(Private Meeting) Spock's Quarters - McCoy and Spock

[sehlatbear]

Doctor, I must insist on something - should I attempt to injure any of you, anyone of either crew, you must restrain and sedate me no matter the consequences to myself.

*paces as though he is physically incapable of standing still - realizes what he is doing and stops immediately*

Comments

[dctr_mccoy]

How did you solve this problem when you first underwent pon farr?

*worries about the ignored question*

[sehlatbear]

I murdered Jim Kirk.

[dctr_mccoy]

*unable to keep his eyes from showing the shock that Spock clearly wanted to convey*

You don't appear to have been as successful in that as I might have expected someone of your skill level to be.

[sehlatbear]

*stands up again, resumes pacing*

That was abrupt, I apologize.

I did not communicate my condition to my shipmates, to my friends. They realized there was something amiss when I... reverted to extreme emotional action and response. Did I tell you I threw a bowl of soup at a nurse?

Course was changed and we traveled to Vulcan. My arranged bondmate T'Pring challenged our bond - a ritual challenge. She had taken a lover in my absence. But chose my Kirk as her champion instead, pitting the two of us against each other in combat to the death.

Her plan was... logical.

[dctr_mccoy]

Well, I appreciate you letting us know what's going on ahead of time. With all the crazy things happening, I'm not entirely sure we would have noticed emotional changes in you at least, not until one of us was covered in soup. That was good soup, too.

*snorts* your T'Pring sounds a bit like my ex-wife. Logical and mean. So, Jim was her champion, you killed him, and pon farr was concluded.

I take it there was something that happened in there that changed the ending?

[sehlatbear]

It was your counterpart in my universe, Doctor McCoy, who saved us both. He injected Kirk with a sedative that mimics death. He was able to revive Jim when we had returned to the ship. Vulcan law, and pon farr, were satisfied by the combat. I rejected T'Pring and left her in the hands of her lover, Stonn. I do not know her fate - in my universe or this one - but she will never be a suitable mate for me.

*stands with his back to McCoy, staring out the small window into the stars, shoulders tight, hands clasped behind back*

[dctr_mccoy]

I'm not entirely fond of recreating that event, and - *looks over at Spock* - I suspect you aren't either. But you mention the law... what exactly much be done in order to fulfill the pon farr - a sexual bonding or a combat to the death? Those are the only two options?

There has to be something else... something that hasn't been tried yet. *voice drops* Do I have your permission to discuss this with your Doctor McCoy? Perhaps between the two of us we can come up with something - well, if we can't solve the problem, I want to at least alleviate your pain as long as possible.

*brings up the question again* It has started, hasn't it, Mr Spock? The feelings?

[sehlatbear]

To believe I had killed my captain and friend - it would have been better to have died.

There is no other provision - not under the law and not by our nature. Though one can debate the jurisdiction of Vulcan law in this instance as Vulcan no longer exists, you cannot argue with biology.

However, you are at liberty to discuss this with my Leonard McCoy as you see fit.

*a half-turn, enough to make brief eye contact with McCoy, before turning back to the window*

Might I request that you do not share the details of this with others, however? These are private matters. While I am accepting of the necessity, it is still... uncomfortable to treat it so casually.

*steps closer to the window, away from McCoy - Spock is by now obviously avoiding any sort of proximity with McCoy*

It is not yet beyond my capacity for control, Doctor.

[dctr_mccoy]

You didn't know ahead of time what they had planned? *surprise on his face* They didn't tell you?

Anything said here is kept within the strictest confidence, Mr Spock, as it would be for any doctor-patient conversation. No one will know what you tell me, other than my counterpart, whom I am sure knows the situation better than I.

*sees what Spock is doing, and his stomach tenses - not out of discomfort or disdain but rather sympathy - he'd hoped they'd have more time before it began*

*softly* I am concerned about when it will be. *hesitates, then asks* What are the requirements of a bondmate?

[sehlatbear]

I would not have been able to comprehend their plan - and I would not have agreed to it if I had been able. It was a dangerous plan and I would not have allowed my friend to endanger himself.

*Spock is motionless*

It is... more difficult when I am fatigued. I will rest and meditate and we will have more time.

In any event, there are no predetermined qualities for a bond mate. When parents are arranging matches, they look for similar temperament, an alignment of interests - a certain compatibility. Adults seeking mates search for the same. A bond mate is more than a sexual partner. The mind meld and bond that forms renders them a part of each other, intimately so. Mind to mind, thought to thought.

[dctr_mccoy]

And there isn't anyone here, anyone that might fulfill that for you? I mean, I'm sure that if there were that you would have decided to go tht route. I'm sorry, I'm just throwing things out there now.

*looks up at Spock* Rest and meditation sound good to me too. Shall we end for the evening and take this up another day? *face twists* Wait, was there something else? Did you want to know about our Spock? Something about his father?

[sehlatbear]

*turns to face McCoy, stares over his left shoulder as though making eye contact is simply too much*

I would not use the bonds formed by long friendship to create a situation where...

My obligation is clear. There is no logic in allowing humans - self-sacrifing humans - to be part of this decision.

*shakes head*

Your Spock? And his father?

[dctr_mccoy]

There is also no logic in dying when a solution might reveal itself to us. And I'm not sure you alone get to make that decision, not anymore. Too many people interested in your well-being.

I thought you had a question - I might have misunderstood... or gotten confused with another one of you. *rubs his head* It's been a long couple of days, sir.

[sehlatbear]

*eyes narrow*

Interest in my well-being, as you put it, has led humans to make illogical and dangerous decisions before. Yet there is reason in what you say - I am not taking any action. We shall... wait and see. It is possible that meditation will suffice.

It is no matter - I will remember if it was important and I have forgotten. This forgetfulness is troubling to me.

I will rest now. It will be... safer. It will be safer tomorrow. Do not hesitate to awaken me if you have need of me, however.

[dctr_mccoy]

Same to you - contact me at any hour if you feel the need for - don't wait until it's too late to call if you really believe you need to be sedated. As a rule I don't believe in tossing around medication, but I don't want you to suffer when we can prevent it with a simple injection.

Good night, Mr Spock. I'll contact you tomorrow.

[sehlatbear]

*waits until the door is closed and then collapses against the wall*

I will not endanger my friends. In any incarnation.

*slowly moves into a meditative posture and closes his eyes*