Mi Nuevo
Title: Mi Nuevo
Author: seekin4therapy
Pairing: Joon/G.O, mentioned Seungho/G.O
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst
Summary: A response to pearlchocolate's fic, Mi Viejo, from Joon's perspective.
----
He wakes up wrapped in Byunghee’s arms every morning. He lays awake, soaking in the moment, knowing deep in his heart that these moments can’t, won’t last. He treasures every second, because each second might be his last. He treasures every softly spoken word, the scent of Byunghee’s subtle cologne, each laugh that makes his entire face light up. The (slightly) older man is exceedingly irresistible when he’s so full of laughter. When he reaches over in the morning to curl his arm over the naked shoulder, for at least that moment he feels at peace. And every morning after, he’ll savor that peace, swallow his uncertainty and insecurity and pretend that everything is perfect. He’ll have to smile and watch as the man he loves gets drunk on nights when he works late and goes to someone who isn’t him, but should be him.
Someone who was so much better than him.
Joon remembers the first time they slept together. Byunghee was drunk and horny, and didn’t care that he had come to the club with Joon. Their first time was in the dark corner of a club, not so far away from prying eyes and right underneath the noses of those closest to them. To this day, he never revealed that he had caught them. Seungho wasn’t exactly trying to keep quiet, and Byunghee…well, Byunghee was just happy there was a warm body to sate his lust with. He could still remember the smirk on the singer’s lips as he pulled Seungho onto his lap, seeing their slick skin against each other, the familiar vein on his neck standing out as he cried out in release, their leader grinding down into his lap…
He didn’t like to dwell on it too much. The memories just make his chest hurt, steal his breath away. But he has to go on. If this was the only way he could have Byunghee, then he would enjoy every moment until the man decided he wasn’t worth it and left him.
Does Byunghee even realize? Joon wonders these things when he lays in bed at night (Byunghee’s warm body pressing him down into the mattress), his thoughts hazy from the sweat and heat. Does he lay awake afterwards and remember doing this with someone else? From the way he acts during the day, one would never think that Byunghee had eyes for anyone but Joon. He can feel the singer’s gaze on him whenever they’re in the same room, feels his fingers whenever he finds an excuse to touch him, his hands lingering and a smile curling at his lips as Joon shivers or blushes at the contact. It feels nice, to be center stage, the center of Byunghee’s attention. His eyes stray to the leader during these moments, and he suddenly feels exposed, knowing that Seungho would give anything to be in Joon’s position…and he flinches, lowering his gaze, as a voice in his head pipes up. He is in your position. Just nobody knows it but the three of you.
And as expected, later that night as he tiptoes silently behind his lover as the older man knocks on the leader’s door, whispering out a soft “Hyung?” and slipping into the oldest man’s room wearing nothing but a tight tank top and sweats riding low on his hips. Joon moves silently towards the cracked door, peering inside to watch what unfolds.
“Joon’s -“
“I know. Joon’s at filming and he’s practicing late. Just come in.”
Joon swallows, hearing the lie he had told the other members repeated by the man laying in bed. He had suspicions about what was happening when he was gone, but he had to make sure…
Byunghee moves to the bed, sitting on the side and asking Seungho how he’s doing. Seungho seems lost in thought, only responding when Byunghee once again repeats his question.
“O-oh, yeah. I’m fine, just a bit tired.” Joon watched as Seungho’s cheeks flushed. “I-I mean, I’m still up for whatever, whatever you came in here to do…”
Byunghee chuckles, and Joon feels his chest constrict. “Wow, you’re eager. Am I that good, hyung?”
Before Joon can suck in a breath, Byunghee is on top of Seungho, crushing their lips together, and then everything is a blur as Joon’s eyes fill with tears, turning away from the door and sliding down the wall to curl up into a tiny ball, crying silently into his arms as the sounds of sex drift from the room. It’s over quickly, but it takes a lifetime for Joon. He wipes his eyes, gathers the last bit of his breaking heart and peers back into the room to see them tangled in bed together, panting in the afterglow. Byunghee chuckles, and Seungho looks confused. “Yah…what’s so funny?”
The singer smiles and looks down at Seungho. “Ah…I was remembering something.”
“What was it?”
Byunghee shifts, and his hands trail down Seungo’s spine, and Joon feels a little more of his heart shatter. “I was remembering our first time…in the club. Even though I was drunk, I felt as sober as I do right now.”
And Joon has to bite his lip and scurry away to the bathroom as Byunghee leaves a few minutes later. And as he collapses to the cold tile, hugging himself tightly, tears streaming down his face, he knows that it’s over, that his precious moments had finally come to an end. That he’s alone once again.
