daniel/charlotte: "some things can't be changed"
Title: Some Things Can't Be Changed
Rating: PG (K+)
Fandom: Lost
Pairing: Daniel/Charlotte
Genre(s): Drama/Tragedy
Word Count: 1,693
Status: Complete
Spoilers: up to 5x08 "LaFleur"
Summary: You couldn't change the past. He knew this more than anyone. But for her, he has to try.
A/N: I just wanted to try writing a fic on Daniel's thoughts about Charlotte. It's kinda short, but I hope you enjoy. :D
When he met Charlotte, the first thing he noticed about her were her eyes.
They were so blue: the exact color of the sky on a sunny, cloudless day.
He found himself transfixed by them as she looked at him.
“Daniel, right?” She said casually, and he smiled and nodded, feeling nervous for a reason he couldn’t explain.
They were standing out on the deck of the freighter; it was almost evening and the sky was now tinged with a splash of pink.
“And you’re Charlotte,” He returned, holding his notebook limply at his side, and she nodded back.
Her eyes glanced briefly down at his notebook, but when she brought her eyes up to meet his again she didn’t ask about it.
He found himself grateful of this.
“You’re a physicist?”
Her face was calm, but he could detect her genuine interest, and he nodded again.
She looked out across the sea for a moment, quiet, then added, “I’m an anthropologist.”
There was just something about this woman; she wasn’t overly warm or friendly, but he appreciated her company just the same.
There were other people on this freighter to socialize with, he knew.
There was Frank, but his sense of humor was a little lost on him sometimes.
There was Miles, but he usually smirked at him and had an attitude.
There was the captain, but he was a bit intimidating.
There was that man, Keamy, but there was something so vicious that lurked beneath the surface that he was downright scary.
But this woman that stood beside him now, Charlotte (he pronounces it in his head and decides he likes the sound of it), she was different from them all.
She didn’t laugh much, or join in conversations much, but he felt, for some reason, that he could connect with her.
“You can call me Dan, if you want,” He found himself saying, and as she turned back to look at him he suddenly felt bashful.
Her eyes roamed over his face for a moment but he didn’t feel the need to shy away from her scrutiny.
“All right, Dan,” She finally answered, her lips curling up into a smile as her eyes shined with amusement.
He realized then that he never wanted her to stop smiling.
-
As the days passed, the second thing he noticed about her was her hair.
It was a dark red, hanging in waves at her shoulders.
There were times that he would fix his eyes on it, and every time it got harder and harder to look away.
Sometimes the color darkened or lightened based on the time of day.
But it was always beautiful.
One day he didn’t turn away fast enough, and she caught him staring.
“Do I have something in my hair?” She asked, bringing her hands up to her head.
He shook his head at her, feeling his face flush. “No, no. There’s nothing.”
She let her hands fall back to her lap. “Oh.”
He could tell that she was confused, wondering why he had been looking at her like that, and he couldn’t help but elaborate. “Has your hair always been that color?”
“Yeah,” She nodded, and he now felt confused as he watched a blush creep onto her cheeks. “Odd color, isn’t it?”
As he realized how she must have interpreted his reason for staring he felt mortified.
She was the only person he wanted to have in his company and now he could be driving her away.
“No, I like it,” He explained, and her eyes locked with his. “It’s nice.”
“Thanks,” She replied, her tone of voice surprised, and relief overcame him.
A few seconds passed, then she smirked, reminiscing on something he didn’t know. “When I was little, the boys at my school used to make fun of me for it.”
He smiled. “They weren’t very smart.”
She laughed, then, staring off into the distance, and he could tell she was flattered.
It was the first time he heard her laugh, and he realized that he wouldn’t mind hearing it again.
-
When she approached him, he couldn’t remember her name.
His mind was blank only for a few seconds, but he felt such shame, nonetheless.
He knew he couldn’t help it, he knew that things like this were bound to happen every once in a while, but he still felt angry with himself.
She must have noticed something in his expression that gave this away, because as she came to his side she asked, “What’s up, Dan?”
