open letter to my sister
katie..
i don't even know if i ever want to hear from you again. i can't stand feeling this hurt anymore.
before you went to germany, you told me you would come and see me. i was excited about it! do you have any idea how lonely i am? it was the highlight of my fucking week. last minute.... you change the plans. too bad, you've got something else to do. i'm free to tag along; if i'm not interested, my loss, right?
i didn't want to speak to you again after THAT. and, look, i got over it. i missed you. i thought, oh, katie won't do that again. things happen, get over them. and look where i am now.
you were going to come see ME tonight. you TOLD me you would, yesterday.... and i made my plans AROUND YOU. i would have gone to work tonight if i had known i would be alone, again. i even asked you.... ahead of time... because i KNOW you do things like this. and you dropped me again. it's not even the reason i care about -- you were tired, sure, i understand. but you had time for nana, didn't you?! you couldn't even make the effort to let me know ahead of time. now it's too late. and i'm working tomorrow morning instead of tonight. for you. because i wanted to spend time with you while we had a chance. because i missed you.
sure, i could have gone to borders with you, like you said. but you made it pretty clear you weren't interested in doing anything else. sure, i could have gone to work tonight anyway, like you said. but i was so looking forward to doing something with you, that i wanted to be ready whenever YOU were ready for ME. how completely pathetic. i deserve every kick while i'm down.
i don't give a fuck who you are. i can't stand being hurt anymore, so i'll just be the one who doesn't care.
i can't believe i've cried over you.
i don't even know if i ever want to hear from you again. i can't stand feeling this hurt anymore.
before you went to germany, you told me you would come and see me. i was excited about it! do you have any idea how lonely i am? it was the highlight of my fucking week. last minute.... you change the plans. too bad, you've got something else to do. i'm free to tag along; if i'm not interested, my loss, right?
i didn't want to speak to you again after THAT. and, look, i got over it. i missed you. i thought, oh, katie won't do that again. things happen, get over them. and look where i am now.
you were going to come see ME tonight. you TOLD me you would, yesterday.... and i made my plans AROUND YOU. i would have gone to work tonight if i had known i would be alone, again. i even asked you.... ahead of time... because i KNOW you do things like this. and you dropped me again. it's not even the reason i care about -- you were tired, sure, i understand. but you had time for nana, didn't you?! you couldn't even make the effort to let me know ahead of time. now it's too late. and i'm working tomorrow morning instead of tonight. for you. because i wanted to spend time with you while we had a chance. because i missed you.
sure, i could have gone to borders with you, like you said. but you made it pretty clear you weren't interested in doing anything else. sure, i could have gone to work tonight anyway, like you said. but i was so looking forward to doing something with you, that i wanted to be ready whenever YOU were ready for ME. how completely pathetic. i deserve every kick while i'm down.
i don't give a fuck who you are. i can't stand being hurt anymore, so i'll just be the one who doesn't care.
i can't believe i've cried over you.