#248: and burst forth with fluttering wings

[selubrationmod]

From: electricgrey

Title: and burst forth with fluttering wings
Rating: PG
Word Count: 10k
Summary: Sehun wanted to capture Luhan onto his canvas, but couldn't decide which Luhan to draw.
Warning/s: attempted makeout scene (if this is even a warning lol), mentions of baeksoo, implied broken!chanbaek, something about Sehun if you can tell what it is before you reach the end?



I don't mind your odd behavior
It's the very thing I love
If you were an ice cream flavor
You would be my favorite one
- Mindy Gledhill, All About Your Heart

Luhan’s eyes were gleaming with excitement when he made a mad dash to the bedroom, his laptop in his hand as he plopped on the bed and shoved the computer under Sehun’s nose to cover the younger’s sketchbook. Sehun didn’t even get to adjust his eyes to the brightness emanated from the screen before the laptop was abruptly pulled back from him. He blinked and blinked, searching for answer in Luhan’s bright round eyes. They contrasted the room’s dim backdrop, although Sehun reckoned it was the light from the screen reflecting back into the orbs. Not that it mattered because with or without light those eyes were pretty nonetheless.

“Banana muffin with chocolate chips!” Luhan exclaimed. “Sounds good, doesn’t it?”

Sehun didn’t have the heart to tell Luhan that he was unable to share the sentiment, not after all of those disastrous baking attempts, but he nodded anyway. Then he watched Luhan scrambled off the bed, looking for his trusty notebook where he wrote down all of his recipes. Here, Sehun found himself smiling a little. Something about Luhan using the book never failed to blow bubbles of joy inside him. The book was, after all, a gift from him. When Luhan came back, thrilled and grinning, Sehun couldn’t help himself but to pull Luhan by the waist closer to him, wanting to share the elder’s radiating happiness. In less than five minutes, two whole pages were filled with Luhan’s smooth cursive. Luhan looked satisfied, nodding to himself as he ran his eyes over the pages again.

He motioned the book and pen to Sehun, to which the latter took and casually started to draw several lines which later resembled the cake showing on the screen, all the while his long arms were still caging the elder’s smaller figure.

“Perfect,” Luhan kissed Sehun on the cheek. “Alright, let’s go buy the ingredients!”

It was already past eight, confirmed by the bottom left corner of Luhan’s laptop screen. All supermarkets were closing in an hour and a half and Sehun knew that Luhan was aware of this too but Sehun also knew that there was no helping it when he could literally feel Luhan’s bouncing energy in his arms. He kissed Luhan on the cheek before ushering the elder to get ready. Luhan jumped out of his embrace and quickly changed out of his pyjamas. His palm supported his chin as he allowed himself to listen to Luhan’s rapid chatter, although in his trance watching the elder he missed half of the words. He almost dozed off to Luhan’s voice. He used to be jealous of the voice and its power to captivate people. Now that the voice was his, he could listen to it whenever he liked. The jealousy long forgotten.

Just as Luhan was pulling a shirt over his head, Sehun imagined drawing Luhan with a pair of large white wings spreading from his back, graceful and delicate. The background would be a mix between orange and sky blue. He’d draw the clouds as if they were cotton floating around Luhan’s figure. They’d be white too, but not as white as the wings. The sun, the source of the orange and subtle yellow, would not overshadow Luhan’s beauty. And Luhan’s eyes would be closed, his mouth tilted at the corners and parted slightly as he sang anthems of love in that angelic voice of his.

But he couldn’t draw this. Something was off.

Signing the treaty as each other’s boyfriends had meant pushing the trolley on Sehun’s part and murmuring which onion is better than the other on Luhan’s. Not that it was officially agreed. Luhan had a difficulty of walking more than ten steps without halting abruptly to check out the items on the racks whereas Sehun couldn’t care less to double check out carrots before he tossed them into the trolley. So naturally they switched, and it stayed that way ever since. Plus, this meant that Luhan could stay excited at the rows of ketchups while Sehun could push the trolley and be lazy.

They picked up the ingredients according to the recipe, one by one. Occasionally, Luhan would stop to recall which brand was the one Kyungsoo used, and Sehun would wait patiently until Luhan made up his mind. Sehun made sure to take an extra carton of milk just in case Luhan broke his cup and an extra bottle of banana flavouring in case Luhan dropped the first one.

In all honesty, Sehun was tired as hell. The meeting today had sapped his energy. There was so much pressure and too little time to be stressed. He didn’t understand what the fancy people expected of him. Draw a second Mona Lisa and be the next Da Vinci? Hell, all they wanted was paintings of incomprehensible mix of clashing colours. Put in some birds or flowers and they’d call it art and then form their conclusions of the meaning behind the swirls of brush strokes.

