Epiphany?
I've been thinking about Quidditch a lot lately. My mother says that I should be very proud of the fact that I am the only female Seeker in the school, but I don't think it's a very big deal. There are a lot of other female Quidditch players. I am usually very down on myself about my Quidditch abilities, I have to admit. My mother was a Chaser when she was at Hogwarts. She was very good, and I wonder if I will ever be that good. I am not a bad Seeker, albeit one with a slow broomstick. I think that maybe my mother is right, sometimes. I shouldn't worry so much about trying to be as good as she was. I should just focus on being as good as I can be. Which I haven't done until now.
I used to have a lot more fun playing Quidditch. I wish that I could get that back. I have let myself become a lot more focussed on my studies than extracurricular activities lately. It's something to pass the time. I know that Ravenclaws are said to only care about books, but that just isn't true. A lot of people in my House are a lot of fun. And I used to be fun, too. I know that a lot of the girls treated me differently in sixth year. I do not want to point fingers, but I am sure that that didn't help in making me less withdrawn.
I think, though, that I've reached a turning point in my life. I know, mentally, that it isn't logical to dwell on the past. It has been something that has taken awhile to sink in emotionally. Maybe Cedric's death had a lot to do with it. I can't keep looking back on that, though. Those who dwell in the past forget about the future. And I have a future ahead of me.
I miss Cedric, and I always will. He knows that, wherever he is. I know that he is happy, too. He was happy here. I am glad that he was happy, before it happened. I am glad that he is happy now.
I think I am changing, for the better. I am thinking about Quidditch more, and drawing up game plays in my dormitory at night. I am looking forward to spending an afternoon with Ginny Weasley. I am smiling more.
Part of me feels horrible for it. As though I shouldn't look ahead at all. As though I am being selfish for all of this. I know that isn't true.
I hope the road continues to look up from here.
I used to have a lot more fun playing Quidditch. I wish that I could get that back. I have let myself become a lot more focussed on my studies than extracurricular activities lately. It's something to pass the time. I know that Ravenclaws are said to only care about books, but that just isn't true. A lot of people in my House are a lot of fun. And I used to be fun, too. I know that a lot of the girls treated me differently in sixth year. I do not want to point fingers, but I am sure that that didn't help in making me less withdrawn.
I think, though, that I've reached a turning point in my life. I know, mentally, that it isn't logical to dwell on the past. It has been something that has taken awhile to sink in emotionally. Maybe Cedric's death had a lot to do with it. I can't keep looking back on that, though. Those who dwell in the past forget about the future. And I have a future ahead of me.
I miss Cedric, and I always will. He knows that, wherever he is. I know that he is happy, too. He was happy here. I am glad that he was happy, before it happened. I am glad that he is happy now.
I think I am changing, for the better. I am thinking about Quidditch more, and drawing up game plays in my dormitory at night. I am looking forward to spending an afternoon with Ginny Weasley. I am smiling more.
Part of me feels horrible for it. As though I shouldn't look ahead at all. As though I am being selfish for all of this. I know that isn't true.
I hope the road continues to look up from here.