Absentia - Part IV
Title: Absentia
Pairing: Sehun/Kai; minor!(Sehun/Tao, Kai/Luhan, Sehun/Kris); slight!Sehun/Yixing
Rated: G
Summary: Sehun wishes to see the future. He unknowingly jumps in time and loses five years in the past. Slowly, he realizes, he didn't only lose time. He lost a lot.
The sun hasn't fully risen yet but Sehun is already up to prepare for the day's work ahead. He decided to drop the coat and tie persona, he has never been comfortable in those anyway. This time he picks something more casual yet still appropriate for work. He lets his hair down with his bangs falling just before his eyes, slick and pushed back hair is too tight according to him. As much as possible, he wants to look younger and carefree like the last time. And he wishes to see him again, like this.
A cheerful Sehun shows up in the office, smelling differently from the last time. He chose to go with the natural-flowery-citric scent he saw behind a line of strong male perfumes on his desk that make him dizzy. Kai would never want any of them on him. Yixing gives him an approving look when he leaves him to get work done on his own. Sehun, whatever the new Sehun has done in the past, is determined to show who he really is now. The Sehun Kai loved, and will love again, he swore to that.
Yixing left a note on his table, Sehun noticed. He pushed all the other documents on it and looked at the detailed addresses, contact nos., even office nos. and company email adresses written completely on the piece of paper. Below is his secretary's message: The cab will be waiting whenever you want to go.
Sehun smiles at his efficient secretary. He folds the paper into his pocket, and he gets on his laptop immediately.
Hey.
It took a while for a message to pop in. Sehun was revising a few good pages for the next edition when his heart flipped upon hearing the familiar ding.
Hey
Am I disturbing you?
Not really
How about this lunch? You free?
The conversation stops there. Sehun wills himself to go back to work, maybe he was pushing it too far. But he's not the type to get disheartened that early, he just needs to have the right timing. He sighs and turns to look at the rest of the unopened messages and letters on his table.
Most of them were congratulatory letters, flattering him and complimenting his work, the company's work, for the successful release of the special edition. However, even amongst the beautiful flowery words, Sehun could see through them. They're letters of envy and sarcastic remarks. How could he receive a lot of these, how did he have a lot of people biting him from behind? Sehun pushes them to the back of his head as he dumps every single letter in the bottom drawer. He's about to push it close when something caught his eye.
To: Mr. Oh Sehun
From: Dr. Wu
Feeling something at the back of his memory, he reaches out for it. At the same time, a ding pops in his laptop. He jumps up, bumping his head on a drawer handle, and looks at the reply eagerly.
I'm not, sorry
He bites his lip. Of course, he wasn't really expecting it to be easy. Sehun searches his head for a reply. What's he going to tell him now?
He starts typing.
I see. It's okay, maybe next ti--
He stops as he sees Kai typing again. He immediately deletes whatever he was saying.
I guess I can go
A wide smile spreads across his face.
"Yes!" He fist pumps the air before he realizes that his office has glass walls. Ignoring the few eyes on him, Sehun buries his head behind his laptop screen.
Okay, see you at twelve. At the intersection?
He picks the one nearest Kai's apartment. Yixing's report had been useful at once.
Okay
He leaves the office an hour before 12 though, the letter from the Dr. Wu long forgotten. Before meeting Kai, there's someone else he wants to see.
•
Three, four, five doorbell rings. Sehun stomps his foot impatiently. He hasn't changed a bit, he still lets Sehun wait at the door. Even after five years.
The doorbell rings again for the nth time and finally, the door opens with a sleepy looking tall man with shining studs on his ear, eyes turning into slits at the sunlight flashing in his vision. He covers his eyes by his hands as he looks for his uninvited guest. A shocked expression came round his face when the appearance of his bestfriend registers in his eyes. His jaw dropped.
"Ssup!" Sehun greets as he pushes himself in. Tao's hand falls from the door handle as he steps back unconsciously, letting his intruder come inside his new, at least to Sehun, flat.
"What are you doing here?"
The newcomer paces around the room with his hands on his hips before he looks back at his friend.
"Visiting you."
A moment of silence passed. Tao observes this friend who comes barging in his place after years, like nothing went wrong.
