My last letter to Darren
June 24, 2009
Darren,
I know about Mandy. I’ve seen the photos. You can thank some of our mutual friends for that one. Gee, Darren, I thought you were a genius. You obviously didn’t think that one through enough did you? Seriously, if you are going to cheat on someone; you don’t post the evidence on MSN or anywhere else on the internet. It’s a small place the internet is and word does get around.
Now that I think of it, you could have planned it that way. Either way, you have the girl you want. Congratulations for you. I hope you two are happy and the two of you have dozens of fat children.
Eventually, everyone’s time come due. One day when you are old and wrinkled perhaps you will think back on the moment you decided to cheat and you’ll realize how much you hurt me by allowing things to happen the way you planned it. You will also realize if all you wanted was out all you had to do was ask. I would have gladly understood and let you go. You know I would have despite how much it would have hurt me for a short period of time.
But don’t think for a moment I am going to dwell on you for too long. Enough to mourn our love (obviously, it was more about my love for you than your love for me) of the past three years. However like the seasons, the pain will numb and I will re-discover a wonderful world with out you. I will re-learn my world doesn’t revolve around waiting for your phone calls. It doesn’t revolve around your emails, text messages, or instant messages. I will re-learn it doesn’t revolve around you! I am going to re-learn that I am an intelligent, beautiful, and creative person who doesn’t need you to tell me so.
I guess I’ve always known you used me to rebound from Leah (whether you admit to it or not) for the past three years. Seriously? How couldn’t I have known that? It’s difficult to admit that as much as you may find reading this letter because you know I am right. Let me tell you, this letter wasn’t easy to write either. I had to dig within my soul to search past the pain to try to find some peace so I can move on.
Losing you has hurt me greatly and I hope you realize how crappy it ended before you’re standing before God’s throne waiting for your judgment. I know he will hold you accountable for the pain you caused me. God will get his revenge for me. You just wait and see. I just hope you realize what it is when it happens. I also hope you realize what you have done to my heart.
This will be my last letter to you. Of this fact I am 99% certain of, unless you decide to shame yourself by writing another in response trying to explain exactly why and how those pictures of you two kissing (which were posted March 5,2009 and we didn’t really break up until 2 months later by my choice due to your lack of communication to me) wasn’t sexual and I’m overreacting. It’s kind of like that Kelly Clarkson son, “never again”; if she really knows the truth she deserves you.
I think what hurts me the most is that you took a page out of Paula’s book. You remember her. The bipolar/ borderline personality disorder friend of ours…you know the one who lied to us all and try to hide the fact. You did something wrong and you hid it from me thinking I would never find out or figure it out. How dumb do you really think I am? Reality check, I’m not the one who tried to hide anything from you. It is you who gets to wear the dunce cap.
Formerly yours,
Sandra