this week has been weird. i stayed in most of the week since i try to conserve money and not drive into frederick all the time. got word that my old neighbor probably had less than a week to live. she used to babysit me when i was little but she had multiple different cancers, she was so young, around my parents age. so sad. well yesterday i ( Read more... )

New Years was better than expected. Nothing like staying in alone at midnight like I always used to, and then going out with a close friend at like 1 AM. A new twist on something old. It was nice ( Read more... )

So lately I've had a lot happen. I moved back to Maryland. I live in my parents basement and sleep on the sofa until I can get my life back together. It was in a million tiny pieces just before I came home. Now it's starting to come back together slowly, though there have really been some major changes. It's the first Xmas of my life that I ( Read more... )

Wow. Everything just changed and I don't like it at all. I'm lost and confused and hurt and I just don't feel like being so alone right now. Dammit I hate life sometimes. I was so sure, she clearly wasn't.

Last Saturday I moved into my apartment sort of. I drove up to Albany only to find that the door was broken and had no locks on it and the fridge was missing from the kitchen. I spent the first night as part of a sleepover with Emily and her friends from St Rose in Emily's dorm room. Sunday Emily and I started the cleaning process and I spent my ( Read more... )

This week has to be one of those weeks that I will look back on and realize that my life changed quite a bit. This is my first taste of that. My first glimpse at the reality of all this. It's not that it's all that big, infact to me, moving and going to school in New York has never seemed like less of a big deal. It never seemed important to me ( Read more... )

So, this weekend... visited Emily again. I love visiting her, well other than the ride up and back, however this weekend I signed the lease on an apartment in Albany, NY. I have the keys and I am just getting my shit together, finishing my last 4 days of work, and then I will start moving in. So much work ahead of me but it's almost over finally

Well, my birthday is now over. It's midnight and I am dead tired but still awake. It's still lonely though things are better. I am so ready to move on to the next phase of my life. This one right now, this past month with all the work and lack of sleep is just killing me. I know that it's going to be like this from now on but it's just so hard ( Read more... )

It's my birthday. I'm 19. From an outside perspective nothing could really be better. I have an amazing girlfriend who lives in Albany right now, but that's not a problem since I am moving there soon. Maybe in the next few weeks. I have a best friend that is always around when I need him, even if being around is in Portland. And I have a job ( Read more... )

9:45 on Monday morning and I am not at work. It feels great. I don't have to go in until 11:00 for some reason and it's amazing to get some time to sleep in (as if 9:30 is actually sleeping in) and I still have like 45 minutes to kill before I have to leave. Normally I just get up 30 minutes before I have to leave so that by the time I shower ( Read more... )