The Carnival is Over

[sehlatbear]

Leonard had agreed with Jim, had hustled Spock - undignified! - away from the theatre, Jim and Leonard on either side of him though he assured them he was fine, and to the public transit stop at the end of the block. The public transportation system was, as could only have been expected, efficient and safe. It was not the Vulcan way to comment on

Comments

[original_fine]

Jim sat down, tucking one leg under him so he could face Spock squarely, a hand on his arm. He could feel that Spock was recovered, somewhat, but a glance at McCoy told him that he wasn't alone in letting it go at that. In fact, in true doctorly fashion, McCoy was getting Spock a glass of water--and himself and Jim glasses of something nicer.

Jim reached for Spock's hand and squeezed.

"I know you don't like to think about it," he said quietly, "but I think we have to, Spock. Just a little."

He trusted these men with his life. More than ever. But he also had to think about what it meant for Spock to be this affected by such stimuli, by his exposure to danger. Maybe it wasn't healthy, but he knew he could tuck away his reactions for later--he wasn't sure if he was doing that now, for Spock's sake, or not, but it did mean he could act. He knew that in need, Spock could, too. But he hated feeling the turmoil of Spock's thoughts and emotions, knowing not even his presence could wholly allay it.

[m1nt_julep]

Leonard passed Spock the glass of water, keeping hold of it until he was sure the Vulcan's fingers had a good enough grip not to drop it. He offered Jim the second glass of bourbon he'd poured before taking his own seat at a little more distance, so he could look at Spock full on.

"Now, I've been thinking about that whole situation. And I know you said it was logical at the time and you'll defend your entire green-blooded species before you'll admit that woman wasn't logical. But Spock, she set you up, logic or not."

If Spock ought to hate anyone for that whole debacle it was T'Pring, not himself.

[sehlatbear]

Spock sipped the water and organized his thoughts. He truly was well. The shock had... It had compromised him with unexpected strength.

"Whether or not it was a 'set-up,' in your terms, Leonard, is not the issue. Nor is Jim's successful survival of the encounter. Neither of these factors negate that I murdered him."

[original_fine]

Jim had his own, less-than-charitable opinions about T'Pring that Spock knew well enough, and he bit them back.

"Maybe the fact that you were under the unalterable influence of your own biology doesn't negate that, either, but it was not you who engineered the encounter, or chose me as champion, or let it go on without either Bones or I knowing the score. And you didn't ring that biological fact with so much secrecy and ritual that not even you could have predicted what would happen. Spock, it wasn't your fault. I understand that viscerally, you feel it. I do too, but I know that wasn't you. And just as we can't change what happened--nor would I--it doesn't change who or what we are now. It's not you I was ever upset at. Nor should you be."

It was too much to ask, of course. Jim knew that. He knew how he'd feel if it had been him--intimately. And Gary hadn't come back. But what should matter was that he was here.