It wasn’t like Sehun really cared. They could think of whatever and he only had to nod along to keep them from interrogating him more. Only one person had ever understood the meaning behind his pinks and blues, the subtle purples in the middle and the yellowish whites around them. What irked him was how they put money and his art next to each other, and deemed themselves art lovers.

Earlier, he was making random sketches to get his mind off the meeting. And maybe gained some inspiration for his projects too, though the four walls of the bedroom contributed almost nothing to his mind save for some random lines and curves similar to the mess in his head. Muffins definitely didn’t cross his mind at all, until Luhan came in and distracted him completely. But he figured that being supportive in Luhan’s hobby made the elder happy which in return made him happy too. So why not the little break.

Luhan had his plates full too. Playing the role as the head curator for the same exhibition as the one Sehun was participating in meant constant phone calls and emails regardless of time. Sehun didn’t really understand the nature of Luhan’s work, even after all of these years together and the lengthy explanations. All he knew that it brought frowns and scowls to the elder, sometimes threatening hisses to the phone which he assumed was directed to Luhan’s assistant. But Luhan loved his job, loved meeting new people and discovering hidden masterpieces. Never mind the sips after sips of black coffee and signs of early wrinkles, he loved what he was doing, as he had told Sehun once.

Baking was the elder’s way of taking the stress off himself, although Sehun wasn’t sure which part of the process was supposed to be therapeutic. None of the baking had ever resulted in anything edible to last Sehun more than a few bites.

“Okay, we’re left with the decoration. What do you want on top of the muffins?” asked Luhan.

Sehun peered over the elder’s shoulder, trying to see what was written in the recipe. He’d want kimchi, but even he knew that doing so would result in imbalance of the nature’s yin and yang. He was never picky with decorations. To him, as long as his taste buds weren’t damaged and his brain remained functional at the end, anything would be fine. But Luhan was asking with those sparkling deer eyes of his, how could he say he wanted kimchi with the muffins? So he pointed to a random thing behind Luhan’s back, not really paying attention to what it was.

Luhan raised an eyebrow at this. “Sehun, you don’t like almonds.”

‘Right,’ Sehun hesitated. ‘Chocolate chips?’

“I already took one,” Luhan deadpanned.

Sehun smiled sheepishly. ‘An extra packet? I like chocolate.’

||

The next morning Sehun woke up to an empty bed. A note on the nightstand told him that Luhan left early to prepare for a meeting. He pouted, falling back to bed. Not having a nine to five job like Luhan allowed him to sleep in. The temptation was real. Luhan’s side of the bed might already be cold, but his was still warm and inviting. Although now was not the right time to do so. He rubbed his temples, trying to pull his conscience to the right track. Yes, work. He needed to think of something to draw. Fast.

He already finished one a month ago. An acrylic of a traditional hanok village bathed in moonlight, drawn from his memory of visiting one back in school and well, tv documentary. The fancy people loved it. In fact, they loved it so much they wanted another one, even offering the centrepiece spot to Sehun. He’d be fine if they just wanted to use the hanok painting, but no, they just had to want another one.

“Something stronger, something more emotional.” He recalled one of them saying. Stupid, he thought to himself.

A loud shrill from the nightstand had him pulling away from his reverie. It wasn’t a phone call. He’d never choose a song this irritating even if he ever picked up one. His guess was that it was an alarm, probably telling him to move his arse and leave the bed. He never put on alarms though, since Luhan did the waking up every day.

8AM. Wake up babe, the label read.

This got him smiling.

After shower and breakfast, Sehun readied himself to leave for his studio, where he did all of his painting work at. Before he moved in with Luhan the studio was his home. He kept it after all these years to store his paintings and art supplies. With his income now he definitely could afford a better, more spacious place, but something about the place and the memories contained within it had him thinking twice. The studio had witnessed his joys and sorrows, his breakthroughs and breakdowns. It smelt strongly of paint too, something that calmed him down aside from Luhan’s scent.

He texted his assistant before he left. Going to the studio. Come keep me company.

“I assume you asked me to come over because you’re not going to do any work,” said Chanyeol half an hour later.

Sehun only shrugged.

Chanyeol sighed. “Tell me why you accept the centrepiece spot again?”

‘They insisted.’

“You could’ve said no.”

‘Luhan was excited about it.’

Chanyeol sat himself on Sehun’s old bed. “You’re such a fool for him.”

Sehun didn’t respond, because Chanyeol’s eyes were fixated on one of the paintings against the wall. Sehun never questioned what was with the painting that could draw the elder’s attention to the point that Chanyeol could keep his gaze at it for a solid ten minutes. He couldn’t recognise the emotions swimming in Chanyeol’s eyes. They looked out of place compared to Chanyeol’s usual bubbly attitude.

