived… wherever he was. “Jean. That is what the voice is saying-” And even as he spoke those words, he knew the voice.
That voice.
“Roy.”
Just as quickly as the light seemed to overwhelm him, it dimmed and faded away. The absolute light was swallowed and replaced by absolute darkness- the darkest, deepest black had nothing on the impenetrable nothingness that now surrounded him.
“Roy…” he whispered, his voice once again failing him when he tried to call out. He fell to his knees- surprised that he could do that, since he felt nothing of any substance anywhere- under him, around him, or anywhere in this vast void. He shut his eyes tight, feeling warm tears start to form around the corners of his eyes, trying to shut out the ether around him.
“Jean, this is going to hurt. I’m sorry.” He heard the voice, but he couldn’t open his eyes, no matter how hard he tried. He tried to move, but it felt like he was made of lead. His arms and legs wouldn’t respond to his commands. Even with all of that, he was sure that Roy was near.
And for the first time since his whole word had changed, he didn’t feel quite so utterly alone.
“Roy.” He tried to speak again, but his lips seemed to be glued shut, and his voice- like the rest of his body- failed him. He wanted to cry out for the alchemist- to see him, or at least feel the soft touch of Roy’s hand on his.
Then the light came again.
But it was different this time. It wasn’t the blindingly white light from before. It was orange and red and yellow.
And it was hot. So very hot.
Jean hadn’t felt anything while he had been in the void. He had almost forgotten what the simple act of feeling had felt like. But he knew what this was, flickering in front of him, dancing with the slight flitter of a breeze that he hadn’t noticed until then.
“I’m sorry, Jean.”
Snap.
In a flash of heat and light, he felt once again- then the entire world went black.
__________________________________
Had it been a second, an hour, a day, a lifetime? Jean had no idea. The only thing he was sure of was that there was a light coming back into his vision.
It started low, and then it started to grow, slowly but surely. It was white, but not like before. It wasn’t blinding and overpowering. It was dull and calm, almost relaxing compared to what he had seen before.
It was almost… nice.
He took a deep breath, long and full, like he had never taken one before in his life. For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, he felt something. He wasn’t sure what it was at first, but with another deep inhale, it assaulted his senses. It was harsh and acidic, like cleaning products and fresh linens. It smelt like… a hospital.
Jean blinked his eyes. The light assaulted his pupils. It was almost too much at first, but after a few moments it became more bearable. All he could see were blurry shapes and blobs of colors.- real colors instead of the blinding white, absolute black, and red heat that he had seen before.
There were greens and blues, yellow and peach and black. Black- like his hair and eyes...
Him- the voice he had heard before. The memories of his last moments came back to him in a flood. The last thing he had seen was Roy’s eyes starting at him as he fell to the ground in the warehouse.
“R-R-Roy…” His dry, cracked lips barely parted. His voice was low and harsh- barely a whisper. But, finally, it was his voice again- from his lips and his breath.
“Jean, I’m here.”
Touch. He hadn’t felt it in so long. It seemed like a lifetime. He could feel something touching his skin lightly. It was a finger, softly brushing against the back of his hand, so light it almost tickled his still sensitive skin.
The light finally started to even out. The blobs of color and shade became shapes, finally starting to clear into normalcy. He was in a fairly small room, with a window to his side and a bedside table beside him. There were a couple of chairs and other sparse furnishings around the small room. He was in a bed, sitting up slightly, wearing a green hospital shirt and a blue bed sheet covered about from his belly down. He groggily lolled his head to the side, and a smile finally came to his face.
“Roy.” Jean winced slightly at his harsh, dry voice.
“Yes, Jean, I’m here,” he repeated. “It was close for a while, but you’re back.”
‘Back from where?’ He wondered, but quickly shook it from his mind.
“I… missed you. “
“I missed you too,” Jean replied, weakly squeezing his lover’s hand with the tiny bit of strength that he had left.
For a moment, it was silent. Too silent for the blond. Jean finally noticed the worry that was shining in Roy’s dark eyes, something that was showing in his face, though he couldn’t tell what it was. He knew something felt off, but he was so heavily drugged, and it was hard to keep his eyes open and focused. What was it?
Something was… missing.
He looked, stared, at Roy- trying to catch a hint or a glimpse of what was going on. At first there was nothing, but then he caught slight movement from Roy’s eyes- his vision shifted from his face, down to where the blue sheets met his midsection, then back. It was subtle, but enough for Jean to catch it.
Then, he understood.
“Roy, why can’t I feel my legs?”