script logs; Ryoma and Tezuka
Might as well share both of these so Whit won't ask me for them later. XD;
Date: Sunday (02/25), evening
Rating: G
Summary: ...Um. Ryoma rejects Tezuka. Kinda. Something like that. >>;
Tezuka: *notices there is not longer sufficient light coming from the windows to read by and checks his watch - dinner is probably over... which means Ryoma has headed over to the pool house. After a bit of deliberation, Tezuka leaves the library and goes out to find Ryoma. He enters the pool house quietly, ignoring that even turning the knob of the door hurts his abused arms just a bit* Echizen?
Ryoma: ::Starts a little as the door opens - he hadn't been keeping track of time, but he's been in here at least an hour already, judging by the way the sun's already nearly set. He glances up as Tezuka enters, setting aside the piece of rope he'd been tying and untying in an effort to stave off nerves:: Yeah. ::pause:: Look... I know s'not a really good time for you. I'll try to...keep it short.
Tezuka: ... *wonders if he really seemed that irritable with what little he had spoken to Ryoma... though perhaps that was it, exactly. He does appreciate the sentiment of being concise, but...* I have time for you.
Ryoma: Yeah... okay... ::runs a hand through his hair and gets up, pacing around a little, not staying still:: Look. It's just... ::he's gone over the words a million times in his head but it's a lot harder to actually say them:: You're the one who told me to talk to Momo. An' I did. An' then a few days later... you said all that other stuff to me. An' then I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Tezuka: ...*settles on the bench in the middle of the room, crossing one leg over the other and remaining quite still by comparison* My timing was not brilliant.
Ryoma: ::half-laughs, half-sighs:: Well... I mean, s'not your fault. I know you said you wouldn't, an' I said that was fine, an' now's a bad time, but... I know what I said, but I also know I haven't been *doing* what I said. I don't even know f'you've noticed. Hell, *I* don't even notice I'm doin' it sometimes. But I can't... There's somethin' goin' on an' I need to know f'it's gotta stop.
Tezuka: ...? *folds his arms over his chest*
Ryoma: ::sighs, stops pacing, runs a hand through his hair:: ... Look. Buchou. ::pause:: Kunimitsu. You know I'm not... really good with words. So. ::sighs, then looks up into Tezuka's eyes, not flinching even if he isn't sure this really is a good idea:: You said you'd do anything I asked. So I gotta request. ::another pause:: I want you to kiss me.
Tezuka: *just stares at Ryoma, his shoulders tensing. He seems to be hearing those words rather a lot this weekend, though that thought slips away as he slowly unfolds his legs and arms and stands. It is not as though he would say no even without what he said before* You're certain?
Ryoma: ::honestly hadn't expected it to be that easy, but doesn't outwardly show his surprise. He nods, stepping a little closer, nervous because he's obviously having trouble saying what he wants with words, but he doesn't know if Tezuka will understand it in actions any better:: Yeah. Lemme just... show you. ::isn't going to move again until Tezuka does, though - this is still up to Tezuka::
Tezuka: *finds this all very baffling - especially given the words he had spoken (and very much believed) to Sengoku. He rests one hand lightly to Ryoma's cheek with a sinking feeling in his stomach as though someone has just thrown a rock down his throat. Still... he bends to close the remaining distance between them*
Ryoma: ::helps by standing on tiptoes, wrapping arms around Tezuka's neck and kisses him, trying to put all his frustration and his passion for Tezuka - and Momo - into this one kiss, because he needs to show Tezuka what he feels... and he needs to know what Tezuka feels. And if any of this means anything to him, before Ryoma potentially gives it all up::
Tezuka: *is startled, initially, but quickly recovers, returning the kiss with matching passion as some part of his brain shuts off. His arms curl around Ryoma's back to help ease some of the strain on his feet and he feels himself fall into the comfortable mindset that often consumes him on the court - his love and passion for tennis really... is not that different than what he feels for Ryoma*
Ryoma: ::wasn't sure what to expect from Tezuka, honestly, but is distinctly relieved when he doesn't immediately pull away - or push Ryoma away. He's barely thinking, lost in the kiss and in the way Tezuka feels, trying to memorize it, and drag this moment out until they need to break to breathe, sliding down to rest his forehead against Tezuka's chest, closing his eyes and silent a moment::
Tezuka: *catches his breath and tries to mentally coax his heart into calming down. His arms linger around Ryoma's back which seems to be directly detrimental to processing all that is happening, but it's comfortable*
Ryoma: ::remains standing against Tezuka, as long as it seems okay, but he's got to say something:: I just... I gotta know why you told me now. I mean... ::laughs a little:: It sounds really self-centered. But I need to know f'you'll be okay f'I walk out that door an' date Momo. For real. ::takes a deep breath:: What d'you want? Am I bein' stupid an' making stuff up? Do you even want anything from me? ::it didn't feel like Tezuka *doesn't*, given that kiss, but...::
Tezuka: *is quiet for a moment before hugging Ryoma a bit tighter to his chest* I knew you had made this decision, Ryoma. *studies the wall as though it were fascinating while he collects his thoughts* However, I cannot answer that question without either lying to you or... saying more than I ought to say.
