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Hen's Nights - The most attention you'll ever get in Sydney
So last weekend I went on a hen's night. I thought it was going to be the hen's night of torture, but it wasn't too bad. Let's recap through the wonder of bullet points.
- Started off at the Uber Bar, where the security guard told us to say hi to the DJ
- We get up there and ask for a random shot, which ended up being some blueberry something
- Say hi to DJ, and he's immediately happy it's a hen's night
- Go to the bathroom, meet up with some other hen's night and join forces
- DJ says the brides-to-be have to go find a man to dance with. Bride is too shy, so I go look for one for her, and manage to convince the best looking one there to dance with her. Points for me.
- Have another random shot, this time bartender laughs because it was basically liquid burning.
- Other hen manages to get random men to strip for her. Me and some guy steal one of the shirts, and the half naked man starts getting worried his Versace business shirt has disappeared
- Leave the Uber Bar; Bride's sister wants to go to some place called The Red Room at Martin Place so we start walking
- She sees three huge Tongan guys and yells out "Are you going to The Red Room?" They say "YES" and we follow
- Get to The Red Room and it's shit, so we leave almost immediately
- Start walking again hoping we'll randomly find somewhere to go
- Bride's sister says 'King's Cross?', I say 'Oxford Street?' and Bride goes "Taxi either way"
- Hail a taxi, where the cabbie was so obviously on coke. He made our decision for us and said "OXFORD STREET HAHAHA YAY HOPE YOU GIRLS PICK UP WOOOO"
- Get out of the cab, Bride wants to go to the Tool Shed, but first we want a drink
- Find a bottle shop, buy a few miniatures and then drink on the street
- Go up to Tool Shed where I had to explain what all the bondage gear was to them, while Bride's sister tried on gimp masks and restraint bars
- Bride goes to buy a sexy feather duster, but man behind the counter gives it to her for free
- Hungry, so we have pizza at New York Slice
- Few gay guys join us, one eats half of Bride's pizza while telling us about how he hitchhiked from Melbourne all the way to Sydney.
- They have to go, so they hug us and say "Normally Hen's nights are deadly, but you guys are gorgeous"
- Walk back down the other side of Oxford Street, where a homeless aboriginal woman started chasing us and throwing newspaper
- Bride needs to pee, we stop off in Hungry Jacks where we meet 'Vesna', a girl who is in hiding, wearing a wig and pretending to be Macadonian because "I'm going to get bashed for sleeping with too many guys". She tells us her life story, keeps asking if we can tell she's wearing a wig, nearly falls over on the way out.
- We leave, walk back to George Street, where a group of cops are being filmed by a camera crew
- About to cross the road when a car runs a red light. Lucky for him, there was that massive group of cops, so was pulled over. We stopped to watch and laugh and get on camera.
So, most of the action happened on the street. Which proves that it's just as good drinking like a hobo on the street than drinking in clubs.
So last weekend I went on a hen's night. I thought it was going to be the hen's night of torture, but it wasn't too bad. Let's recap through the wonder of bullet points.
- Started off at the Uber Bar, where the security guard told us to say hi to the DJ
- We get up there and ask for a random shot, which ended up being some blueberry something
- Say hi to DJ, and he's immediately happy it's a hen's night
- Go to the bathroom, meet up with some other hen's night and join forces
- DJ says the brides-to-be have to go find a man to dance with. Bride is too shy, so I go look for one for her, and manage to convince the best looking one there to dance with her. Points for me.
- Have another random shot, this time bartender laughs because it was basically liquid burning.
- Other hen manages to get random men to strip for her. Me and some guy steal one of the shirts, and the half naked man starts getting worried his Versace business shirt has disappeared
- Leave the Uber Bar; Bride's sister wants to go to some place called The Red Room at Martin Place so we start walking
- She sees three huge Tongan guys and yells out "Are you going to The Red Room?" They say "YES" and we follow
- Get to The Red Room and it's shit, so we leave almost immediately
- Start walking again hoping we'll randomly find somewhere to go
- Bride's sister says 'King's Cross?', I say 'Oxford Street?' and Bride goes "Taxi either way"
- Hail a taxi, where the cabbie was so obviously on coke. He made our decision for us and said "OXFORD STREET HAHAHA YAY HOPE YOU GIRLS PICK UP WOOOO"
- Get out of the cab, Bride wants to go to the Tool Shed, but first we want a drink
- Find a bottle shop, buy a few miniatures and then drink on the street
- Go up to Tool Shed where I had to explain what all the bondage gear was to them, while Bride's sister tried on gimp masks and restraint bars
- Bride goes to buy a sexy feather duster, but man behind the counter gives it to her for free
- Hungry, so we have pizza at New York Slice
- Few gay guys join us, one eats half of Bride's pizza while telling us about how he hitchhiked from Melbourne all the way to Sydney.
- They have to go, so they hug us and say "Normally Hen's nights are deadly, but you guys are gorgeous"
- Walk back down the other side of Oxford Street, where a homeless aboriginal woman started chasing us and throwing newspaper
- Bride needs to pee, we stop off in Hungry Jacks where we meet 'Vesna', a girl who is in hiding, wearing a wig and pretending to be Macadonian because "I'm going to get bashed for sleeping with too many guys". She tells us her life story, keeps asking if we can tell she's wearing a wig, nearly falls over on the way out.
- We leave, walk back to George Street, where a group of cops are being filmed by a camera crew
- About to cross the road when a car runs a red light. Lucky for him, there was that massive group of cops, so was pulled over. We stopped to watch and laugh and get on camera.
So, most of the action happened on the street. Which proves that it's just as good drinking like a hobo on the street than drinking in clubs.