Deprivation [s/a]

[selectivelyurie]

Title: Deprivation
Author: selectivelyurie
Rating: R
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon (the one and only)
Summary: Somewhere between "Hi, I'm Brendon" and now...he and Ryan fell into this really strange relationship.
Disclaimer: Don't own, not true (or is it?)
Beta: alphabetatoast
Author Notes: This is meant to hurt. There is no happy ending, no life altering declarations of love, no

Comments

[isuzuchan44]

oh you fucking amazing little thing
this is going in my mems for sure. like, seriously, just this...THIS. You fucking kfjaskfjasf.

Ryan feels like acceptance but tastes like denial.

Brendon kisses Ryan two more slow times, pecks his lips once and says, "I love you," and Ryan says, "Jon and I are leaving."

This is where it stop stop stops.

So perfect. So fucking perfect and it hurts so fucking much and just, I cried at least twice, maybe three times, and my stomach is still sinking but jesus fucking christ, girl, YOU

That was gorgeous and lovely and yeah, it was hurty but I am such a fucking sucker for hurty fic, and even if I did hesitate to read this at first, I'm so glad I did.

No lie, just -
god i love you and i love ryan and brendon and love all this fic said about them

[selectivelyurie]

jiasdio;lkjsad i love keysmashes :'D

thank you so so so much! i'm a sucker for hurty fic, too, bb. don't worry. and i'm so glad you enjoyed this. i really tried to do their relationship justice and i hope i did just that.

i love you too :) ♥

[verbosediatribe]

Ouch. I cried this hurt so much. Beautiful and the style suits you.

[verbosediatribe]

Also! The ending felt kind of abrupt, but in a way that really fit the fic. Good job.

[selectivelyurie]

yeah, i thought the ending was abrupt too. i was actually going to expand on it further and make it a happy ending, since it was for the rydenrevival but then i thought about how abrupt the split seemed to everyone, even if we all did see it coming to a certain extent.

plus, i'm leaving it up to interpretation to see if they get back together. their relationship is stop start stop stop stop so maybe there's one more stop and then the final start... :)

[selectivelyurie]

thank you so much! i was so worried this style would be confusing :\

[watchingthe_sky]

"You don't love me and I don't love you," Brendon swallows a sob and catches Ryan's hand softly. Ryan jerks away annoyed, finishes, "We just get by." and He hates the stop-start-stop-stop-stop of Ryan's touches and apparently his emotions, and Brendon just wants Ryan to notice him again. Um, ouch.

Just beyond beautiful and hurty. The way you incorporated the stop-start-stop-stop-stop into the end, Brendon's love and desperation, and Ryan's fucked up-ness(idk) just fit. Perfectly done, even though it totally made me want to cry.

[selectivelyurie]

thank you so much! omg, thank you :)

i really wanted to portray that, how different they are but how they "just fit." i've always thought that was the epitome of them/their relationship.

again, thank you. it means so much ♥

[nyquil_love]

I loved this very much!
I feel like I've been on an emotional journey.
You did a really great job with the pacing and wording and you made it come to life.
I really just want to cry for Brendon right now.
<3

[selectivelyurie]

thank you! :D

i really like that you used that word, "journey," cause that's exactly what i think of when i think of their relationship. and i'm glad i could make it come to life, even if brendon is breaking everyone's heart :(

♥

[starlesscities]

no :(

[selectivelyurie]

♥ :(

[starlesscities]

no

[selectivelyurie]

stop-start-stop-stop-stop

one more stop and maybe they'll reach their final start :)