I looked at my mom today and realized something. When examing what I know about her life, I see that it is possible to go one's entire life without finding true love. Or that if one should find what they believe to be true love, there is no gaurentee that it will remain. This saddens me slightly, because I know that while mom may have recieved two ( Read more... )

So yeah, I finally filled out my FAFSA. And now that I have gone through my step-fathers income tax from 2002 to fill out my 2003 FAFSA, I now think it pointless. Because you see, I was filed as a dependent on my step-father and mother's joint income taxes. This means they get taxes breaks and all kinds of wonderful things. Unfortunately for me, it ( Read more... )

Boun giorno tutti!! So yeah, I feel better. Strangely enough, it seems that whenever my stepfather is not around for extended periods of time, my seemingly endless pit of despair dissipates. Odd connection huh? Couple of weeks ago, Joe, aka retired-dentist-air-force-bastard, decided to rebel against my mom for deciding to go on a small vacation ( Read more... )

I just finished watching the movie Wit. You really should see it, though I would suggest only while in a highly healthy and well adjusted state of mind. It's about an English professor who is diagnosed with cancer. It makes me wonder why things slow down and stop the way they do? Why must there be this slow unwinding of health and sanity as we age ( Read more... )

Sometimes I feel like I could just run away and leave everyone and everything I know behind. Do I love these people or things? Do I love anyone or anything at all? I'm not sure anymore. Emptiness has invaded my life with a chilling force. I just want to sleep and sleep, never dealing with anyone or anything ever again. Am I being dramatic? Yes. Do ( Read more... )

My Italian is not so good but, here goes nothing ( Read more... )

I've been soooo busy. Which is why I haven't updated in a while. West Side Story is mega time consuming. Every night for at least 3 hours except on Saturdays. And damn do my knees hurt. But you ask, Cameron what have you been doing to make your knees hurt? You naughty person you. It's all this damn jumping from stuff, over and over again in ( Read more... )

Why do i enjoy writing journal entries so much while drunk? I swear it's totally irresistable. Perhaps it loosens the tongue. Being gay sucks, I hate society so much right now. Why should I have to censor my behavior, why should I feel as though I have to fit into one stereotype or the other. The worst part is the inability to express something ( Read more... )

Today has been weird. I didn't go to church this morning, which makes the second weekend in a row that I haven't sung. I wonder if they will fire me. I don't think I like it there anyway. I need a real job and I even want a real job. This is quite a breakthrough. All I need now is the will to look for a real job. Maybe it's just the headache ( Read more... )

A lot of things are going on right now. West Side Story rehearsals are starting next week and on the two days that I have conflicts. I guess it's just good that I don't have any rehearsals on thursday yet, cuz yeah, that would suck. Blake and I are still freinds, I think he may have just been on the perverbial rag. I need a job, and now that the ( Read more... )