The room seemed quite empty without Leonard's presence and Spock better understood the impulse that had led Jim to take them to his quarters last night
( Read more... )
Though the loss of his counterpart, and the heat and comfort he brought, was unfortunate, it was not enough to wake Spock from his sleep. Alone, he adjusted to make up for the difference, curling up a little more on his side while his hand grasped at covers. He pulled them up over his shoulder and under his chin, locking in as much warmth as possible.
Kirk risked only a moment's more glance at Spock, frowning just slightly as he watched that moment. He felt guilty slightly, and went out into the hall. It was cold compared to the inside.
He looked to the other Spock, then just... blinked.
"Fuck, did he hit you!?" There was a very familiar shaped, if not familiarly colored, bruise on the older Spock's face.
Almost reflexively, but with conscious relief, Jim held out his fingers and met Spock's. It was, as he'd reflected before, so oddly formal. But he felt the reassurance of the heightened bond, and that calmed him. Somewhat.
"You... allowed him?" He stared at Spock in frank confusion. What would prompt two Vulcans to engage in hand-to-hand combat and then... fall into bed together? "That was what I felt. Before."
Jim waved a hand, dismissing that particular concern. It was beside the point, or rather, it was the opposite he was worried about.
"Evidently you... worked things out," he said, trying to get a handle on the whole situation. Himself and Jim, him perhaps influenced by Spock's altercation. Was that what had caused that disturbance in his arousal, the shift when he'd wanted...
It hit him, a half-second later, that it might have gone the other way, too. Yet another reason this bond was something to be learned.
"That's not why I came," he said, glancing at Jim. "Not exactly."
Kirk looked between them, and when their fingers touched, he actually looked away. That looked... private, somehow. "...Vulcans are fucking weird." He grumbled to himself. They were really into fist-fighting despite how EMOTIONLESS they were supposed to be.
"Look, just don't kill my first officer in his sleep." He rumbled, and turned. Everything was okay, Spock was asleep, the other Spock obviously didn't give a damn about the bruise (...I wonder if the security cameras were on...) and well, Jim was obviously happy to be back with his bondmate.
"Jim, I do not wish to leave him alone for long. I am glad you came - you would be a great comfort to us both. Are you able to stay?"
Still the anxiety coming through the bond. Spock met it with love, reassurance.
"James, I believe your presence would not be so restful but I have reason to speak with you as soon as possible, regarding the criminal you refer to as Pher."
Still standing close to Spock, Jim reached out for the younger man. Even if Spock had been angry--and it was quickly becoming apparent he wasn't, though Jim had to look deeper--he would not want a lover going off unsatisfied and unwanted.
If Spock truly had no trouble with what he'd felt, seen... Jim felt luckier than he'd known. Love and relief flowed back to Spock, mixed still with the confusion, the need to know. But it was muted now, banked by other concerns.
"Jim, don't," he said. "Go, if you must, but... Don't go angry."
Kirk gave a look to Spock and nodded, but the touch made him tighten up. He looked to Jim and gave that grin they both knew was bullshit but few others did. "Nah, I'm not angry. This just isn't my place, ya know?"
It was with him... or he had thought it was. Now... the bond in place had tainted things. He wouldn't ask again... he felt sort of oddly guilty, like he had asked someone to cheat on their wife.
Jim just watched the other Jim for a moment, waiting. He understood. Whether it was just being him, or something deeper, some bond through Spock or through themselves that they'd yet to discover or explore, he knew. He'd severed something, when he'd bonded with Spock and Bones, not even knowing the extent of their connection.
Which was odd, because he had every indication Jim and his Leonard were finally together, and it had been sex... No. It hadn't just been sex, not with them, because however fleeting with this Jim Kirk it was never "just" sex.
Maybe it was an instinct the elder Jim hadn't picked up, or maybe he had, but this one... was definitely more cautious. He turned that smile on Spock, shaking his head, "I"m fine, I'm fine. Just got a lot on my mind about tomorrow." He actually took a very slight step back, almost unconsciously.
Kirk knew about having 'just sex'. There was a lot of that in his past. Tons of it, more then most people would get in a life time. But for a few people, he could think of exact four of them in his entire history, it had been something more then... just sex.
The first girl he had ever fallen for (in a serious way). The first guy he had ever fallen for (in a less serious way). Bones (in the hardest way of all). And... himself (which had no category at all).
But he wasn't a fool, wasn't blind, and despite a few... er, wrenches in the past, wasn't a relationship breaker, or interferer. Specially when he had an inkling that while it wasn't.. regretted exactly, it wasn't the same.
Course the best sex of my life would have this shit happen.