He thought about shrugging it off, but the concern in her voice made him want to tell her the truth.
He hoped she could understand.
“I forget things sometimes,” He admitted, his mouth a grimace. “Just a minute ago, I forgot your name.”
Her eyebrows furrowed, and he hurried on. “I used to do experiments. I wasn’t careful, and sometimes I have short-term memory loss…”
He trailed off, not really sure of what else to say.
She was silent for a moment, then she said, her voice smooth and free of shock or pity, “Well, maybe I can help. We can use cards or something, see how well you can memorize them.”
He was surprised that she didn’t ask any questions about his experiments, but she never was a person to ask many questions, which was one of the many things he liked about her.
She seemed to think that everyone was entitled to their own secrets, and sometimes he had the suspicion that she had many.
Her offer to help him in something that he refrained from explaining in complete detail took him aback even more, and his voice sounded a little odd to him when he responded, “Yeah, I’d like that. Thanks.”
“Sure.”
“My name’s Charlotte,” She added, and he smiled.
“Yeah, I know,” He said, assuring her. “I remembered.”
She gave him a tight smile, her voice soft. “Just making sure.”
He realized then that if there was anyone he didn’t want to forget, it was her.
-
They became sort of a team on the island, and he couldn’t remember the last time he enjoyed having a companion so much.
He defended her and she defended him; it was a routine that they fell into easily, and there were times that he wondered how he had gone through his life so long without knowing her.
They don’t hold many conversations; they still don’t know very much about each other, but he wasn’t concerned because they had plenty of time to get to know each other.
Then she got a nosebleed, and he began to worry.
-
“Because I am in love with the woman sitting next to me, and I would never do anything to hurt her.”
The words left his mouth, confident and insistent, and it wasn’t exactly the way he wanted to reveal it to her, looking away from her, but it was the sincere truth and that was all that mattered.
When he faced her, moments later, he discovered that she thought he didn’t mean it.
He looked back at her, unabashed, and said that he did.
He watched as her eyes softened and they didn’t look away from each other until they were interrupted.
-
A tear leaked from her eye and his heart ached like it never had before.
He never thought of her as the type to cry, and he knew why she was doing it now.
She thought this was the end.
He gently wiped the blood away from her lips with one hand and grasped her hand tightly in the other and told her that everything was going to be all right.
“Daniel, I think that man was you.”
The words hung in the air, her shocked and fearful voice ringing in his ears, and he stared wide-eyed at her for a moment that felt suspended in time.
Then another minute passed and her eyes stared vacantly to the right, dull and lifeless.
He knew the truth before he believed it, and he hoped, with every fiber of his being, that it wasn’t.
Her hand was still warm and he held onto it, bringing it to his cheek and resting it there as he cried.
He leaned forward and the tear was still wet on her face as he brushed it away and he placed his hand over her eyes and closed the eyelids, because he didn’t think he could bear looking at them anymore.
Suddenly there was a flash of white light, a buzzing in his ears, and he had no choice but to let her hand slip out of his as his eyes closed due to the agony that erupted in his head.
Then it went away and he opened his eyes and she was gone and he was alone.
-
The past can’t be changed. Whatever happened, happened.
He, of all people, knew this.
A little girl’s innocent voice filled his ears and he just knew it was her before he saw her.
Her hair was so red, even as a child, and when she looked over at him and waved at him, those light blue eyes twinkling and her smile big, he felt such a longing that was unbearable.
He promised himself he wouldn’t do it.
But it didn’t stop him from wandering around outside every day, hoping to catch a glimpse of her.
And finally, today, he did.
She was alone this time, holding a doll to her chest as she chattered to herself, bending over daisies and plucking one, and he just watched, the pain in his heart intensifying.
You can’t alter the past.
The things that happened were meant to happen.
He knew this, he did.
But I loved her.
Charlotte added the daisy to her doll and began to wander further away from him, and he knew, in that moment, that even though what he will try to do is futile, he’ll do it anyway.
Because he just can’t bring himself to let her go.
He can’t give up, not on this, and not on her.
So he followed.
---
.end