06. Lovers: Chinami
Chinami continued to anxiously pace the carpet in front of the closed bedroom door, unable to stop himself from fidgeting despite years of disciplined upbringing. It was always like this when it came to her, some part of his mind observed - not that that bit of objective truth improved his mood any. But, he argued with himself, when forced to wait like this for her to get changed before they could go to dinner, what else was he supposed to do?
He'd never honestly been affected by the opposite sex until Yuki came along. His father had raised him to treat women with respect and consideration, but that was the extent of Chinami's "special attention" to them. Whenever fellow soldiers had tried to engage him in conversations of the careless, cruder kind, Chinami had discouraged them with an appropriate level of disapproval. When, inevitably, Chinami became directly subject to teasing about finding a female companion and a lover-eventually-bride, he responded by dismissing the topic as irrelevant, and nothing more than a distraction to his and the Mito's current focus. He didn't understand why they kept making such a big deal about it anyway, he thought crossly. His older brother would have been the one to next bear his family's name; it wasn't something he had to worry about any time soon. At any rate, there had been no female soldiers in his company, and aside from his mother and grandmother, women were altogether beings of a different world from his.
Until Yuki, that pesky part of his mind reminded him yet again.
He checked his watch, and was both placated and annoyed by the fact that it had barely been seven minutes since Yuki had disappeared behind the door to her room. He wished he'd insisted harder that she didn't bother dressing up, given that it was just the two of them taking tonight's meal, but she'd been charmingly adamant about wanting to look nice, and he'd given in.
Sigh. Is this what it meant to have a - a...
...he couldn't finish the sentence. The unspoken word carried so many implications that the weight of it made his head spin.
He had, actually, approached Makoto about this once when he was a boy, and while his older brother had handled the topic with as much grace as one could expect, it made Chinami's cheeks burn just to remember it, so he typically tried to avoid recalling it to mind. Today, however, he felt a particular part of that long-ago conversation fall sharply into focus.
"Chinami. You'll know your lover by the way you'll never want to leave her behind, no matter how much she keeps you waiting - remember, however, if she's the lover truly meant for you, then she'll never keep you waiting long."
This didn't make sense to Chinami at the time - and even now, it still didn't - and in his flustered frustration the boy had loudly told his brother as much in no uncertain terms. Makoto had then smiled and told his younger brother that when Chinami found a girl he loved, one who loved him back, that he would understand instinctively why people made such a big deal over finding a woman and "being lovers". When Chinami had continued to express skepticism, Makoto had quietly reassurred him that, yes, he would simply "know" when that time came.
Chinami's pacing stopped completely as his musings deepened, the conflicting and embarrassing emotions surging more and more strongly the longer he let himself dwell on this topic. He was certainly waiting on Yuki now, but surely his brother hadn't meant it to be that literal... had he?
"Would... that mean... she and I... are... lovers...?"
Given the way that the word still made his face hot just thinking it, much less saying it aloud, if that was the case then he clearly needed to better prepare himself. Gripping his braid so hard it would probably leave marks on his palms, he tried repeating that last word over and over to himself in hopes of getting himself used to the sound.
Naturally, it didn't work very well.
"Dammitall, why is this so awkward!" he fumed out loud, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation, giving up.
"...Chinami-kun?" came a hesitant voice from behind him. Chinami spun around in startlement to see Yuki peeking out at him, eyes wide, from behind the still mostly-closed door. "Is everything okay?"
"Y-yeah, everything's fine!" Chinami responded in an overly loud voice, trying to divert attention away from his embarrassment and failing terribly, forcing him to avoid her gaze instead. He added gruffly, "Are you done yet? I've been waiting."
"Ah, yes, I'm so sorry," she said sheepishly. "I know I kept you waiting... but I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long...?"
...you'll never want to leave her behind, no matter how much she keeps you waiting...
Chinami was caught off guard by the uncanny way her words overlapped with the ones in his memory. It was at that very moment she opened the door the rest of the way, and those words then blurred together with the charming vision of her in a white dress, her hair pulled back from her face, her clear, gentle eyes gazing earnestly up at him.
He had to tear his eyes from her with an effort, turning aside, heart pounding and face again crimson. He couldn't bring himself to say a word for fear of it coming out squeaky and uncontrolled.
She spoke up into the silence, sounding uncertain. "Chinami... kun...?"
The sound tugged at his heartstrings.
He immediately turned back to her, reached out and grabbed both of her hands, though with more force than he'd intended. "Yuki!" he declared. "Don't misunderstand. I'm not mad. If we're lovers, then I'll wait for you no matter how long it takes you. OK?"
She blinked at him, puzzled for a few moments by this curious assertion, then smiled back at him reassuringly in a genuinely sweet way that made his already racing heart skip a beat or two. "OK, Chinami-kun. Then, since it's only fair, I promise not to keep you waiting so much anymore. Deal?"
