(no subject)
'Cause I'll LOSE IT, here's some depressing headcanon brainstorming thanks to 5 things meme, lols.
Warning some of these are VERY INCOHERENT and I'm too exhausted to go over it all properly, wee.
♦ Zack and Cloud spent 5 years in captivity. This is a LONG TIME. They were probably both completely fucknuts for one of these years, implied from Zack's magical Lifestream adventures. They were, however, conscious for most of this time. This blends together now for Cloud, but he spent the equivalent of High School as an experiment. Or rather, "Sample A."
♦ Hojo is a bad enough dude to think YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE FUN? TURNING THIS TURK INTO A TURKSICORN AFTER I IMPREGNATED HIS GIRL WITH AN ALIEN FOR SCIENCE! This dude had Zack and Cloud for five years. There is no way they were under for the majority of it; that's no fun! It didn't matter what the little soldier had managed to do to Sephiroth, he would have been tossed aside if he was comatose the whole time. Why would Hojo limit his study like that? There's mental thresholds to be explored, and Jenova needs to work on an active mind! Hojo + vegetables = NO. Way too boring.
♦ Hojo was studying Zack and Cloud's relationship, in the same way one would study two bears kept in captivity. The stronger specimen is protective of the weaker one! How interesting! Maybe Jenova could manifest if we break his mind. We gave Sample B the option of killing Sample A in return for some fresh air, but he very stubbornly refused. Really, he got quite violent! What a rowdy sample.
♦ Cloud responded to mako treatments as one who receives medication and experiences every single fine print side effect, partially because he was refused any of the usual precautions to deliberately put strain on his mind. Cloud was barely hanging in there sometimes, as introducing Jenova to his system was an incredible strain on him. Eventually this upgraded to barely hanging in there most of the time.
♦ Cloud and Zack were given a lot of time together directly. More to study, since the Jenova project is so directly linked with the effect on the mind, and they effect each other's minds so strongly. After they realized time with Zack dramatically sped up Cloud's recovery process between treatments, Zack was used as a type of control element for Cloud.
♦ The first few years were more of a variety of experiments, trying lots of different things, because that kept the data going and they learned that much faster! the last year involved longer spells of being separated and being together, more of a routine, with the same things being done to them over and over. This is what eventually broke Cloud, because he lost track. At one point he wasn't sure where he was, what age he was or who was talking to him: Zack, Hojo, Tifa, Jenova, or his mom. Luckily it was Zack, who kept talking to him until Cloud was able to pin it down and pull out of it again. This was a close call.
♦ Scene: The two of them talking shortly after Cloud has received a severe dose of mako to increase how susceptible he is to Jenova. Cloud's got the shakes and his eyes are glowing dramatically, like every fresh SOLDIER's eyes when they get their initial treatments but way too bright. Zack holds him and ruffles his hair and asks him how it feels, sympathizes because he totally felt shitty the first few times too, and hey, he guesses this makes him a new recruit, huh? They can go out on missions together when this is all over. Cloud kinda laughs, and Zack encourages him more just like he's a new SOLDIER getting his standards. Because really, you're doing great, and you'd be doing so much better normally! If we weren't so cooped up you'd be doing a lot better, Cloud, what are they thinking, you have to go out running and work the adrenaline out and get fresh air. Cloud's responses slowly turn from a dull muttering of "Guess I'm not cut out for this after all," to an animated "I don't want to go running with you, you'll just stop to pick up girls we pass."
♦ They talk to each other, Zack makes light of it and talks about how they'll escape, and Cloud focuses on that. He becomes the personification of "Everything will be okay." With Zack GONE, the ground underneath him is gone and it's no surprise he cracks in the direction he does.
♦ Scene: Zack and Cloud together in a white room with observation glass. Cloud's just kinda fritzed out, and there's no furniture in there, so Zack's got him propped up against him while he sits back against the wall, talking him through it until Cloud's stable again. The two of them talk like this or stay quiet in spells, "talking about weather they can't see," this has become their life and when they're together is the most real it gets. Sometimes it's for a few days while there's no testing, and Hojo just has his staff observing the social aspects of the samples; they're watching for any signs of Jenova affecting reasoning, but by this point they've got lots of side observations to make too since that one hasn't been doing so well. It's getting more and more blurred for Cloud, where he's starting to trail off in his sentences without any meaning or reason, or doesn't always really KNOW that he's awake. Suddenly he starts talking about things where he has no idea of the meaning, the tone of his voice a little off, and he's startled to see Zack suddenly staring at him in shock and asks him what's wrong. Immediately, scientists rush in and take Cloud away. Zack doesn't see him for days.
