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I just felt the need to say something, but I don't want anyone else to read it... cause if I don't I'll go nuts.
I don't know what to think anymore. I know I might sound depressed, I might even sound not 'me'.... but I can't help it. I am seriously on the verge of breaking down, despite having the talk with Oishi last night; which indeed makes me feel a little better.
This morning, it messed up again. Echizen avoiding me... that much, I accept. Tezuka dropped by wanting me to talk to Echizen, how can I when Echizen walked off each time at the sight of me? I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm frustrated, I'm confused at my own thinking. Why am I having such thoughts all the time?
Last night, I even find Oishi adorable... well, the truth is I still think he's adorable whenever he blushes. Oishi is really a very good friend, if I hadn't already been attracted to Echizen in the first place.... I might even considered having him in my life.
What the hell am I thinking about. Geez...I'm so messed up. I don't think I even know how to think anymore. Now even Yuuta is worrying about me, I better solve this matter soon. Otherwise, Yumiko Neesan might be on the next flight over and tried to send me for counseling. Now, I just felt like hiding in my room not going out, but I can't... cause that's simply not me at all.
I smile, I always smile... even when I felt like crying. Eiji have been very supporting, he avoid bugging me most of the time. He respected my privacy, my need for solace and silence. He granted me all that, I'm sorry for causing him all that inconvenience.
I don't know what I'm feeling anymore. Maybe it's really time to give up, I don't think I can stand this any longer. Perhaps it's even better for me to put relationship aside and concentrate on my studies for once, I don't know...
I don't know what to think anymore, I'm tired of all this...
Saa... I think that's all....
(OOC: for plp who wanna to RP log with me... contact me via MSN or YIM. I try my best to cooperate... Take note, I have no idea how to start off... so you guys better start off first. Cause, I'm in extremely angst mood...any logs which have me starting off will either ended up weird, strange, crack... or it will be heavy atmosphere.)
I don't know what to think anymore. I know I might sound depressed, I might even sound not 'me'.... but I can't help it. I am seriously on the verge of breaking down, despite having the talk with Oishi last night; which indeed makes me feel a little better.
This morning, it messed up again. Echizen avoiding me... that much, I accept. Tezuka dropped by wanting me to talk to Echizen, how can I when Echizen walked off each time at the sight of me? I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm frustrated, I'm confused at my own thinking. Why am I having such thoughts all the time?
Last night, I even find Oishi adorable... well, the truth is I still think he's adorable whenever he blushes. Oishi is really a very good friend, if I hadn't already been attracted to Echizen in the first place.... I might even considered having him in my life.
What the hell am I thinking about. Geez...I'm so messed up. I don't think I even know how to think anymore. Now even Yuuta is worrying about me, I better solve this matter soon. Otherwise, Yumiko Neesan might be on the next flight over and tried to send me for counseling. Now, I just felt like hiding in my room not going out, but I can't... cause that's simply not me at all.
I smile, I always smile... even when I felt like crying. Eiji have been very supporting, he avoid bugging me most of the time. He respected my privacy, my need for solace and silence. He granted me all that, I'm sorry for causing him all that inconvenience.
I don't know what I'm feeling anymore. Maybe it's really time to give up, I don't think I can stand this any longer. Perhaps it's even better for me to put relationship aside and concentrate on my studies for once, I don't know...
I don't know what to think anymore, I'm tired of all this...
Saa... I think that's all....
(OOC: for plp who wanna to RP log with me... contact me via MSN or YIM. I try my best to cooperate... Take note, I have no idea how to start off... so you guys better start off first. Cause, I'm in extremely angst mood...any logs which have me starting off will either ended up weird, strange, crack... or it will be heavy atmosphere.)