Perhaps this was goodbye, of sorts. A mistake, though not one he'd regret. Even if Spock was all right with what had happened, it wasn't going to happen again. So something that had seemed so very casual in its beginnings--a challenge, a curiosity, a firm young body lying in wait to turn the tables, never planned--suddenly gained new resonance.
Jim Kirk had made many of the same mistakes, had had his heart broken before. But he'd learned caution only in starting things. Like any mission, once begun, he threw himself at whatever it was for all he was worth.
Spock turned and left them, and Jim felt the absence more than physically.
Things had changed, and he needed to speak to Spock first before he picked up these pieces. To see what he needed. He smiled at Jim, his expression genuine but his eyes searching.
"I'll find you," he said. "Later, sometime. Go... find Bones."
Reply
He looked to the other Spock, then just... blinked.
"Fuck, did he hit you!?" There was a very familiar shaped, if not familiarly colored, bruise on the older Spock's face.
Reply
"What happened?" he demanded now.
Reply
Again, he offered his fingers to Jim, a subtle motion.
"What is the matter?"
Reply
Almost reflexively, but with conscious relief, Jim held out his fingers and met Spock's. It was, as he'd reflected before, so oddly formal. But he felt the reassurance of the heightened bond, and that calmed him. Somewhat.
"You... allowed him?" He stared at Spock in frank confusion. What would prompt two Vulcans to engage in hand-to-hand combat and then... fall into bed together? "That was what I felt. Before."
Reply
Jim looked shocked and disbelieving - the concern that had brought Jim and James to Spock's quarters morphing into uncertain anger.
"It was the most logical option at the time.
However, I apologize for intruding - I had thought my shield adequate to prevent distracting you."
Reply
"Evidently you... worked things out," he said, trying to get a handle on the whole situation. Himself and Jim, him perhaps influenced by Spock's altercation. Was that what had caused that disturbance in his arousal, the shift when he'd wanted...
It hit him, a half-second later, that it might have gone the other way, too. Yet another reason this bond was something to be learned.
"That's not why I came," he said, glancing at Jim. "Not exactly."
Reply
"Look, just don't kill my first officer in his sleep." He rumbled, and turned. Everything was okay, Spock was asleep, the other Spock obviously didn't give a damn about the bruise (...I wonder if the security cameras were on...) and well, Jim was obviously happy to be back with his bondmate.
He wanted a drink, bad.
Reply
Still the anxiety coming through the bond. Spock met it with love, reassurance.
"James, I believe your presence would not be so restful but I have reason to speak with you as soon as possible, regarding the criminal you refer to as Pher."
Reply
Still standing close to Spock, Jim reached out for the younger man. Even if Spock had been angry--and it was quickly becoming apparent he wasn't, though Jim had to look deeper--he would not want a lover going off unsatisfied and unwanted.
If Spock truly had no trouble with what he'd felt, seen... Jim felt luckier than he'd known. Love and relief flowed back to Spock, mixed still with the confusion, the need to know. But it was muted now, banked by other concerns.
"Jim, don't," he said. "Go, if you must, but... Don't go angry."
Reply
It was with him... or he had thought it was. Now... the bond in place had tainted things. He wouldn't ask again... he felt sort of oddly guilty, like he had asked someone to cheat on their wife.
Reply
Spock stepped closer.
"What is the matter?"
The second time he was forced to ask.
Reply
Which was odd, because he had every indication Jim and his Leonard were finally together, and it had been sex... No. It hadn't just been sex, not with them, because however fleeting with this Jim Kirk it was never "just" sex.
So he thought he understood.
Reply
Kirk knew about having 'just sex'. There was a lot of that in his past. Tons of it, more then most people would get in a life time. But for a few people, he could think of exact four of them in his entire history, it had been something more then... just sex.
The first girl he had ever fallen for (in a serious way).
The first guy he had ever fallen for (in a less serious way).
Bones (in the hardest way of all).
And... himself (which had no category at all).
But he wasn't a fool, wasn't blind, and despite a few... er, wrenches in the past, wasn't a relationship breaker, or interferer. Specially when he had an inkling that while it wasn't.. regretted exactly, it wasn't the same.
Course the best sex of my life would have this shit happen.
Reply
"You are lying. However, since you persist in it, I must ask that we address it tomorrow."
He nodded to them both and headed back into the room, out of the cold corridor.
Reply
Jim Kirk had made many of the same mistakes, had had his heart broken before. But he'd learned caution only in starting things. Like any mission, once begun, he threw himself at whatever it was for all he was worth.
Spock turned and left them, and Jim felt the absence more than physically.
Things had changed, and he needed to speak to Spock first before he picked up these pieces. To see what he needed. He smiled at Jim, his expression genuine but his eyes searching.
"I'll find you," he said. "Later, sometime. Go... find Bones."
Reply
Leave a comment