Ryoma: ::keeps his eyes closed, moving his arms down around Tezuka's back instead of his neck; somehow he's glad that Tezuka isn't lying to him, but that doesn't make things any easier either:: I don't wanna hurt either of you. But I can't... Eiji-sempai said I had to grow up. An' he's right. But I just... I don't wanna lose you. Or whatever this is.
Tezuka: *takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly* It is not ultimately important what I feel for you. Kikumaru is correct in saying that you must face this as an adult - adults must make decisions that can, sometimes, hurt others.
Ryoma: ::frowns, pulling away only a little and looking up:: It *is* important what you feel. I wouldn'tve asked f'it wasn't. I know I've just been... actin' like some little kid waiting for the world to make a decision, but... I want you t'know that I don't *want* to hurt you. I just... ::looks a little lost for a moment:: I made a promise. To Momo. An' I... he's my best friend.
Tezuka: *voice is a bit softer than it has been - he was letting his foul mood seep into this* Promises are important to me and I see them through regardless of the cost. I am not without understanding. *closes his eyes, giving the slightest shake of his head* But it would be underhanded of me to disrespect your promise to Momoshiro by allowing my feelings... *pauses* ...I'm in love with you.
Ryoma: ::blinks rather dumbly for a moment:: I.... ::pauses, feeling like a kid again but he can't look at Tezuka right now, so he glances away, but he doesn't move away at all:: I love you just as much as I love Momo. Suddenly... here you guys were an'... everything I used to be able to ignore I can't... ignore anymore. ::that doesn't solve the problem now, though:: Promises are important.
Tezuka: ... *silently frowns a bit - he's at a complete loss for words despite having so much he wishes to say*
Ryoma: ::glances back up:: I won't go back on my word. But I'm not choosing between you. I can't - there's no way. I won't stop bein' with you just 'cause I'm with him. But this isn't fair - it's not fair to anybody. ::closes his eyes again:: I hate this.
Tezuka: ...*thinking it sounds as though Ryoma is in no position to be in any sort of relationship at all... and adopts his buchou voice quite suddenly* Echizen.
Ryoma: ::starts a little, blinking and glancing up, somehow suddenly feeling like he's in trouble:: What?
Tezuka: What am I to you?
Ryoma: What... ::blinks, but he'll try to answer the question, even if he has no idea how:: You're.... ::fumbles for words a minute, then tries again:: You're what I *want* to be. You're... *how* I want to be. ::frowns:: But... I mean, it's more than that. You're my friend, now. I like spending time with you. I want to spend time with you. You're... something I don't wanna lose.
Tezuka: And what do you think you are to me?
Ryoma: I... ::is ashamed to admit it, but... quietly:: I don't really know. I guess... important. :Tezuka did just say he *loved* him. And he said something like the answer to this a while ago - in the showers:: I guess when I was younger, I always thought I was... I dunno. ::shakes his head, actually flushing just a little:: I never could read you. I don't know.
Tezuka: ...I am important to you, and you are important to me - is this correct? *he does not wait for any sort of answer to the question, moving one hand to brush Ryoma's bangs away from his face* It has been this way since we were younger. *gives a ghost of a smile, though it is a bit hollow - it hurts to try* What makes you think Momoshiro could break that bond between us?
Ryoma: ::suddenly feels horrible at the idea of ever thinking Momo would do something like that:: I... I didn't mean it that way. ::blinks a couple of times, rapidly:: I'm just making this worse. I'm sorry. I... ::sighs:: Told you I wasn't good with words.
Tezuka: ...My point, Ryoma, is that I have not strayed from your side all these years. I have not stopped supporting you, whether you understood my intentions or not. I am not going to, overnight, desert you.
Ryoma: I know. That's not *it* - I feel like I'm the one deserting you. ::frowns:: An' I'm not doin' that either.
Tezuka: ...I don't know what to say to you.
Ryoma: ::shakes his head, looking awfully ashamed:: I think maybe I shoulda had this conversation with the mirror. I didn't mean t'drag you into it. ::runs his hand through his hair, and tries to stop acting like a baby:: I guess I just wanted to... make sure you knew you're important. An' I wanted to know you'd be okay. I'm gonna make the Olympic Team. You're not gonna get rid a'me.
Tezuka: That would make me very proud of you. *smiles, again, warmly this time* I never... expect to be brought down from the pedestal you have me on. So long as I am there, Momoshiro is, indeed, better suited to you.
Ryoma: ::thinks about that... and maybe it's true. And he's taken up enough of Tezuka's time and energy - he'd said he'd keep this short and he's already failed. He feels drained now:: Well... I'd like t'make you proud. An' I never meant to hurt you. I promise. Don't forget that. Even f'it's not important now. ::finally takes a few steps away:: Maybe you won't stay up there forever.
