[AU!] Oh Ruuth~
Mother. She took a faltering step, not truly seeing the people or the area around her- just trying to seek out somewhere she could be alone, somewhere she could curl up and sleep. It had taken five read-throughs of the neatly-printed letter she had been sent, a letter so devoid of anything other than something even someone Fate could recognize as Official Manner that it just made matters that much worse. It hurt, worse than she could let anyone see- because she knew, without a single thread of doubt anywhere in her mind, that it was her fault her mother had passed away- because she was a disappointment, because she had failed, because someone had found them and it was all due to her carelessness.
All her fault, and now the core of her world, her only reason for living, was dead. There was no real privacy in a double dorm, and Fate needed to find somewhere to be alone- completely undisturbed. It wasn't that she was going to actively commit suicide- the thought had never occurred to her, and she had no idea to go about it. No, it was simply that if crying was unacceptable, it was even more unacceptable in front of people, and the sheer force of the emotional blow would not be denied-.
Fate curled around the paper and let out a grief-stricken sob, breath catching awkwardly in her throat. Nothing was ever going to be the same for her again- and nothing was worth trying, not without the chance of pleasing her mother.
I'm sorry, Mother.
'
A few weeks later found Fate wandering unfamiliar streets, a decidedly blank expression on her face as she sought out a place- any quiet place. The people here were unfamiliar, older than her, and giving her odd looks, and her body was screeching for rest in a way she had previously thought to be impossible but hardly regarded. It wasn't like it would matter if she looked awful, or even if she rested at all.
Mother.
Fate found a wall, somewhere people seemed to be avoiding, and rested her back against it, paying no mind to the unusual property behind it.