Five minutes of staring and Tao comes back to his senses.
"I'm sorry, but can you leave?"
He grips him by the wrist and pulls him back to the door.
"Huang Zitao!! What are. you. doing." Sehun struggles free.
"Leave." Tao says directly at him, his eyes flared up but they softened the moment the word came out harshly.
There was only confusion on Sehun's face. But he doesn't need to be told twice. He heard it loud and clear. Taking a last hurt look at his bestfriend, he steps out of the ajar door, the sudden wind slapping him on the face.
"I'm sorry." He heard him whisper behind him before the door clicked shut.
Sehun did something wrong. Something really really wrong.
•
The gloom in his face is more evident than ever as he stares at his own drink at the restaurant near the intersection. What did he do? That's the first time he saw Tao that mad at him. Also the first time he used that word to him. Ever.
However, the dark cloud above him vanishes immediately when he caught sight of him. Kai scans the room quickly before spotting Sehun at the side, quite away from most of the happily chatting customers. He hesistates for a bit but he steps forward, one by one, until he reaches Sehun's table.
"Thanks for coming."
Kai takes a seat opposite him and shrugs. The truth is, he doesn't really know why he agreed to this meeting. He was halfway into editing a photoshoot he needs for tomorrow and wasn't really intending to waste any time, but his instincts just told him to go. Maybe it's the way Sehun acted weirdly that made him go. Maybe he's just curious why he's pretending like things never happened. Four fucking years. There's no way he still feels the same. But something just makes him stay, want to know how a person can completely forget an incident that's bound to be remembered for a lifetime, at least for him.
The lunch didn't take long. Kai suddenly had to go and there was everything that Sehun still wants to say. They didn't talk much. It was awkward. How was Sehun going to keep talking to him when he has no idea what actually happened during the 5 missing years in his life. He was scared, maybe he is scared that Kai might ask him the same thing Tao did. So far he hasn't shunned him away yet. Not yet.
Soda spills down Tao's front.
"You don't remember anything?!"
As persistent as he always had been, Sehun came back to Tao's flat right after work. There were too much things running in his head that he can't just let himself live clueless of his own life. What would he become then? Screw Tao's temper and his remark.
"I don't."
However, when he showed up in his door for the second time that same day, he looked like he’s been guilty and wanted to take back his words. That made Sehun feel lighter.
"That's bullshit Oh Sehun."
At least he sounded like the same Zitao he has known. They were fond of calling themselves by full name when they're annoyed.
"Well it isn't." Sehun insisted. He told him about everything that happened to him during that fateful day, April 13, 2017. How he woke up to five years in the future. How he was just celebrating an awesome birthday with Kai the day before, where he didn't notice Tao's wince when he mentioned his name. The thing that amazes Sehun is that Tao looks as if he's accepting his story, not judging him at all. Maybe because they've had years and years together. But what's taking him long is to convince him that he doesn't really know what happened next. Sure he could believe Sehun waking up 5 years later after wishing on a falling star, but not Sehun not remembering anything he did in those five years.
"How the fuck am I going to tell you everything?"
"What happened?"
It takes long silence from Tao.
"I don't know."
Sehun slumps his shoulders and leans back on the warm soft couch.
"How long have we stopped talking?" It came out as a whisper.
"About 4 years."
4 years. Again.
"The same time I stopped seeing Kai."
Tao chokes.
"Kai? Kim Jongin?" He chuckles bitterly.
"What?"
"Have you even seen him?"
"I have."
Tao chokes the second time.
"You what?"
"I saw him today."
He freezes for a bit. "And did he tell you anything?"
It made Sehun feel uneasy. It's probably going to be a lifetime question, what happened?
"He didn't say anything about the past."
That made Tao uncomfortable.
"I see."
"What?" Sehun asks him again.
"I'm..." He stops and weighs his options. To tell Sehun about everything, or just do it the Kai way, purse his lips. "I don't think I can tell you what happened."
"Why not? You know you're my one and only bestfriend Tao!" Sehun whines.
He flinched. That would have been true, four years ago. He turns serious, before he heaves a sigh.
"But I'm not anymore."
They promised to keep in contact. But Tao didn't promise he'll ever say anything about what Sehun wants to know. He just said he can't.