Tezuka: *is hurt - it probably shows in his eyes - though he continues to force the smile on his lips. He's quite practiced at doing the same in reverse - keeping his poker face - but this is more difficult, somehow* You look exhausted. Go rest.
Ryoma: ::sees it, but he doesn't know what else he can do about it, other than leave Tezuka alone for now. He shakes his head:: Not as exhausted as you. ::almost wants to kiss Tezuka's cheek, but that'll just make things worse:: I'm sorry. Lemme know... when you feel like practicing again. ::heads for the door, thinking he'll go find someplace on the grounds to sit. He can't face Momo just yet::
Tezuka: *remains still, not watching Ryoma going to the door* I will be back on schedule, tomorrow. *settles back on the bench, resting his hands over the back of his neck as he tries to get his thoughts together* You are welcome to join me, as always.
Ryoma: Yeah, okay... Tomorrow, then. ::may or may not actually show up, but he'll think about that tomorrow. He pulls open the door and slips out, shutting it quietly behind him, feeling like he's done the right thing and the wrong thing all at once, but it's done and he hopes it'll turn out all right::
Tezuka: *waits a few moments after the door is shut to be certain that Ryoma is truly gone before getting to his feet with a yell and punching at the air. It does not help, but his frustration that has been building in him since yesterday is going to get the better of him if he does not think of something. Silently he melts back to a sit - he will probably remain there for hours yet to come*
---
Date: Wednesday (02/28), 5am
Rating: G
Summary: Ryoma skips practice for a couple days and it doesn't go over well with Tezuka. At all.
Tezuka: *thinks that five in the morning is a perfectly reasonable hour - really. He might have been more lenient if Ryoma had not repeatedly skipped practice. As it stands, he does not even bother to knock before slamming the door of Momo and Ryoma’s room open* Echizen.
Ryoma: ::jumps, blinking, completely confused as momo stirs on the other side of the bed, wondering if maybe it's raining outside and there's thunder or something... his head is very fuzzy::
Tezuka: *goes over to Ryoma’s dresser and finds a practice jersey, a pair of shorts, socks...* Get up. *glances over his shoulder* Now.
Ryoma: ... ::is confused, but somehow processes that it's Buchou, and he's taking out clothes and seems to want him to get up. But it's still dark outside and he doesn't want to practice - or even really *see* Buchou right now; sits up blinking and rubbing one eye:: ... S'still dark...
Tezuka: *throws the clothes at Ryoma and goes through his closet to find a pair of sneakers. If he cares for Ryoma's excuses, it doesn't show*
Ryoma: ::looks at the clothes, then at Tezuka going thorugh his closet:: I don't wanna practice, Buchou.
Tezuka: *finds the shoes, tosses them out the door and just stares at Ryoma, his expression cold*
Ryoma: ::stares, but a nudge from momo finally seems to get him animated; he scowls and slides out of bed, making a face at tezuka and getting changed right there in front of them (and the cameras), grabbing his tennis racket and stalking out the door without bothering to grab a hat::
Tezuka: *gives a slight bow to Momo* Please excuse us. I'm sorry for waking you. *does not wait for Momo's reply before following Ryoma out the door toward the courts*
Ryoma: ::throws his shoes down on the court and sits to put them on, very grumpy-faced indeed:: You might've wanted to give me some *warning*. ::is still tired, his head is too light with not enough sleep, and he really, really doesn't feel like playing any more than he feels like being mad at Buchou, but he doesn't know how else to be right now.
Tezuka: Smooth or rough? *holds out his racquet against the court*
Ryoma: ::Finishes tying his shoes and stands, picking up his own racket and scowling:: Rough.
Tezuka: *spins the racquet, lets it fall* Smooth. My service. *produces a tennis ball from the pocket of his shorts - never mind that it's freezing - and chooses a side of the court*
Ryoma: ::mutters:: Fine. Whatever. ::shivers and drags himself over to the unoccupied side of the court, already dreading the serve. He doesn't care to play right now, and he's cold and tired and he can't even look at Tezuka without feeling nauseous::
Tezuka: *bounces the ball three times, pausing for a moment to steady himself - for a moment, it almost seems like a bad idea to completely destroy Ryoma... but he tosses the ball and starts off with a serve that hits the court and slides harmlessly back toward the net without ever bouncing*
Ryoma: ... ;:blinks dumbly for a moment - he's both amazed and angry at that serve. It's one of Buchou's... well, he never *uses* it. Not in a game like this. mutters, maybe barely loud enough to hear across the court:: ... Thought you wanted to *play*. ::stalks to the net and tosses the ball back to Tezuka, nevermind that he probably has another in his pocket::
Tezuka: *catches the ball, repeating the same process, tossing it in the air* Then play! *the ball, once more, harmlessly slides back to the net*
Ryoma: ... ::He knows he could return that serve. But why bother? The game doesn't seem worth playing right now. Buchou. Not today. ::the adrenaline fueling his anger is dying because he's so tired, and turning into smoldering defeat::
Tezuka: *hurt crosses his expression once more, but it quickly gives way to the same anger that got him this far, and he continues the game as such, not allowing Ryoma so much as a point*
Ryoma: ::Wants to return the serve, but just... can't find it in him to pull out anything much more than a jog right now, and that won't get him to the net fast enough. His body is tense, wanting to play the game, but his mind is too numb. On the last serve, he heads to the net, picking up the ball and setting up his own serve::
Tezuka: *waits patiently on his side of the net, and returns the ball straight to the corner as though effortlessly, already putting the spin on the ball needed to set up Tezuka Zone*
Ryoma: ::returns it once, twice, seeing what Tezuka's doing, but at the moment the only way he can think of to break it is to fumble a return - which isn't hard when he's practically tripping over his own feet. He wordlessly picks up the ball and sets up another serve, this time making it a twist serve, but it's slower than normal::
Tezuka: *merely crouches a bit to return, easily avoiding the trap of the twist serve as he has for years, and once more starts hitting corners, waiting for an opening before dropping a zero-shiki drop shot*
Ryoma: ... Fuck. ::it wasn't anything he didn't expect, but he just can't bring himself to get to the ball fast enough to change its direction. stalks to the net *again* and serves *again*, not bothering to twist it, getting tired of this already, slamming a fast and reckless serve that isn't going to get him anywhere::
Tezuka: *there's speed on the ball, but speed he can also handle - Ryoma hasn't played like this since... since their first game* Echizen. *returns the ball easily* Why do you play tennis?
