oneshot; PG; The Mistletoe Incident
Title: The Mistletoe Incident
Author: naadi
Rating: PG
Warning: Silliness
Summary: A story in limerick verse. Draco commandeers the mistletoe and Harry sets out to put a stop to it.
A/N: Just a little Christmas fun. :) Previously posted in my LJ 12/24/2003.
The Mistletoe Incident
One Christmas, an arrogant Draco,
Stood brazenly under the mistletoe,
To the girls who came near,
He offered only a sneer,
But no bargain or threat made him go.
“Bloody hell,” fumed a vexed Harry Potter,
When he heard it from Weasley’s young daughter,
“Why that damn stuck-up priss -
I’ll see about this!
I’m gonna slaughter that mistletoe squatter!”
Harry stormed off as quick as you please,
Picturing how to take Malfoy with ease
As he marched through the halls.
“Ha! A quick kick to the balls,
That’ll bring the pompous prick to his knees!”
When Potter arrived at the scene,
Draco flipped him a gesture obscene.
A crowd gathered round,
Draco smirked, stood his ground,
‘Neath the berries and sweet evergreen.
“Sod off, Malfoy!” Harry said with a hiss.
“Come make me,” said Draco, “Like this - ”
With his hands on his hips,
He pursed up his lips,
“Or are you afraid of a kiss?”
In the room you could hear a pin drop.
Harry’s gut did a crazy flip-flop.
His face turned bright red
As blood rushed to his head,
And his heartbeat was threatening to stop.
What a rotten, despicable scheme!
“Oh my God!” Harry wanted to scream!
This was the worst!
Harry inwardly cursed,
And prayed this was just a bad dream!
“Scared, Potter?” scoffed the smug Malfoy heir.
His words drew an emerald-eyed glare.
The Slytherins jeered,
And the Gryffindors cheered,
As Harry stepped up to the dare.
For a moment they stood eye to eye.
Face to face, toe to toe, thigh to thigh,
Said Harry, “You wish,”
His smile devilish,
Planning all the ways Malfoy would die.
Harry leaned close to his old nemesis
His lips just a breath from the kiss
He moved closer still,
Said in whispered ill will,
“I am so going to kill you for this.”
Their lips met. Harry intended a peck,
But Draco’s arms locked around Harry’s neck!
The onlookers shrieked!
Hermione squeaked!
Ron Weasley was a quivering wreck!
Draco kissed Harry Potter with gusto.
It was a scandalous demonstration of lust. Oh!
Then he bowed to the crowd,
Amidst catcalls loud,
His insufferable smirk added for show.
Incensed by the Slytherin’s sass,
And never one to let opportunity pass,
Draco’s bow was a gift,
Harry’s vengeance was swift -
He kicked Draco hard in the ass.
“You bastard,” Harry said later in bed.
He tousled his lover’s blond head.
“Did we not agree
On complete secrecy?
Now you’ve made us a spectacle, instead.”
Draco scowled. “Don’t know why you’re so pissed,”
“After all, it was only one little kiss.”
Harry said, with a groan,
“Yeah, I should have known
Not to fall for a damn exhibitionist.”
Author: naadi
Rating: PG
Warning: Silliness
Summary: A story in limerick verse. Draco commandeers the mistletoe and Harry sets out to put a stop to it.
A/N: Just a little Christmas fun. :) Previously posted in my LJ 12/24/2003.
The Mistletoe Incident
One Christmas, an arrogant Draco,
Stood brazenly under the mistletoe,
To the girls who came near,
He offered only a sneer,
But no bargain or threat made him go.
“Bloody hell,” fumed a vexed Harry Potter,
When he heard it from Weasley’s young daughter,
“Why that damn stuck-up priss -
I’ll see about this!
I’m gonna slaughter that mistletoe squatter!”
Harry stormed off as quick as you please,
Picturing how to take Malfoy with ease
As he marched through the halls.
“Ha! A quick kick to the balls,
That’ll bring the pompous prick to his knees!”
When Potter arrived at the scene,
Draco flipped him a gesture obscene.
A crowd gathered round,
Draco smirked, stood his ground,
‘Neath the berries and sweet evergreen.
“Sod off, Malfoy!” Harry said with a hiss.
“Come make me,” said Draco, “Like this - ”
With his hands on his hips,
He pursed up his lips,
“Or are you afraid of a kiss?”
In the room you could hear a pin drop.
Harry’s gut did a crazy flip-flop.
His face turned bright red
As blood rushed to his head,
And his heartbeat was threatening to stop.
What a rotten, despicable scheme!
“Oh my God!” Harry wanted to scream!
This was the worst!
Harry inwardly cursed,
And prayed this was just a bad dream!
“Scared, Potter?” scoffed the smug Malfoy heir.
His words drew an emerald-eyed glare.
The Slytherins jeered,
And the Gryffindors cheered,
As Harry stepped up to the dare.
For a moment they stood eye to eye.
Face to face, toe to toe, thigh to thigh,
Said Harry, “You wish,”
His smile devilish,
Planning all the ways Malfoy would die.
Harry leaned close to his old nemesis
His lips just a breath from the kiss
He moved closer still,
Said in whispered ill will,
“I am so going to kill you for this.”
Their lips met. Harry intended a peck,
But Draco’s arms locked around Harry’s neck!
The onlookers shrieked!
Hermione squeaked!
Ron Weasley was a quivering wreck!
Draco kissed Harry Potter with gusto.
It was a scandalous demonstration of lust. Oh!
Then he bowed to the crowd,
Amidst catcalls loud,
His insufferable smirk added for show.
Incensed by the Slytherin’s sass,
And never one to let opportunity pass,
Draco’s bow was a gift,
Harry’s vengeance was swift -
He kicked Draco hard in the ass.
“You bastard,” Harry said later in bed.
He tousled his lover’s blond head.
“Did we not agree
On complete secrecy?
Now you’ve made us a spectacle, instead.”
Draco scowled. “Don’t know why you’re so pissed,”
“After all, it was only one little kiss.”
Harry said, with a groan,
“Yeah, I should have known
Not to fall for a damn exhibitionist.”