He sits up straight from his bed, battling whether he should thank him again for the company during lunch or not. It's pretty obvious he just wants to talk to him again. It's true Sehun might have overcame his fear of the dark in those lost years, but there's another reason why he can sleep with a little smile on his face now. It still connects to Kai.
"Why am I getting all worked up? I'm just going to say thank you." Sehun talks to himself. It's turning into a habit.
He finally had the courage to ask for his number. While at lunch, he told himself it's now or never.
"Kai." The way he pronounces his name still makes Kai's brows meet.
"Do you mind if... I add you to my contacts?"
Kai blinks. "Sure."
They exchanged numbers. Sehun told himself he won't pester him with messages, but he excludes this time. He's only going to thank him for the company earlier.
I had a good lunch. Thanks.
He prays.
I did too. Thanks
Glad to hear that. That's the first time I ate with you again.
Yeah
Sehun puts his phone near his chest. It's been bugging him ever since.
Kai?
Hm?
I'm not sure of what happened between us. But, can we still be friends again?
Kai takes a few minutes before he replies.
I guess
He stares at it for a long while. Sehun wonders what he meant by it. But before he could stupidly ask him, he received another message from him.
I'm not sure why you don't remember but maybe, just maybe, we can be friends again
I also want to know. Thank you.
Sehun's heart wants to leap out. This is a big step. He's going to get Kai back.
It's late. Goodnight Sehun
His happiness couldn't even be denied. Sehun closes his eyes at this progress. Just how much did he miss Kai?
Goodnight Kai.
What was that Kim Jongin, Kai pinches the bridge of his nose. Maybe, just as friends. Just friends.
•
Wearing a bow neatly on top of his white collared top and comfortable black jeans paired with grey flat sneakers, Sehun rings the doorbell with his heart thumping a little too loud, a pizza in hand as a form of peace offering.
A breezy Saturday blows outside, the chill biting his skin when the door opens to a clueless Kai.
"Hi."
"Oh." Kai's expression changed from startled to worried.
"Sorry I just came without telling you. I just wanted to thank you, and say sorry?" He had always wanted to do that. After all these years, he knows it's his fault.
Sehun wraps an arm around himself to protect him from the cold weather. Kai noticed it and reluctantly invited him in.
The room is almost identical to the previous apartment they shared. Kai moved to a different building he doesn't know when, but it feels different being in it. The vibe is too alien to him.
Sehun hands the pizza to Kai, an awkward silence followed after.
"Sehun I--"
"Jongin?"
Another voice called out from inside another room. Sehun looks up surprised from that new voice, confusion dawning on his face as he turns back to Kai.
"Ah." This person appears in the living room. "You have a guest."
The smile on Sehun's face faded as he faced a young-looking boy across the room. There's a soft smile playing on his lips as he looks at Sehun with welcoming eyes. Creases form at the corners of his eyes and he turns to Kai, Jongin as he calls him.
"Jongin?" The boy calls his attention as if to ask him to introduce this new friend.
"Luhan." Kai sighs. He looks back at Sehun.
"This is Sehun."
Something passed in his eyes, recognition if he's not wrong.
"Sehun." Kai couldn't even look him in the eyes.
"This is Luhan."
Luhan smiles widely.
"It's nice to meet you, Sehun."
The walk back home takes a million slow painful years, in Sehun's head. He wasn't even able to give a proper greeting back before he realized he's dashing out the door, full red in the face, and warm wet traitor tears slipping through the folds of his eyes rolling down his smooth heated cheeks. Who could blame him for what he's feeling? It's so unfair. In their eyes it's been five years. To him, it's just five days. Days since that memorable night with him. Days just before he wakes up alone and different.
It's unfair.
Sehun stops at another's door and he rings it once before it takes a full swing, their eyes connect for a second, and he's pulled into a huge long warm embrace while his eyes gush out with tears uncontrollably.
"What happened?" It might have been years since their friendship has ended, but it's probably in his nature to hold someone in need. Or just hold Sehun when he's in need. Just like before.
"How much did I change?" Sehun shakes in his arms.
Tao remains silent.
"What did I do wrong?"
The pain strikes in Tao's eyes.
"It's better if you don't know."