♦ Cloud starts coming back worse every time, and it's a back and forth of treatments and study, because they need to see what will happen and Hojo doesn't want to break his precious Sample, just indulge in the process. But at the same time, what will he do? What can he handle? Where is that breaking point, for each of them? So the treatments get worse, and as Zack proves he's not taking, they start deliberately keeping him healthier as a control element for the subject. Sample A is for Jenova on a weak broken vessel, sample B is for Jenova on a strong one, like Sephiroth.
♦ Once Zack proves he's just not taking to Jenova after the first few years (useless idiot sample), then he doesn't have to worry about other experiments on Zack interfering with the Jenova project. Not that Hojo exactly believes in controlled experiments. Anyway fucking with Zack becomes another pasttime study. He lays out traps that Zack barrels right into with the promise that with this completion, either Cloud or both of them would be free. Or just kill Cloud and you'll be free! Or even administer some of the tests! I'm sure he'd take to it better if he saw a familiar face during the procedure~ Cloud is made very aware of these options being given to Zack, and knows he is the reason Zack is still trapped. This really only gets to Cloud because he's so unstable. He knows Zack. And he knows there's no way they'd let him go anyway. But still. . .
♦ Cloud and Zack jesused a few of the scientists working with this project. It never once crossed Hojo's mind to think of them as anything but samples; he can still call them by name, especially when he's trying to get them to react in a certain way, but they are lab rats. But after YEARS of working with these two, he had to get rid of a few assistants. Only the coldest crazy-ass scientists were kept on. They were all briefed, they've got Milgram's going for them, they're professional ShinRa grade-A evil scientists! But being brought into that project and watching the experiments, watching the social study, watching the bond between the two subjects survive and survive Hojo's experiments - a few people broke really early and got replaced. A few stuck it out!
But then Cloud is just in such bad, fluctuating shape, quiet and breaking but doing his best, and the way he looks at them when they feed him or give him booster shots like he's starved for even some shred of a sign of humanity in the clinical words they're giving him - some can't help but offer a little empathy now and then. Contact of skin on skin, just a hand clasping his forearm briefly. Cloud gives off the most powerful "YOU ARE HARMING A DYING KITTEN" rays there are. And then there's Zack - Zack just constantly talks, even to his aggressors, asking questions about their day and the weather and the project. They can't say MUCH but it's not like they've been briefed for this kind of cheerful attitude, because it's so absurd for a sample to act like this that there's no rules for handling it. He just wants to TALK because that's his own way of staying sane, like he's not remotely an experiment and they're not giving him horrible drugs. Or they're not giving his friend something worse, for that matter. The way he looks at them like they don't have to do this, like they know better, and please don't, come on man lay off him for a day, wears some of them down.
Of course, some he just never got to, because the WORST ones are the ones who can just talk casually back for years to Zack's chatter, and never remotely see him as human. And those are the ones Hojo kept on the project. :)
♦ Cloud was declared a failed experiment when he became completely comatose. This is when Hojo lost interest in the project and pulled out. Security lightened, and Zack got his chance to bust them out not too long afterwards. Or a year afterwards - Zack and Cloud are fuzzy as to how long that actually lasted.
♦ Scene: A few months after Cloud stopped showing any cognitive responses, Cloud was being dragged out for more tests at the same time Zack was being put back into suspension. Zack - not exactly all there himself at the time - lashed out towards him, knocked him away from the scientists, and hovered over him protectively to the scientists' bafflement considering he was already so drugged. He had the whole place in an uproar until they finally shot up with tranquilizers powerful to knock out a marlboro, and pried Cloud out of his unconscious arms. This is one of those fuzzy moments Cloud remembers from his time with mako poisoning. The moment was so striking that Cloud held onto him when they pulled them apart, and he even said Zack's name. Shocked, the scientists put them together again to see if Zack could pull Cloud out of the coma, but nothing really worked. Still, it kept the scientists busy for a while after Hojo had stopped overseeing the project.
♦ Zack is his own special brand of nutsoid after this. You can stay positive through 5 years of Hojoscience, and then talk to your completely comatose buddy while you drag him across two continents and an ocean. And you can be completely 100% sure he can hear you the whole time, despite no signs or responses. And you would be adorable, the best friend ever, and you would be right! But also kinda off.
♦ Because Cloud kinda skipped some development for five years of captivity and an end stretch of being a few pyreflies short of a Farplane, Cloud is still socially a teenager. He's grown up more since post-game, but he's still only 19-ish.
♦ Now that Cloud has sorted out his memories, he remembers all of this. Not specifically, it blurs (the memories of Zack talking to him while he was comatose are especially choppy), but nothing is repressed anymore. He has a huge pile of disjointed memories (the events, but not always the time; as he lost track of those things, his memories blur too) of the two surviving the ordeal.