Ryoma: ::scowls - he's angry with himself, not with Tezuka, and he doesn't feel like being honest this morning:: Because it's the only thing I know how t'do. It's all that matters.::slams it back to the other side of the court::
Tezuka: *takes advantage of that and hits a smash that lands directly on the white line before harmlessly rebounding off the fence beyond Ryoma. His arms are starting to tremble with anger, but he ignores this, forcing calm upon himself* You'll never beat me like that.
Ryoma: ::sighs:: I already know I'm not gonna beat you this morning. ::trudges over to pick up the ball::
Tezuka: *closes his eyes, once more trying to calm himself down* No. You will never beat me with that attitude. *gets back in line to return the serve* Come.
Ryoma: Maybe I don't wanna beat you, all right? ::bounces the ball:: Maybe I don't feel like playing this morning. F'it's even *morning* yet. ::serves again, another angry serve::
Tezuka: *hits the ball back furiously, once more - it zips past Ryoma's cheek and hits the far corner of the court, another easy point. He says nothing, moving over to Ryoma's side of the court to do a change of court*
Ryoma: ::blinks barely in time to see the ball blur past his face, his cheek stinging as Tezuka takes his side of the court and obviously expects him to do the same. He does so, grudgingly - he wants to play, he wants this to be like normal, he wants to remember why he loves this game, and loves playing it with Tezuka... but he just can't, right now. It's too daunting a prospect:: Just serve.
Tezuka: *does as requested, this time using his normal - if not very quick - serve*
Ryoma: ::is honestly... relieved, returning it with some of his natural ease and talent sneaking through - he's still tired, and still doesn't feel like playing this game, but he might as well hit the ball as long as Tezuka's not serving freaking zero shikis at him::
Tezuka: *once more sets up Tezuka Zone, knowing very well that Ryoma is capable of breaking it - and he wants him to - this game has been a joke*
Ryoma: ::is sick of these stupid tricks, almost breaking it twice, but waffling, before just letting a shot go past him so Tezuka will just win the point and serve again. His head is starting to hurt as he throws the ball back in Tezuka's direction::
Tezuka: ... *has completely had it - Ryoma showed a bit of spunk, but it was not enough. He pulls out all the stops and proceeds to mercilessly wipe the court with Ryoma, never allowing so much as a point by the time he has taken six games*
Ryoma: ::is quite tired - tired of this match, tired of chasing balls around, tired because he wants to go back to bed; he's sweating by now and quite scuffed and scraped up after finally working up the will to dive for a couple of balls towards the end. He's glad this is over, though, almost forgetting to approach the net for a handshake::
Tezuka: *goes to the net offering his hand - his eyes are completely lacking emotion, and he has not so much as broken a sweat*
Ryoma: ::just ducks his head and shakes Tezuka's hand, wanting to run away as soon as possible::
Tezuka: *lets go of Ryoma's hand too quickly as though he was burned, scowling* Echizen. You are not qualified for my team.
Ryoma: ::blinks, finally glancing up at Tezuka... obviously not able to explain his performance this morning, but feeling like he shouldn't have to. Why Tezuka doesn't understand he needs some time when *Tezuka* should need it more is...::Buchou... look...
Tezuka: I will be withdrawing my recommendation. *tests the strings of his racquet* You will not be late to practice tomorrow morning.
