Life update
I keep telling myself that I will post more often here and then I always forget or get sidetracked. I am just going to have to push myself to sit down and do it. Or at least I will try.
I apologize in advance for the length this post may be...
Hives...
It's been almost six months that I have been having issues with hives. I know I have posted in the past about them but I figure an update was needed. Some of you may know that they have been getting more aggressive and more of a pain in the ass for me (the past two nights I haven't slept really well because they wake me up because they itch so fucking bad). I have been reading and looking into some of the stuff on This Website, complements of Shelly (=3). I just started reading the info on there so I haven't done anything yet, but there is a lot of useful info there. My allergist is working really well with me and has already planned a course if the current meds I am taking don't work out well. I forget the name of the med but if I were to go on it I know I would need to have my eyes checked twice a year due to the side effect - a 1% chance of perminently decreasing my vision. I guess it's kind of scary, but not knowing why I have these hives and what they might do is even scarier... I told myself that I was going to go on with life as if I didn't have these, but now that they are extremely itchy, I will just have to push myself. Sometimes I wonder if I broke out in hives like this because of my weight... but it's just a thought and probably has nothing to do with it...
Parents...
Mostly my mother. She's a pain in my ass. Getting on my case about how I don't know how to handle money and trying to control me. It's getting to me. I don't even feel like she is my mom any more. She doesn't give me advice, but critisizes me for every thing I do. I can't remember the last time she gave me a complement, not that I am seeking attention like an attention whore, but it would be nice if she said something postive every once in a while. Like I want to get an appartment with my cousin and a friend of ours and she flat out told me that it was the wrong thing to do and that I would get screwed over and it was a waste of my money... but she was all for me getting an appartment. Then she even started suggesting my own friends to me that I could potentially live with. After that she was nagging at me that I should look on Criag's list... Later she suggested that I move into my grandfather's house - which, I might add, still has a shit load of crap in it that my mom and here sister are still going through... defeating the purpose of actually moving out of the house b/c she would still be there to manipulate me.. So needless to say I have doubt in my mind about moving out... I don't know if I want to, but fuck, I need to get the hell out of this house. Even my dad said so... he told me if it doesn't work out, I can always move back and learn from the experience... Seriously, why can't my mom be like this. Regardless, I think I will still try it. I am looking for a different job, one that will pay more money for what I am worth. Who knows... maybe if I find this job I will be able to afford the place on my own even if my cousin and our friend can't.
Life...
Not much happening here. I feel so down, sad and depressed. More internally than anything else really, at least I feel like I hide it pretty well on the outside. I called my doctor to set up an appointment to see if I can get on some meds again, I kind of completely stopped them when the whole hive issue started - I know, that wasn't a smart move. I really see a difference in myself though, that's why I really want to get back on something. I hate the me I am right now... It's not who I am... I don't know, it's reallyhard to explain I guess. I just want to feel better, just want something positive to happen to me.
But then again, I did get the time off I needed to take off for my trip to New Zealand approved. So I have a job at least! I was really excited about this. And yes - for those of you who did not know, I am going to New Zealand for a week with my father. He's going on a hunting trip and told me that if I wanted to go I was more than welcome to come, just bring some spending money - everything else is paid for. Of course I am going to go xD.
Well that's a pretty good update I think... so at on that note I am going to go take an aveeno bath in hopes that it will help my itching hives calm down.
I apologize in advance for the length this post may be...
Hives...
It's been almost six months that I have been having issues with hives. I know I have posted in the past about them but I figure an update was needed. Some of you may know that they have been getting more aggressive and more of a pain in the ass for me (the past two nights I haven't slept really well because they wake me up because they itch so fucking bad). I have been reading and looking into some of the stuff on This Website, complements of Shelly (=3). I just started reading the info on there so I haven't done anything yet, but there is a lot of useful info there. My allergist is working really well with me and has already planned a course if the current meds I am taking don't work out well. I forget the name of the med but if I were to go on it I know I would need to have my eyes checked twice a year due to the side effect - a 1% chance of perminently decreasing my vision. I guess it's kind of scary, but not knowing why I have these hives and what they might do is even scarier... I told myself that I was going to go on with life as if I didn't have these, but now that they are extremely itchy, I will just have to push myself. Sometimes I wonder if I broke out in hives like this because of my weight... but it's just a thought and probably has nothing to do with it...
Parents...
Mostly my mother. She's a pain in my ass. Getting on my case about how I don't know how to handle money and trying to control me. It's getting to me. I don't even feel like she is my mom any more. She doesn't give me advice, but critisizes me for every thing I do. I can't remember the last time she gave me a complement, not that I am seeking attention like an attention whore, but it would be nice if she said something postive every once in a while. Like I want to get an appartment with my cousin and a friend of ours and she flat out told me that it was the wrong thing to do and that I would get screwed over and it was a waste of my money... but she was all for me getting an appartment. Then she even started suggesting my own friends to me that I could potentially live with. After that she was nagging at me that I should look on Criag's list... Later she suggested that I move into my grandfather's house - which, I might add, still has a shit load of crap in it that my mom and here sister are still going through... defeating the purpose of actually moving out of the house b/c she would still be there to manipulate me.. So needless to say I have doubt in my mind about moving out... I don't know if I want to, but fuck, I need to get the hell out of this house. Even my dad said so... he told me if it doesn't work out, I can always move back and learn from the experience... Seriously, why can't my mom be like this. Regardless, I think I will still try it. I am looking for a different job, one that will pay more money for what I am worth. Who knows... maybe if I find this job I will be able to afford the place on my own even if my cousin and our friend can't.
Life...
Not much happening here. I feel so down, sad and depressed. More internally than anything else really, at least I feel like I hide it pretty well on the outside. I called my doctor to set up an appointment to see if I can get on some meds again, I kind of completely stopped them when the whole hive issue started - I know, that wasn't a smart move. I really see a difference in myself though, that's why I really want to get back on something. I hate the me I am right now... It's not who I am... I don't know, it's reallyhard to explain I guess. I just want to feel better, just want something positive to happen to me.
But then again, I did get the time off I needed to take off for my trip to New Zealand approved. So I have a job at least! I was really excited about this. And yes - for those of you who did not know, I am going to New Zealand for a week with my father. He's going on a hunting trip and told me that if I wanted to go I was more than welcome to come, just bring some spending money - everything else is paid for. Of course I am going to go xD.
Well that's a pretty good update I think... so at on that note I am going to go take an aveeno bath in hopes that it will help my itching hives calm down.