Warning some of these are VERY INCOHERENT and I'm too exhausted to go over it all properly, wee.
♦ Zack and Cloud spent 5 years in captivity. This is a LONG TIME. They were probably both completely fucknuts for one of these years, implied from Zack's magical Lifestream adventures. They were, however, conscious for most of this time. This blends together now for Cloud, but he spent the equivalent of High School as an experiment. Or rather, "Sample A."
♦ Hojo is a bad enough dude to think YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE FUN? TURNING THIS TURK INTO A TURKSICORN AFTER I IMPREGNATED HIS GIRL WITH AN ALIEN FOR SCIENCE! This dude had Zack and Cloud for five years. There is no way they were under for the majority of it; that's no fun! It didn't matter what the little soldier had managed to do to Sephiroth, he would have been tossed aside if he was comatose the whole time. Why would Hojo limit his study like that? There's mental thresholds to be explored, and Jenova needs to work on an active mind! Hojo + vegetables = NO. Way too boring.
♦ Hojo was studying Zack and Cloud's relationship, in the same way one would study two bears kept in captivity. The stronger specimen is protective of the weaker one! How interesting! Maybe Jenova could manifest if we break his mind. We gave Sample B the option of killing Sample A in return for some fresh air, but he very stubbornly refused. Really, he got quite violent! What a rowdy sample.
♦ Cloud responded to mako treatments as one who receives medication and experiences every single fine print side effect, partially because he was refused any of the usual precautions to deliberately put strain on his mind. Cloud was barely hanging in there sometimes, as introducing Jenova to his system was an incredible strain on him. Eventually this upgraded to barely hanging in there most of the time.
♦ Cloud and Zack were given a lot of time together directly. More to study, since the Jenova project is so directly linked with the effect on the mind, and they effect each other's minds so strongly. After they realized time with Zack dramatically sped up Cloud's recovery process between treatments, Zack was used as a type of control element for Cloud.
♦ The first few years were more of a variety of experiments, trying lots of different things, because that kept the data going and they learned that much faster! the last year involved longer spells of being separated and being together, more of a routine, with the same things being done to them over and over. This is what eventually broke Cloud, because he lost track. At one point he wasn't sure where he was, what age he was or who was talking to him: Zack, Hojo, Tifa, Jenova, or his mom. Luckily it was Zack, who kept talking to him until Cloud was able to pin it down and pull out of it again. This was a close call.
♦ Scene: The two of them talking shortly after Cloud has received a severe dose of mako to increase how susceptible he is to Jenova. Cloud's got the shakes and his eyes are glowing dramatically, like every fresh SOLDIER's eyes when they get their initial treatments but way too bright. Zack holds him and ruffles his hair and asks him how it feels, sympathizes because he totally felt shitty the first few times too, and hey, he guesses this makes him a new recruit, huh? They can go out on missions together when this is all over. Cloud kinda laughs, and Zack encourages him more just like he's a new SOLDIER getting his standards. Because really, you're doing great, and you'd be doing so much better normally! If we weren't so cooped up you'd be doing a lot better, Cloud, what are they thinking, you have to go out running and work the adrenaline out and get fresh air. Cloud's responses slowly turn from a dull muttering of "Guess I'm not cut out for this after all," to an animated "I don't want to go running with you, you'll just stop to pick up girls we pass."
♦ They talk to each other, Zack makes light of it and talks about how they'll escape, and Cloud focuses on that. He becomes the personification of "Everything will be okay." With Zack GONE, the ground underneath him is gone and it's no surprise he cracks in the direction he does.
♦ Scene: Zack and Cloud together in a white room with observation glass. Cloud's just kinda fritzed out, and there's no furniture in there, so Zack's got him propped up against him while he sits back against the wall, talking him through it until Cloud's stable again. The two of them talk like this or stay quiet in spells, "talking about weather they can't see," this has become their life and when they're together is the most real it gets. Sometimes it's for a few days while there's no testing, and Hojo just has his staff observing the social aspects of the samples; they're watching for any signs of Jenova affecting reasoning, but by this point they've got lots of side observations to make too since that one hasn't been doing so well. It's getting more and more blurred for Cloud, where he's starting to trail off in his sentences without any meaning or reason, or doesn't always really KNOW that he's awake. Suddenly he starts talking about things where he has no idea of the meaning, the tone of his voice a little off, and he's startled to see Zack suddenly staring at him in shock and asks him what's wrong. Immediately, scientists rush in and take Cloud away. Zack doesn't see him for days.