Ryoma: ... ::is just... dumbstruck for more than just a moment - he feels like he's going to cry or throw something or scream, but he doesn't do any of that - just turns on his heel and heads back inside:: Fine. ::he forgot his racket and doesn't care::
Tezuka: *pauses a moment before leaning down to pick up Ryoma's racquet, feeling a bit like he might cry, too. He sets both racquets aside in his tennis bag and starts out on his morning run*
Date: Sunday (02/25), evening
Rating: G
Summary: ...Um. Ryoma rejects Tezuka. Kinda. Something like that. >>;
Tezuka: *notices there is not longer sufficient light coming from the windows to read by and checks his watch - dinner is probably over... which means Ryoma has headed over to the pool house. After a bit of deliberation, Tezuka leaves the library and goes out to find Ryoma. He enters the pool house quietly, ignoring that even turning the knob of the door hurts his abused arms just a bit* Echizen?
Ryoma: ::Starts a little as the door opens - he hadn't been keeping track of time, but he's been in here at least an hour already, judging by the way the sun's already nearly set. He glances up as Tezuka enters, setting aside the piece of rope he'd been tying and untying in an effort to stave off nerves:: Yeah. ::pause:: Look... I know s'not a really good time for you. I'll try to...keep it short.
Tezuka: ... *wonders if he really seemed that irritable with what little he had spoken to Ryoma... though perhaps that was it, exactly. He does appreciate the sentiment of being concise, but...* I have time for you.
Ryoma: Yeah... okay... ::runs a hand through his hair and gets up, pacing around a little, not staying still:: Look. It's just... ::he's gone over the words a million times in his head but it's a lot harder to actually say them:: You're the one who told me to talk to Momo. An' I did. An' then a few days later... you said all that other stuff to me. An' then I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Tezuka: ...*settles on the bench in the middle of the room, crossing one leg over the other and remaining quite still by comparison* My timing was not brilliant.
Ryoma: ::half-laughs, half-sighs:: Well... I mean, s'not your fault. I know you said you wouldn't, an' I said that was fine, an' now's a bad time, but... I know what I said, but I also know I haven't been *doing* what I said. I don't even know f'you've noticed. Hell, *I* don't even notice I'm doin' it sometimes. But I can't... There's somethin' goin' on an' I need to know f'it's gotta stop.
Tezuka: ...? *folds his arms over his chest*
Ryoma: ::sighs, stops pacing, runs a hand through his hair:: ... Look. Buchou. ::pause:: Kunimitsu. You know I'm not... really good with words. So. ::sighs, then looks up into Tezuka's eyes, not flinching even if he isn't sure this really is a good idea:: You said you'd do anything I asked. So I gotta request. ::another pause:: I want you to kiss me.
Tezuka: *just stares at Ryoma, his shoulders tensing. He seems to be hearing those words rather a lot this weekend, though that thought slips away as he slowly unfolds his legs and arms and stands. It is not as though he would say no even without what he said before* You're certain?
Ryoma: ::honestly hadn't expected it to be that easy, but doesn't outwardly show his surprise. He nods, stepping a little closer, nervous because he's obviously having trouble saying what he wants with words, but he doesn't know if Tezuka will understand it in actions any better:: Yeah. Lemme just... show you. ::isn't going to move again until Tezuka does, though - this is still up to Tezuka::
Tezuka: *finds this all very baffling - especially given the words he had spoken (and very much believed) to Sengoku. He rests one hand lightly to Ryoma's cheek with a sinking feeling in his stomach as though someone has just thrown a rock down his throat. Still... he bends to close the remaining distance between them*
Ryoma: ::helps by standing on tiptoes, wrapping arms around Tezuka's neck and kisses him, trying to put all his frustration and his passion for Tezuka - and Momo - into this one kiss, because he needs to show Tezuka what he feels... and he needs to know what Tezuka feels. And if any of this means anything to him, before Ryoma potentially gives it all up::
Tezuka: *is startled, initially, but quickly recovers, returning the kiss with matching passion as some part of his brain shuts off. His arms curl around Ryoma's back to help ease some of the strain on his feet and he feels himself fall into the comfortable mindset that often consumes him on the court - his love and passion for tennis really... is not that different than what he feels for Ryoma*
Ryoma: ::wasn't sure what to expect from Tezuka, honestly, but is distinctly relieved when he doesn't immediately pull away - or push Ryoma away. He's barely thinking, lost in the kiss and in the way Tezuka feels, trying to memorize it, and drag this moment out until they need to break to breathe, sliding down to rest his forehead against Tezuka's chest, closing his eyes and silent a moment::
Tezuka: *catches his breath and tries to mentally coax his heart into calming down. His arms linger around Ryoma's back which seems to be directly detrimental to processing all that is happening, but it's comfortable*
Ryoma: ::remains standing against Tezuka, as long as it seems okay, but he's got to say something:: I just... I gotta know why you told me now. I mean... ::laughs a little:: It sounds really self-centered. But I need to know f'you'll be okay f'I walk out that door an' date Momo. For real. ::takes a deep breath:: What d'you want? Am I bein' stupid an' making stuff up? Do you even want anything from me? ::it didn't feel like Tezuka *doesn't*, given that kiss, but...::
Tezuka: *is quiet for a moment before hugging Ryoma a bit tighter to his chest* I knew you had made this decision, Ryoma. *studies the wall as though it were fascinating while he collects his thoughts* However, I cannot answer that question without either lying to you or... saying more than I ought to say.
