this poem was crazyy
this is quite old by the way.
Eyes
Half open, spent
From crying, coughing,
Pleading.
Spitting words of truth until
I've dehydrated myself, but
I would've been better off
Not talking at all.
Drop me...
You say you don't love me,
Obviously, obviously it's
Me that doesn't love you.
The tears cascade like
Waterfalls of feeling until
I have none left.
Happy, you have to be.
Don't tell me I did this
For nothing. I was a waste of 6 months,
You say,
I never loved you anyway,
And the words reverberate
Throughout my head,
Words spill
From my mouth and my pen.
None of it makes sense.
Honesty is so important, he says.
I say so many things but
You don't seem to listen to
A word.
Stare at you with hope, frustration,
Desire.
Desire to tear you apart or
To touch your lips; I can't
Distinguish
Between the two.
When I close my eyes I see you
Wiping the tears before they reach the ground
But I hear them drop,
Each on closer than the last.
It hurts, I'm on my knees, I grab for you, I tug on
Your heart. This way, please.
Just look at me. But you won't and
The words spill from me like if the sky exploded
Into billions of tiny pieces.
Pieces I can't put together, but you'd never understand anyway.
My lips are pressed on yours and you deny me
And I try to understand.
You must, I thought.
My mind craves attention
That my heart cannot silence.
And I'm a cat, strewn across the floor,
Lamenting to the world how it feels,
How I feel.
Dry throat, how it hurts
To swallow the idea that you
Might not.
It can't be and I
Try to hold your hand
But your grip is loose in mine,
So I retreat to turn myself away.
You might as well take me home. I can't feel
Any more alone. Sacrifice
Everything
And
This
Is what I get. I can't feel my hand,
Numb from gliding across these pages.
You claim you don't, oh,
There's no point. I die within myself.
Turn away from who I used to be.