This is depressing to read, and it makes me sad that you, of all people, feel like you have no direction. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this: this sounds like the point in your life when you need to stop considering what your parents would prefer you do and how you act and who you associate with and everything. You're an adult now, and you cannot contuinue to repress your real self to conform to their artificial expectations any longer; it's just not healthy.
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Call me some afternoon.
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