Chanyeol cleared his throat after a while. “Anyway, why don’t you ask Luhan? Maybe he has ideas.”

‘He’s too busy with his work.’

“Then draw me.” Chanyeol laid down on the sheets facing Sehun, propping his head with his hand and crossing his legs to add emphasise. “I’m Rose and you’re Jack. We’re not in your studio but in a majestic ship that’s fated to crash into an iceberg but that’s okay we don’t know that yet. I don’t have the Heart of Ocean but that’s okay too because I have the Heart of Gold.”

Sehun gagged.

“Hurry up Jack.”

Sehun got up from his stool anyway, and fetched a sketchbook from the desk. ‘Just a sketch okay.’

“I’m a handso- beautiful rose with or without colours.”

Sehun rolled his eyes and dragged the stool closer to where Chanyeol was mimicking the pose. The sketch was completed five minutes later, to which Chanyeol excitedly snatched from Sehun’s hands. His face, however, went crestfallen as soon as he registered the sketch. Sehun drew him alright, just not as Titanic’s Rose, but as Star Wars’ Yoda.

‘Same difference,’ Sehun gestured to the elder male.

“And for a moment I thought we’re good friends.” But he tore the page from the sketchbook, folded it, and stashed it in the back pocket of his jeans. “Come to think of it, why don’t you ever draw people?”

To reply, Sehun pointed to one of the paintings on the floor. ‘People.’

“They don’t even have faces. I reckon you’re not the eccentric type to draw aliens attending an intergalactic school.”

‘Drawing people is hard.’

Chanyeol cupped his hands around his ear in mock bewilderment. “Do you hear that? I think I just heard an excuse.”

Chanyeol’s words were ignored as Sehun thought about this situation. He’d love to draw people, he really did. His usual paintings are mostly sceneries and abstracts. He was very good too, which was why he never thought about drawing portraits as something significant to attempt. The flicks of his wrist created the most elegant arch of rainbow, just like his brush strokes could bring stiff air to life. Even if he drew people they were not the main subjects, only an addition to add character to his paintings. Maybe saying that drawing people was hard was stretching it but he didn’t deliberately make that excuse. People were difficult creatures, even if he was one himself.

Ever since he was little Sehun couldn’t associate himself with the people around him. They were just too different. Children of his age preferred to talk at the top of their lungs even to a friend just standing beside and just hollered regardless of the situation. They only minded their manners in the presence of adults before returning to their boisterous selves. Sometimes Sehun did join them in games; football, tag, hide and seek. Even so he found himself getting tired rather quick and longing for the solace of his room. Being a teenager was even more tiring. They got into cliques and accustomed themselves to this ideal teenage life that often made him ponder the significance. There was this social expectation that teenagers had to meet, and if they couldn’t an omen was allegedly rumoured to haunt them for as long as they were called teens. Trying to communicate with them was the hardest part. They never could understand him. He was more than glad to have left those phases.

Sehun had long accepted that being quiet was simply his default nature.

A few hours passed by with Sehun making simple watercolour paintings of pictures that Chanyeol googled for him. Chanyeol too picked up a brush himself and put his all into his drawings. His efforts were evident, without a doubt Sehun gave him an A for that, but the result couldn’t live up to his determination. They moved from sloths to stags, and from penguins to puppies. Chanyeol insisted on drawing a phoenix but messed up in the middle so it looked like a baby dragon. They laughed over this, and before they knew it noon had arrived.

And much to Sehun’s delight, so did Luhan.

Luhan came over during his lunch break, bringing with him takeaways for three. “Figured you two would be here,” explained him as he shuffled to pantry for plates.

Chanyeol beamed. “Luhan you’re a gem!”

“You sure?” Luhan chuckled while passing chopsticks to the other two. “That’s not what I heard from Sehun.”

“He must be drunk when he said that. Ignore him.”

Chanyeol excused himself as soon as he finished his lunch, saying that he had no choice but to do so if he didn’t want to die young from being cursed for polluting love in the air. Sehun kicked the door close after bidding him goodbye before turning to Luhan, an obvious grin donning his face.

‘Thank you for coming.’

Luhan grinned back. “You don’t have to thank me, but you’re welcome anyway.”

Luhan then moved to wind his arms around Sehun’s waist, to which the latter responded with resting his hands lightly on the elder’s hips and lips against lips. They kissed softly, just appreciating each other’s presence. Luhan sighed into the kiss prompting Sehun to pull away, a concerned look on his face as he studied Luhan.

‘Rough day?’

“I already want to go home,” sighed Luhan as he pulled Sehun by the neck for more kissing. Their lips met in a fierce kiss, slowly sending desire to every part of their body. Luhan had his hand curled in Sehun’s hair to bring down the younger to his level as he gasped and moaned into the kiss.

