(Untitled)

[self_non_self]

I was walking through Harvard Square the other day, in the rain, and the part of my brain that is always lazily searching for evidence that the world is a holographic simulation was being more impertinent and disruptive than usual. Didn't that same guy just walk past me 30 seconds ago? A glitch in the matrix? And aren't those scan lines that I see

Comments

goddamn!!! I love reading your entries

[fierce_calm]

none of us ever achieve socially a completely accurate representation of what flutters around our subconscious, or even our conscious minds.

it's how someone as blonde as I am can get away with feeling like a internal phlisophical svante, despite a real lack of evidence of much depth in the reality of my daily life.

god i sound like such bullshit

good thing I have TV to numb my mind

Re: goddamn!!! I love reading your entries

[self_non_self]

I am always trying to bridge that gap between what we think & what we say, with indifferent success. When people show me their polished external facades, my first instinct is to try to disrupt & destabilize them somehow & uncover the raw alien beauty underneath. Most of the time they just flee in terror.

You're a blonde! It will take me a couple of hours to revise my mental picture of you as a bike-riding punk rock chick with green hair...

i AM a bike riding punk rock chick!!!

[fierce_calm]

I stopped dying my hair green and blue about a year ago. It just started getting old (plus so am I, I'm 30 now!!!!). Now the only evidence from looking at me, that I'm punkish, would be my annoyed bitter facial expressions, and bruises from falling off my bike.

Oh yeah and my collection of show flyers from 7 states that are covering my apartment walls.

In California though, it's almost more punk to not look punk. Everyone here has tattoos, dyed hair, studed leather jackets or mohawks. Most jobs here don't have many appearence restrictions, and if they do they mostly consist of: "could ya wear your mohawk down while at work" or "could you dye your hair red? Blue clashes with our decor".

Re: i AM a bike riding punk rock chick!!!

[self_non_self]

Haha, don't worry, I never for a moment doubted your bike-riding punk rock chick credentials, and I have not really made any radical changes to my mental picture of you. Bruises are definitely uber-punk. And I know what you mean about it being more punk to deny your punk-ness- it's true here too, I think. At least, in the goth scene you often find people sitting around talking about how they are definitely NOT GOTH, even though they are sitting in a goth club, listening to goth music, and have driven there in their Bugatti Gotharossas.

So, how did the Kurosawa party go? :)

[goddinpotty]

Stub your toe on a rock.

IRREVERSIBLE

Omlette on the belly in the subway.

[self_non_self]

the simulation will tell my brain that my toe hurts

LE TEMPS DÉTRUIT TOUT

an ejaculation on the abdomen, A DEAD SON

[goddinpotty]

You should amputate your toe or your brain.

Get the jump on time this time.

[self_non_self]

If I amputate my brain, then the simulation will end, & I'll find myself in a lab of some sort, surrounded by technicians who will shake my hand & say, "Thank you for participating in our study. Sorry to put you through all that, but take comfort in the fact that it was all for the sake of science and the greater good of us meta-creatures." And I will say, "But how do I know that this reality is any more real than the other?" And then the technicians will all make a face like David Bowie makes at the end of Labyrinth, and that reality will dissolve too, and I'll go through several more realities before finding myself in the ONE TRUE reality, which is probably just Ed O'Neill sitting on a couch with a defeated expression on his face, humming a Dadaist version of the theme from Bonanza- dum dee dee dum dee dee dum dee dee VEGETABLE GARDEN! dum dee dee dum dee dee dum dee dee dum dum dum dee dee dum dum CORN!