I is for Individual: Jacob Alphabet Soup fic for SG-1 Gen Fic Day
Title: I is for Individual
Author: sela21k
Characters: Jacob Carter, Selmak
Spoilers: None
Rating: Gen
Length: 567 words
Written for Jacob Alphabet Soup Day
Individuality: The set of characteristics that somebody recognizes as belonging uniquely to himself or herself and constituting his or her individual personality for life.
“Individual…” Jacob repeated quietly to himself as he closed the dictionary.
Individual…echoed in his head in the voice of someone he did/didn’t know.
“That’s the problem, isn’t it?” Selmak prodded gently.
Jacob sighed. “Individual…for life. But not anymore”
“In a way, yes.” Selmak agreed. “We are together for life.”
“We.” Jacob whispered. “We.”
“Yes, we.” Selmak confirmed. “In your language, a first person plural personal pronoun used to refer to the speaker and at least one other person.”
Jacob smiled wanly. “You sound like my fifth grade English teacher.”
“I have been many things, including a teacher,” Selmak replied.
“I”, Jacob repeated woefully.
“First person singular pronoun used by the individual to refer to himself or herself.”
“Individual.”
“Yes.”
“Singular.”
“Yes.”
“Am I, still?” Jacob asked plaintively. “An individual? With my own thoughts and feelings? Am I still singular?”
He could feel Selmak smile gently. “The very fact that you can ask that question proves that you are.”
Jacob shook his head. “I’m not so sure.” he said. “After all I’m alone in this room but yet not alone in my head. You’re always going to be there.” He sighed. “A man does need some private space - especially from the women in his life.”
Selmak laughed. “The reason you think of me as a woman is because you still think of me as my former host. I have been both male and female.”
“Ok, see that’s what I mean. I didn’t need to know that.” Jacob rubbed his temples feeling a headache coming on. “Too much information, in my head with no way to filter it out.”
Realizing the headache was the result of emotional tension, Selmak decided against trying to ease it. It was important to let the host experience the full extent of what they were feeling in order to allow them to accept all that the blending could offer at their own pace. Right now Jacob was struggling with what he perceived to be his loss of individuality, identity, self. It happened with all blendings and it was perhaps the most difficult part for the host.
“There are ways for us to establish boundaries,” Selmak assured him gently. “And you will learn them. Our blending is still new, days old. Give yourself time.”
“Myself…”
“First person reflexive pronoun, used when the object of a verb or preposition refers to the same person as the subject of the verb - ”
“Ok, whoa!” Jacob laughed. “I get it, I get it.” His headache was started to ease. “So, there are ways that I can still keep to myself to myself? There are some very personal…intimate…private - ”
“Yes,” Selmak assured him firmly. “You can block off any memories, thoughts or subjects you want to keep to yourself and I will respect that. You will also find there are memories I have that I want to keep to myself as well.”
“We can do that?” Jacob asked relieved. “And you won’t be …
“Offended? Not at all.” Selmak replied. “Every individual needs to have their space. Especially in their own head.”
Jacob let out a deep breath. His headache was gone now. “Then I think I’m going to be ok.” he said laying the dictionary aside.
“Yes,” Selmak said fondly. “You are.”
Author: sela21k
Characters: Jacob Carter, Selmak
Spoilers: None
Rating: Gen
Length: 567 words
Written for Jacob Alphabet Soup Day
Individuality: The set of characteristics that somebody recognizes as belonging uniquely to himself or herself and constituting his or her individual personality for life.
“Individual…” Jacob repeated quietly to himself as he closed the dictionary.
Individual…echoed in his head in the voice of someone he did/didn’t know.
“That’s the problem, isn’t it?” Selmak prodded gently.
Jacob sighed. “Individual…for life. But not anymore”
“In a way, yes.” Selmak agreed. “We are together for life.”
“We.” Jacob whispered. “We.”
“Yes, we.” Selmak confirmed. “In your language, a first person plural personal pronoun used to refer to the speaker and at least one other person.”
Jacob smiled wanly. “You sound like my fifth grade English teacher.”
“I have been many things, including a teacher,” Selmak replied.
“I”, Jacob repeated woefully.
“First person singular pronoun used by the individual to refer to himself or herself.”
“Individual.”
“Yes.”
“Singular.”
“Yes.”
“Am I, still?” Jacob asked plaintively. “An individual? With my own thoughts and feelings? Am I still singular?”
He could feel Selmak smile gently. “The very fact that you can ask that question proves that you are.”
Jacob shook his head. “I’m not so sure.” he said. “After all I’m alone in this room but yet not alone in my head. You’re always going to be there.” He sighed. “A man does need some private space - especially from the women in his life.”
Selmak laughed. “The reason you think of me as a woman is because you still think of me as my former host. I have been both male and female.”
“Ok, see that’s what I mean. I didn’t need to know that.” Jacob rubbed his temples feeling a headache coming on. “Too much information, in my head with no way to filter it out.”
Realizing the headache was the result of emotional tension, Selmak decided against trying to ease it. It was important to let the host experience the full extent of what they were feeling in order to allow them to accept all that the blending could offer at their own pace. Right now Jacob was struggling with what he perceived to be his loss of individuality, identity, self. It happened with all blendings and it was perhaps the most difficult part for the host.
“There are ways for us to establish boundaries,” Selmak assured him gently. “And you will learn them. Our blending is still new, days old. Give yourself time.”
“Myself…”
“First person reflexive pronoun, used when the object of a verb or preposition refers to the same person as the subject of the verb - ”
“Ok, whoa!” Jacob laughed. “I get it, I get it.” His headache was started to ease. “So, there are ways that I can still keep to myself to myself? There are some very personal…intimate…private - ”
“Yes,” Selmak assured him firmly. “You can block off any memories, thoughts or subjects you want to keep to yourself and I will respect that. You will also find there are memories I have that I want to keep to myself as well.”
“We can do that?” Jacob asked relieved. “And you won’t be …
“Offended? Not at all.” Selmak replied. “Every individual needs to have their space. Especially in their own head.”
Jacob let out a deep breath. His headache was gone now. “Then I think I’m going to be ok.” he said laying the dictionary aside.
“Yes,” Selmak said fondly. “You are.”