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Thursday night
Last Thursday was great. I went to Fanshaw park for the evening and spent the night drinking homemade wine and smoking pot and laughing with some really great people. The weather and sunset were amazing and it felt very exhilarating and refreshing to be out there. Even when I had moments of anxiety, I would just take a deep breath and focus on the ( Read more... ) -
where'd that month go?
I haven't forgotten about this blog. I just either don't have the time, energy, or interest to write anything. Okay, I'm kind of just making excuses but there really isn't much to tell ( Read more... ) -
poor and miserable
My parents are coming home soom, probably tomorrow and I have a shit load of cleaning to do. I just don't want to do it, nor have to put up with their resentful bullshit again ( Read more... ) -
FUCK
Fuck this, fuck everything... I wish i was dead. i wish the people i hate were dead. everything still fucking hurts. i wish everyone was dead, fucking cold abusive world. fuck everything. why do abusers get to have "normal" lives and be happy and fulfilled and have friends and jobs and sparkly fucking bliss while "survivours" have to suffer day in ( Read more... ) -
drowning in pills
So I go to the doctor to express my concern about the quantity of medications I am on (like how they will affect my physiology in the longterm) and the possibility of reducing them and instead she suggestes that I start taking more ( Read more... ) -
Glucometer
Finally got my glucometer yesterday (mar 25) after some running around. The pharmacy I usually use really sucks and I ended up going to a pharmacy that's about a 20 minute bus ride away. The people there are much nicer and don't fuck around. I might go back again ( Read more... ) -
socially retarded
I might have Aspergers. While I'm not thrilled at possibly being labelled as autistic, it certainly makes sense of my life of social failure and emotion disconnectedness from the world ( Read more... ) -
8 hours of art
Ah well, not making art, but 8 hours of reorganizing and fine tuning both by Flickr account and my new DeviantART account last night and this morning. Kinda pointless though since both accounts have pretty much the same artwork on them. I supposed it is a step closer to actually making something, though I have the supplies and the time when it ( Read more... ) -
Pharmacy hilarity
So what happens when someone who is dependant upon their medication to stay calm and sane is told by their pharmacy that said pharmacy has run out of stock on the medication that person relies on ( Read more... ) -
Feeling better.
I think the new medication I am on (Effexor) is starting to take effect. There is still a lot of shit going on, but I feel more calm. At least seem to be able to think about the situations and realities of my life with out panicking or having an emotional meltdown. I actually have been thinking about making art again, which is something I haven't ( Read more... )