[Coming out of that dream, the hot painpleasurelust of it, back into his own mind, is like being plunged under icy water. It hurts, hurts so bad to come back to himself after - that - and it makes his heart pound so hard it feels like it will come right out of his chest which is burning - the blood is dripping down his chest and the kunai pushes down and he can feel it going deep - burning and aching and in his panic his hand shoots up to feel his heart and he finds the skin whole, unmarred, and for a moment he doesn't understand, doesn't understand anything at all, and then he remembers that it wasn't real.
Not real. Not even close to being real. Would never, never, never be real. He wouldn't, not ever. Those hands, tearing Itachi apart, digging into him, were not his. Not even in his darkest moments, not even on those sleepless nights where he could not sleep or dream or do anything but lie awake and count the dead and hate hate hate Itachi did he ever, ever think it
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Not real. Not even close to being real. Would never, never, never be real. He wouldn't, not ever. Those hands, tearing Itachi apart, digging into him, were not his. Not even in his darkest moments, not even on those sleepless nights where he could not sleep or dream or do anything but lie awake and count the dead and hate hate hate Itachi did he ever, ever think it ( ... )
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