Chinami couldn't help but smile back, both for her, and for himself.
Ani-ue... you were right.
...after all... I just know.
"Yeah. It's a deal."
He'd never honestly been affected by the opposite sex until Yuki came along. His father had raised him to treat women with respect and consideration, but that was the extent of Chinami's "special attention" to them. Whenever fellow soldiers had tried to engage him in conversations of the careless, cruder kind, Chinami had discouraged them with an appropriate level of disapproval. When, inevitably, Chinami became directly subject to teasing about finding a female companion and a lover-eventually-bride, he responded by dismissing the topic as irrelevant, and nothing more than a distraction to his and the Mito's current focus. He didn't understand why they kept making such a big deal about it anyway, he thought crossly. His older brother would have been the one to next bear his family's name; it wasn't something he had to worry about any time soon. At any rate, there had been no female soldiers in his company, and aside from his mother and grandmother, women were altogether beings of a different world from his.
Until Yuki, that pesky part of his mind reminded him yet again.
He checked his watch, and was both placated and annoyed by the fact that it had barely been seven minutes since Yuki had disappeared behind the door to her room. He wished he'd insisted harder that she didn't bother dressing up, given that it was just the two of them taking tonight's meal, but she'd been charmingly adamant about wanting to look nice, and he'd given in.
Sigh. Is this what it meant to have a - a...
...he couldn't finish the sentence. The unspoken word carried so many implications that the weight of it made his head spin.
He had, actually, approached Makoto about this once when he was a boy, and while his older brother had handled the topic with as much grace as one could expect, it made Chinami's cheeks burn just to remember it, so he typically tried to avoid recalling it to mind. Today, however, he felt a particular part of that long-ago conversation fall sharply into focus.
"Chinami. You'll know your lover by the way you'll never want to leave her behind, no matter how much she keeps you waiting - remember, however, if she's the lover truly meant for you, then she'll never keep you waiting long."
This didn't make sense to Chinami at the time - and even now, it still didn't - and in his flustered frustration the boy had loudly told his brother as much in no uncertain terms. Makoto had then smiled and told his younger brother that when Chinami found a girl he loved, one who loved him back, that he would understand instinctively why people made such a big deal over finding a woman and "being lovers". When Chinami had continued to express skepticism, Makoto had quietly reassurred him that, yes, he would simply "know" when that time came.
Chinami's pacing stopped completely as his musings deepened, the conflicting and embarrassing emotions surging more and more strongly the longer he let himself dwell on this topic. He was certainly waiting on Yuki now, but surely his brother hadn't meant it to be that literal... had he?
"Would... that mean... she and I... are... lovers...?"
Given the way that the word still made his face hot just thinking it, much less saying it aloud, if that was the case then he clearly needed to better prepare himself. Gripping his braid so hard it would probably leave marks on his palms, he tried repeating that last word over and over to himself in hopes of getting himself used to the sound.
Naturally, it didn't work very well.
"Dammitall, why is this so awkward!" he fumed out loud, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation, giving up.
"...Chinami-kun?" came a hesitant voice from behind him. Chinami spun around in startlement to see Yuki peeking out at him, eyes wide, from behind the still mostly-closed door. "Is everything okay?"
"Y-yeah, everything's fine!" Chinami responded in an overly loud voice, trying to divert attention away from his embarrassment and failing terribly, forcing him to avoid her gaze instead. He added gruffly, "Are you done yet? I've been waiting."
"Ah, yes, I'm so sorry," she said sheepishly. "I know I kept you waiting... but I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long...?"
...you'll never want to leave her behind, no matter how much she keeps you waiting...
Chinami was caught off guard by the uncanny way her words overlapped with the ones in his memory. It was at that very moment she opened the door the rest of the way, and those words then blurred together with the charming vision of her in a white dress, her hair pulled back from her face, her clear, gentle eyes gazing earnestly up at him.
He had to tear his eyes from her with an effort, turning aside, heart pounding and face again crimson. He couldn't bring himself to say a word for fear of it coming out squeaky and uncontrolled.
She spoke up into the silence, sounding uncertain. "Chinami... kun...?"
The sound tugged at his heartstrings.
He immediately turned back to her, reached out and grabbed both of her hands, though with more force than he'd intended. "Yuki!" he declared. "Don't misunderstand. I'm not mad. If we're lovers, then I'll wait for you no matter how long it takes you. OK?"
She blinked at him, puzzled for a few moments by this curious assertion, then smiled back at him reassuringly in a genuinely sweet way that made his already racing heart skip a beat or two. "OK, Chinami-kun. Then, since it's only fair, I promise not to keep you waiting so much anymore. Deal?"
Chinami couldn't help but smile back, both for her, and for himself.
Ani-ue... you were right.
...after all... I just know.
"Yeah. It's a deal."