Ryoma: ::keeps his eyes closed, moving his arms down around Tezuka's back instead of his neck; somehow he's glad that Tezuka isn't lying to him, but that doesn't make things any easier either:: I don't wanna hurt either of you. But I can't... Eiji-sempai said I had to grow up. An' he's right. But I just... I don't wanna lose you. Or whatever this is.
Tezuka: *takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly* It is not ultimately important what I feel for you. Kikumaru is correct in saying that you must face this as an adult - adults must make decisions that can, sometimes, hurt others.
Ryoma: ::frowns, pulling away only a little and looking up:: It *is* important what you feel. I wouldn'tve asked f'it wasn't. I know I've just been... actin' like some little kid waiting for the world to make a decision, but... I want you t'know that I don't *want* to hurt you. I just... ::looks a little lost for a moment:: I made a promise. To Momo. An' I... he's my best friend.
Tezuka: *voice is a bit softer than it has been - he was letting his foul mood seep into this* Promises are important to me and I see them through regardless of the cost. I am not without understanding. *closes his eyes, giving the slightest shake of his head* But it would be underhanded of me to disrespect your promise to Momoshiro by allowing my feelings... *pauses* ...I'm in love with you.
Ryoma: ::blinks rather dumbly for a moment:: I.... ::pauses, feeling like a kid again but he can't look at Tezuka right now, so he glances away, but he doesn't move away at all:: I love you just as much as I love Momo. Suddenly... here you guys were an'... everything I used to be able to ignore I can't... ignore anymore. ::that doesn't solve the problem now, though:: Promises are important.
Tezuka: ... *silently frowns a bit - he's at a complete loss for words despite having so much he wishes to say*
Ryoma: ::glances back up:: I won't go back on my word. But I'm not choosing between you. I can't - there's no way. I won't stop bein' with you just 'cause I'm with him. But this isn't fair - it's not fair to anybody. ::closes his eyes again:: I hate this.
Tezuka: ...*thinking it sounds as though Ryoma is in no position to be in any sort of relationship at all... and adopts his buchou voice quite suddenly* Echizen.
Ryoma: ::starts a little, blinking and glancing up, somehow suddenly feeling like he's in trouble:: What?
Tezuka: What am I to you?
Ryoma: What... ::blinks, but he'll try to answer the question, even if he has no idea how:: You're.... ::fumbles for words a minute, then tries again:: You're what I *want* to be. You're... *how* I want to be. ::frowns:: But... I mean, it's more than that. You're my friend, now. I like spending time with you. I want to spend time with you. You're... something I don't wanna lose.
Tezuka: And what do you think you are to me?
Ryoma: I... ::is ashamed to admit it, but... quietly:: I don't really know. I guess... important. :Tezuka did just say he *loved* him. And he said something like the answer to this a while ago - in the showers:: I guess when I was younger, I always thought I was... I dunno. ::shakes his head, actually flushing just a little:: I never could read you. I don't know.
Tezuka: ...I am important to you, and you are important to me - is this correct? *he does not wait for any sort of answer to the question, moving one hand to brush Ryoma's bangs away from his face* It has been this way since we were younger. *gives a ghost of a smile, though it is a bit hollow - it hurts to try* What makes you think Momoshiro could break that bond between us?
Ryoma: ::suddenly feels horrible at the idea of ever thinking Momo would do something like that:: I... I didn't mean it that way. ::blinks a couple of times, rapidly:: I'm just making this worse. I'm sorry. I... ::sighs:: Told you I wasn't good with words.
Tezuka: ...My point, Ryoma, is that I have not strayed from your side all these years. I have not stopped supporting you, whether you understood my intentions or not. I am not going to, overnight, desert you.
Ryoma: I know. That's not *it* - I feel like I'm the one deserting you. ::frowns:: An' I'm not doin' that either.
Tezuka: ...I don't know what to say to you.
Ryoma: ::shakes his head, looking awfully ashamed:: I think maybe I shoulda had this conversation with the mirror. I didn't mean t'drag you into it. ::runs his hand through his hair, and tries to stop acting like a baby:: I guess I just wanted to... make sure you knew you're important. An' I wanted to know you'd be okay. I'm gonna make the Olympic Team. You're not gonna get rid a'me.
Tezuka: That would make me very proud of you. *smiles, again, warmly this time* I never... expect to be brought down from the pedestal you have me on. So long as I am there, Momoshiro is, indeed, better suited to you.
Ryoma: ::thinks about that... and maybe it's true. And he's taken up enough of Tezuka's time and energy - he'd said he'd keep this short and he's already failed. He feels drained now:: Well... I'd like t'make you proud. An' I never meant to hurt you. I promise. Don't forget that. Even f'it's not important now. ::finally takes a few steps away:: Maybe you won't stay up there forever.
Tezuka: *is hurt - it probably shows in his eyes - though he continues to force the smile on his lips. He's quite practiced at doing the same in reverse - keeping his poker face - but this is more difficult, somehow* You look exhausted. Go rest.