Author: seekin4therapy
Pairing: Joon/G.O, mentioned Seungho/G.O
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst
Summary: A response to pearlchocolate's fic, Mi Viejo, from Joon's perspective.
----
He wakes up wrapped in Byunghee’s arms every morning. He lays awake, soaking in the moment, knowing deep in his heart that these moments can’t, won’t last. He treasures every second, because each second might be his last. He treasures every softly spoken word, the scent of Byunghee’s subtle cologne, each laugh that makes his entire face light up. The (slightly) older man is exceedingly irresistible when he’s so full of laughter. When he reaches over in the morning to curl his arm over the naked shoulder, for at least that moment he feels at peace. And every morning after, he’ll savor that peace, swallow his uncertainty and insecurity and pretend that everything is perfect. He’ll have to smile and watch as the man he loves gets drunk on nights when he works late and goes to someone who isn’t him, but should be him.
Someone who was so much better than him.
Joon remembers the first time they slept together. Byunghee was drunk and horny, and didn’t care that he had come to the club with Joon. Their first time was in the dark corner of a club, not so far away from prying eyes and right underneath the noses of those closest to them. To this day, he never revealed that he had caught them. Seungho wasn’t exactly trying to keep quiet, and Byunghee…well, Byunghee was just happy there was a warm body to sate his lust with. He could still remember the smirk on the singer’s lips as he pulled Seungho onto his lap, seeing their slick skin against each other, the familiar vein on his neck standing out as he cried out in release, their leader grinding down into his lap…
He didn’t like to dwell on it too much. The memories just make his chest hurt, steal his breath away. But he has to go on. If this was the only way he could have Byunghee, then he would enjoy every moment until the man decided he wasn’t worth it and left him.
Does Byunghee even realize? Joon wonders these things when he lays in bed at night (Byunghee’s warm body pressing him down into the mattress), his thoughts hazy from the sweat and heat. Does he lay awake afterwards and remember doing this with someone else? From the way he acts during the day, one would never think that Byunghee had eyes for anyone but Joon. He can feel the singer’s gaze on him whenever they’re in the same room, feels his fingers whenever he finds an excuse to touch him, his hands lingering and a smile curling at his lips as Joon shivers or blushes at the contact. It feels nice, to be center stage, the center of Byunghee’s attention. His eyes stray to the leader during these moments, and he suddenly feels exposed, knowing that Seungho would give anything to be in Joon’s position…and he flinches, lowering his gaze, as a voice in his head pipes up. He is in your position. Just nobody knows it but the three of you.
And as expected, later that night as he tiptoes silently behind his lover as the older man knocks on the leader’s door, whispering out a soft “Hyung?” and slipping into the oldest man’s room wearing nothing but a tight tank top and sweats riding low on his hips. Joon moves silently towards the cracked door, peering inside to watch what unfolds.
“Joon’s -“
“I know. Joon’s at filming and he’s practicing late. Just come in.”
Joon swallows, hearing the lie he had told the other members repeated by the man laying in bed. He had suspicions about what was happening when he was gone, but he had to make sure…
Byunghee moves to the bed, sitting on the side and asking Seungho how he’s doing. Seungho seems lost in thought, only responding when Byunghee once again repeats his question.
“O-oh, yeah. I’m fine, just a bit tired.” Joon watched as Seungho’s cheeks flushed. “I-I mean, I’m still up for whatever, whatever you came in here to do…”
Byunghee chuckles, and Joon feels his chest constrict. “Wow, you’re eager. Am I that good, hyung?”
Before Joon can suck in a breath, Byunghee is on top of Seungho, crushing their lips together, and then everything is a blur as Joon’s eyes fill with tears, turning away from the door and sliding down the wall to curl up into a tiny ball, crying silently into his arms as the sounds of sex drift from the room. It’s over quickly, but it takes a lifetime for Joon. He wipes his eyes, gathers the last bit of his breaking heart and peers back into the room to see them tangled in bed together, panting in the afterglow. Byunghee chuckles, and Seungho looks confused. “Yah…what’s so funny?”
The singer smiles and looks down at Seungho. “Ah…I was remembering something.”
“What was it?”
Byunghee shifts, and his hands trail down Seungo’s spine, and Joon feels a little more of his heart shatter. “I was remembering our first time…in the club. Even though I was drunk, I felt as sober as I do right now.”
And Joon has to bite his lip and scurry away to the bathroom as Byunghee leaves a few minutes later. And as he collapses to the cold tile, hugging himself tightly, tears streaming down his face, he knows that it’s over, that his precious moments had finally come to an end. That he’s alone once again.