He/She, Lose/Win

[seenik]

Title: He/She, Lose/Win
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own them, but I wish I did ;)
Summary: Sawyer makes a different choice.
Notes: The result of boredom, iTunes, and missing Sawyer/Kate...not the best, but I figured it was still worth sharing :)

Comments

[emilyanna07]

This is great! However, there were a few things...

Necessary evil constructive criticism: It was sometimes hard to tell who was speaking. You don't need to say "he said" or "she said" after every quote, but some indication would be helpful. Next, the language was pretty strong for what we see on Lost. I'm not saying that Sawyer doesn't swear, but he usually just says "hell", "damn it", or "son of a bitch". I hadn't really noticed what Kate uses, if she swears at all. So the language you chose seemed out of character for what we've seen. Finally, I would have indicated at the beginning that this took place during season four in Eggtown. There are some Skate fans who haven't seen every Skate episode of lost recently and might forget. :)

The good parts: Very strong emotions. Love the use of language, especially the repetition. I thought you knew the characters and understood their motivations. Loved the ending.

[seenik]

I usually think of Lost as how it would have been had it been on HBO and not ABC, that's why the vernacular may be a bit harsher lol

But thanks SO much for reading it, and I'm glad you like it :)

[silverdragon76]

*sighs* If only Eggtown had really gone this way. <3 Beautifully done, and so vivid. (Sawyer outside in his whitie-tighties, lol)

[seenik]

I know right! Almost every time I watch that scene of her leaving I want to yell "Go after her boy!"

I'm happy you liked the story too :)

Also, what's not to like about Sawyer in his undies? lol ;)