Rewrite

[second_snow]

Wheee! French is strange. But at least I am doing decently well in the class. Strangely enough, I ran out of things to read this afternoon. Luckily - or unluckily - I found a long list of fanfics to cover the time until I can get the next book in the Dresden series. Or perhaps I should begin the Yakuza book I bought... Hnn! Decisions

Comments

[shinj4]

Hey, hope you had fun watching anime! How many languages are you planning on becoming fluent in?

I read that poem 3 times and i kept reading it fast. Maybe a play with the line breaks/pauses? Otherwise, it looks good. Oh and i thought you could increase the word play by replacing 'dawn' in "Awaiting the dawn of redemption" with 'sun' instead.

[second_snow]

Five languages! Although I wouldn't mind having a decent background in six or more. Maybe I'll learn a language from each continent. ;)

How about switiching "Dreams of light flutter through the leaves" to "Dreams of dawn flutter through the leaves" and then replacing "Awaiting the dawn of redemption" with "Awaiting the light of redemption"?