i know enough to know this is not how it happens
it's never there when you are ready for it.
rather it likes to creep in when you have long given up on the possibility.

however,
i would let you come sit on my couch all day long.

i hate days where everything weighs more than it is supposed to,
especially when it's sunny with a high of 65.

I won't mistake you for problems with me
I won't let my moods ruin this you'll see
I won't take everything good and move it away
I won't be left dancing along to songs from the past
Would you stay home and keep our memories warm with me
Would you give all your love for a run at the past with me
I know you're sad even though you say that you're not
( Read more... )

i cannot shake this.
& i dont want to.please.
don't ask me to try harder.

hey  

if any doctor ever read this thing.... i feel like i'd be diagnosed bipolar ( Read more... )

i feel like an empty frame,
everything i want is floating in front of me and i just can't make my arms reach far enough to grab any of it.
and my skin is tired of holding the shape of a girl whose guts have long deserted her.

and sometimes i feel like i have nothing to offer anybody...
like every convincing argument i make falls on deaf ears, or ears ( Read more... )

i'm trying to remember why i thought it was a better idea to stay in pgh this weekend, working relentlessly in the library,
when i could be home with my mother, sisters, and cousins getting drunk on champagne and emotion in a fabulous dress.....

xo.

summer time and the living's eassyyyy ( Read more... )

i'm in a very fuzzy place.
soon i will be home.

this job is becoming TOO MUCH
DEATH is a horrific vaccuum.
one that i have not become numb to.
i still feel a pull into sadness, and
my heart still knots. 
i refuse to accept this as the way of things,
but today, it is so