♦ Cloud starts coming back worse every time, and it's a back and forth of treatments and study, because they need to see what will happen and Hojo doesn't want to break his precious Sample, just indulge in the process. But at the same time, what will he do? What can he handle? Where is that breaking point, for each of them? So the treatments get worse, and as Zack proves he's not taking, they start deliberately keeping him healthier as a control element for the subject. Sample A is for Jenova on a weak broken vessel, sample B is for Jenova on a strong one, like Sephiroth.
♦ Once Zack proves he's just not taking to Jenova after the first few years (useless idiot sample), then he doesn't have to worry about other experiments on Zack interfering with the Jenova project. Not that Hojo exactly believes in controlled experiments. Anyway fucking with Zack becomes another pasttime study. He lays out traps that Zack barrels right into with the promise that with this completion, either Cloud or both of them would be free. Or just kill Cloud and you'll be free! Or even administer some of the tests! I'm sure he'd take to it better if he saw a familiar face during the procedure~ Cloud is made very aware of these options being given to Zack, and knows he is the reason Zack is still trapped. This really only gets to Cloud because he's so unstable. He knows Zack. And he knows there's no way they'd let him go anyway. But still. . .
♦ Cloud and Zack jesused a few of the scientists working with this project. It never once crossed Hojo's mind to think of them as anything but samples; he can still call them by name, especially when he's trying to get them to react in a certain way, but they are lab rats. But after YEARS of working with these two, he had to get rid of a few assistants. Only the coldest crazy-ass scientists were kept on. They were all briefed, they've got Milgram's going for them, they're professional ShinRa grade-A evil scientists! But being brought into that project and watching the experiments, watching the social study, watching the bond between the two subjects survive and survive Hojo's experiments - a few people broke really early and got replaced. A few stuck it out!
But then Cloud is just in such bad, fluctuating shape, quiet and breaking but doing his best, and the way he looks at them when they feed him or give him booster shots like he's starved for even some shred of a sign of humanity in the clinical words they're giving him - some can't help but offer a little empathy now and then. Contact of skin on skin, just a hand clasping his forearm briefly. Cloud gives off the most powerful "YOU ARE HARMING A DYING KITTEN" rays there are. And then there's Zack - Zack just constantly talks, even to his aggressors, asking questions about their day and the weather and the project. They can't say MUCH but it's not like they've been briefed for this kind of cheerful attitude, because it's so absurd for a sample to act like this that there's no rules for handling it. He just wants to TALK because that's his own way of staying sane, like he's not remotely an experiment and they're not giving him horrible drugs. Or they're not giving his friend something worse, for that matter. The way he looks at them like they don't have to do this, like they know better, and please don't, come on man lay off him for a day, wears some of them down.
Of course, some he just never got to, because the WORST ones are the ones who can just talk casually back for years to Zack's chatter, and never remotely see him as human. And those are the ones Hojo kept on the project. :)
♦ Cloud was declared a failed experiment when he became completely comatose. This is when Hojo lost interest in the project and pulled out. Security lightened, and Zack got his chance to bust them out not too long afterwards. Or a year afterwards - Zack and Cloud are fuzzy as to how long that actually lasted.
♦ Scene: A few months after Cloud stopped showing any cognitive responses, Cloud was being dragged out for more tests at the same time Zack was being put back into suspension. Zack - not exactly all there himself at the time - lashed out towards him, knocked him away from the scientists, and hovered over him protectively to the scientists' bafflement considering he was already so drugged. He had the whole place in an uproar until they finally shot up with tranquilizers powerful to knock out a marlboro, and pried Cloud out of his unconscious arms. This is one of those fuzzy moments Cloud remembers from his time with mako poisoning. The moment was so striking that Cloud held onto him when they pulled them apart, and he even said Zack's name. Shocked, the scientists put them together again to see if Zack could pull Cloud out of the coma, but nothing really worked. Still, it kept the scientists busy for a while after Hojo had stopped overseeing the project.
♦ Zack is his own special brand of nutsoid after this. You can stay positive through 5 years of Hojoscience, and then talk to your completely comatose buddy while you drag him across two continents and an ocean. And you can be completely 100% sure he can hear you the whole time, despite no signs or responses. And you would be adorable, the best friend ever, and you would be right! But also kinda off.
♦ Because Cloud kinda skipped some development for five years of captivity and an end stretch of being a few pyreflies short of a Farplane, Cloud is still socially a teenager. He's grown up more since post-game, but he's still only 19-ish.
♦ Now that Cloud has sorted out his memories, he remembers all of this. Not specifically, it blurs (the memories of Zack talking to him while he was comatose are especially choppy), but nothing is repressed anymore. He has a huge pile of disjointed memories (the events, but not always the time; as he lost track of those things, his memories blur too) of the two surviving the ordeal.