Ryoma: ::sees it, but he doesn't know what else he can do about it, other than leave Tezuka alone for now. He shakes his head:: Not as exhausted as you. ::almost wants to kiss Tezuka's cheek, but that'll just make things worse:: I'm sorry. Lemme know... when you feel like practicing again. ::heads for the door, thinking he'll go find someplace on the grounds to sit. He can't face Momo just yet::
Tezuka: *remains still, not watching Ryoma going to the door* I will be back on schedule, tomorrow. *settles back on the bench, resting his hands over the back of his neck as he tries to get his thoughts together* You are welcome to join me, as always.
Ryoma: Yeah, okay... Tomorrow, then. ::may or may not actually show up, but he'll think about that tomorrow. He pulls open the door and slips out, shutting it quietly behind him, feeling like he's done the right thing and the wrong thing all at once, but it's done and he hopes it'll turn out all right::
Tezuka: *waits a few moments after the door is shut to be certain that Ryoma is truly gone before getting to his feet with a yell and punching at the air. It does not help, but his frustration that has been building in him since yesterday is going to get the better of him if he does not think of something. Silently he melts back to a sit - he will probably remain there for hours yet to come*
---
Date: Wednesday (02/28), 5am
Rating: G
Summary: Ryoma skips practice for a couple days and it doesn't go over well with Tezuka. At all.
Tezuka: *thinks that five in the morning is a perfectly reasonable hour - really. He might have been more lenient if Ryoma had not repeatedly skipped practice. As it stands, he does not even bother to knock before slamming the door of Momo and Ryoma’s room open* Echizen.
Ryoma: ::jumps, blinking, completely confused as momo stirs on the other side of the bed, wondering if maybe it's raining outside and there's thunder or something... his head is very fuzzy::
Tezuka: *goes over to Ryoma’s dresser and finds a practice jersey, a pair of shorts, socks...* Get up. *glances over his shoulder* Now.
Ryoma: ... ::is confused, but somehow processes that it's Buchou, and he's taking out clothes and seems to want him to get up. But it's still dark outside and he doesn't want to practice - or even really *see* Buchou right now; sits up blinking and rubbing one eye:: ... S'still dark...
Tezuka: *throws the clothes at Ryoma and goes through his closet to find a pair of sneakers. If he cares for Ryoma's excuses, it doesn't show*
Ryoma: ::looks at the clothes, then at Tezuka going thorugh his closet:: I don't wanna practice, Buchou.
Tezuka: *finds the shoes, tosses them out the door and just stares at Ryoma, his expression cold*
Ryoma: ::stares, but a nudge from momo finally seems to get him animated; he scowls and slides out of bed, making a face at tezuka and getting changed right there in front of them (and the cameras), grabbing his tennis racket and stalking out the door without bothering to grab a hat::
Tezuka: *gives a slight bow to Momo* Please excuse us. I'm sorry for waking you. *does not wait for Momo's reply before following Ryoma out the door toward the courts*
Ryoma: ::throws his shoes down on the court and sits to put them on, very grumpy-faced indeed:: You might've wanted to give me some *warning*. ::is still tired, his head is too light with not enough sleep, and he really, really doesn't feel like playing any more than he feels like being mad at Buchou, but he doesn't know how else to be right now.
Tezuka: Smooth or rough? *holds out his racquet against the court*
Ryoma: ::Finishes tying his shoes and stands, picking up his own racket and scowling:: Rough.
Tezuka: *spins the racquet, lets it fall* Smooth. My service. *produces a tennis ball from the pocket of his shorts - never mind that it's freezing - and chooses a side of the court*
Ryoma: ::mutters:: Fine. Whatever. ::shivers and drags himself over to the unoccupied side of the court, already dreading the serve. He doesn't care to play right now, and he's cold and tired and he can't even look at Tezuka without feeling nauseous::
Tezuka: *bounces the ball three times, pausing for a moment to steady himself - for a moment, it almost seems like a bad idea to completely destroy Ryoma... but he tosses the ball and starts off with a serve that hits the court and slides harmlessly back toward the net without ever bouncing*
Ryoma: ... ;:blinks dumbly for a moment - he's both amazed and angry at that serve. It's one of Buchou's... well, he never *uses* it. Not in a game like this. mutters, maybe barely loud enough to hear across the court:: ... Thought you wanted to *play*. ::stalks to the net and tosses the ball back to Tezuka, nevermind that he probably has another in his pocket::
Tezuka: *catches the ball, repeating the same process, tossing it in the air* Then play! *the ball, once more, harmlessly slides back to the net*
Ryoma: ... ::He knows he could return that serve. But why bother? The game doesn't seem worth playing right now. Buchou. Not today. ::the adrenaline fueling his anger is dying because he's so tired, and turning into smoldering defeat::
Tezuka: *hurt crosses his expression once more, but it quickly gives way to the same anger that got him this far, and he continues the game as such, not allowing Ryoma so much as a point*
Ryoma: ::Wants to return the serve, but just... can't find it in him to pull out anything much more than a jog right now, and that won't get him to the net fast enough. His body is tense, wanting to play the game, but his mind is too numb. On the last serve, he heads to the net, picking up the ball and setting up his own serve::
Tezuka: *waits patiently on his side of the net, and returns the ball straight to the corner as though effortlessly, already putting the spin on the ball needed to set up Tezuka Zone*
Ryoma: ::returns it once, twice, seeing what Tezuka's doing, but at the moment the only way he can think of to break it is to fumble a return - which isn't hard when he's practically tripping over his own feet. He wordlessly picks up the ball and sets up another serve, this time making it a twist serve, but it's slower than normal::
Tezuka: *merely crouches a bit to return, easily avoiding the trap of the twist serve as he has for years, and once more starts hitting corners, waiting for an opening before dropping a zero-shiki drop shot*
Ryoma: ... Fuck. ::it wasn't anything he didn't expect, but he just can't bring himself to get to the ball fast enough to change its direction. stalks to the net *again* and serves *again*, not bothering to twist it, getting tired of this already, slamming a fast and reckless serve that isn't going to get him anywhere::
Tezuka: *there's speed on the ball, but speed he can also handle - Ryoma hasn't played like this since... since their first game* Echizen. *returns the ball easily* Why do you play tennis?
Ryoma: ::scowls - he's angry with himself, not with Tezuka, and he doesn't feel like being honest this morning:: Because it's the only thing I know how t'do. It's all that matters.::slams it back to the other side of the court::
Tezuka: *takes advantage of that and hits a smash that lands directly on the white line before harmlessly rebounding off the fence beyond Ryoma. His arms are starting to tremble with anger, but he ignores this, forcing calm upon himself* You'll never beat me like that.
Ryoma: ::sighs:: I already know I'm not gonna beat you this morning. ::trudges over to pick up the ball::
Tezuka: *closes his eyes, once more trying to calm himself down* No. You will never beat me with that attitude. *gets back in line to return the serve* Come.
Ryoma: Maybe I don't wanna beat you, all right? ::bounces the ball:: Maybe I don't feel like playing this morning. F'it's even *morning* yet. ::serves again, another angry serve::
Tezuka: *hits the ball back furiously, once more - it zips past Ryoma's cheek and hits the far corner of the court, another easy point. He says nothing, moving over to Ryoma's side of the court to do a change of court*
Ryoma: ::blinks barely in time to see the ball blur past his face, his cheek stinging as Tezuka takes his side of the court and obviously expects him to do the same. He does so, grudgingly - he wants to play, he wants this to be like normal, he wants to remember why he loves this game, and loves playing it with Tezuka... but he just can't, right now. It's too daunting a prospect:: Just serve.
Tezuka: *does as requested, this time using his normal - if not very quick - serve*
Ryoma: ::is honestly... relieved, returning it with some of his natural ease and talent sneaking through - he's still tired, and still doesn't feel like playing this game, but he might as well hit the ball as long as Tezuka's not serving freaking zero shikis at him::
Tezuka: *once more sets up Tezuka Zone, knowing very well that Ryoma is capable of breaking it - and he wants him to - this game has been a joke*
Ryoma: ::is sick of these stupid tricks, almost breaking it twice, but waffling, before just letting a shot go past him so Tezuka will just win the point and serve again. His head is starting to hurt as he throws the ball back in Tezuka's direction::
Tezuka: ... *has completely had it - Ryoma showed a bit of spunk, but it was not enough. He pulls out all the stops and proceeds to mercilessly wipe the court with Ryoma, never allowing so much as a point by the time he has taken six games*
Ryoma: ::is quite tired - tired of this match, tired of chasing balls around, tired because he wants to go back to bed; he's sweating by now and quite scuffed and scraped up after finally working up the will to dive for a couple of balls towards the end. He's glad this is over, though, almost forgetting to approach the net for a handshake::
Tezuka: *goes to the net offering his hand - his eyes are completely lacking emotion, and he has not so much as broken a sweat*
Ryoma: ::just ducks his head and shakes Tezuka's hand, wanting to run away as soon as possible::
Tezuka: *lets go of Ryoma's hand too quickly as though he was burned, scowling* Echizen. You are not qualified for my team.
Ryoma: ::blinks, finally glancing up at Tezuka... obviously not able to explain his performance this morning, but feeling like he shouldn't have to. Why Tezuka doesn't understand he needs some time when *Tezuka* should need it more is...::Buchou... look...
Tezuka: I will be withdrawing my recommendation. *tests the strings of his racquet* You will not be late to practice tomorrow morning.
Ryoma: ... ::is just... dumbstruck for more than just a moment - he feels like he's going to cry or throw something or scream, but he doesn't do any of that - just turns on his heel and heads back inside:: Fine. ::he forgot his racket and doesn't care::
Tezuka: *pauses a moment before leaning down to pick up Ryoma's racquet, feeling a bit like he might cry, too. He sets both racquets aside in his tennis bag and starts out on his morning run*