They ended up on the bed, shirts forgotten on the floor and limbs tangled as they continued their session. Sehun knew Luhan had about half an hour left before he had to go back to work, but he just couldn’t bring himself to stop when Luhan was like this. Mutual sloppy kisses were exchanged just as relentless curiousity led the hands. Luhan parted his mouth as he moaned and Sehun swallowed the sounds and invited himself in. Their tongues clashed in heated kisses, encouraged by hunger and pure need.

Sehun pushed his hips roughly against Luhan, feeling like he was about to lose his self-restraint. A sharp intake of breath from Luhan only encouraged him to let his hand wandered itself on his lover’s smooth skin, travelling south to where the attention was craved the most. It took everything in him to not allow himself to fall for the seduction that was Luhan, who was writhing beneath him, pleasured by his touches.

While Luhan was leaving wet kisses down his jaw he thought about drawing this Luhan. This pretty, needy Luhan. His alabaster skin would look ravishing against the white sheets. The beads of sweat on his forehead and bare chest would be coloured just subtly, little dots of a lighter skin shade. The flush of his cheeks was true to the cherry-coloured lips, wet from kisses, and bitten at the bottom. The glazed eyes would be so inviting, and if Sehun added some loose tears to them it’d be more than enough to fuel anyone’s lust.
But as Luhan whimpered Sehun’s name in his ears he knew he couldn’t draw this too. This view would only be for his eyes to love and relish.

After Luhan left with a promise to continue later tonight, Sehun just lost the willpower to get up. He lied down on the bed, limbs sprawled on the bed as he tried to regain control over his staggering breaths. That lover of his was a major distraction even without excitements over muffin recipes. He rolled to his left side to face what would be Luhan’s side of the bed back in home. If he imagined hard enough, he could see Luhan. This Luhan didn’t have to rush to work, this Luhan would say why wait tonight if they could do it now, this Luhan would be begging for his touches, and this Luhan would take his mind off his responsibilities. But this Luhan could only do those, while that Luhan could do everything.

He reached for his discarded shirt, put it back on, and fixed his jeans. Looking around the mess in the studio, he decided to fuck it and go home. He’d come back again tomorrow and clean up the place. The mess would just have to wait until then.

--

Luhan fought to keep his eyes open, nudging Sehun’s chin lightly with his head. “You’re spacing out. What’s up?”

Sehun shook his head, only pulling Luhan closer to him. The contact of their bare skin had him soundlessly sighing. Something about the intimacy had him feeling calmer.

“Not telling?”

The younger shook his head harder.

“Such a baby,” Luhan chuckled. “Let me say it for you. It’s about the centrepiece, isn’t it?” When Sehun gave no reply, Luhan persisted, “Don’t you have something in mind? Anything at all?”

The artist released his arms from around his lover to pull himself up and leant against the headboard. Luhan followed this and treaded their fingers together. Sehun looked at their linked hands for a while before looking up to meet Luhan’s concerned eyes. ‘I do, but I’m not sure yet.’

They went quiet for a while. The blanket was loose around their waists while their hands were still locked with each other. Sehun wondered what was running through Luhan’s mind. Was he thinking of a way to help, or was he accompanying Sehun in silence while restraining himself from falling asleep? Sehun would love to pretend he wasn’t having this issue, and while at that maybe seduced Luhan into another round of love-making.

The answer turned out to be the former when Luhan suddenly broke the silence with glee in his voice. “Let’s go for a picnic!”

‘Now?’

“No, silly! This weekend, just you and I.”

Sehun’s face must’ve been so confused that Luhan was prompted to elaborate. “It’ll be fun! We can bring kimbap and sandwiches and pasta and eat under a tree and just enjoy the view. Get the stress out of our heads. Maybe get you some inspiration too?”

Sehun weighed the idea for a good five second. He agreed, but just for the sake of nothing he decided to tease. ‘Is this your indirect way of asking me out for a date?’

“Funny.” Luhan rolled his eyes. “We go out on dates all the time.”

‘Supermarket trips don’t count.”

“Of course they do!” The fire in Luhan’s eyes amused Sehun. He added a smirk just to irk Luhan even more. It worked. Luhan pinched his cheek to emphasise the degree of his anger. “Everytime we go out together it’s a date okay. Don’t forget that or I’ll personally drill that into your pretty head.”

‘So I’m pretty?’

“I swear to god-“

Sehun shut him up with a quick peck on the lips, which for some reason infuriated Luhan even more. Sehun only found this adorable. ‘You’re beautiful.’

“If you want to kiss me, you kiss me properly, you douche,” retorted Luhan, but Sehun knew he only said that to distract Sehun from noticing the red seeping into the tips of his ears.

Sehun pulled away. His teasing hadn’t quite ended yet. ‘Alright, I don’t know how to kiss.’ This time he put in his winning puppy eyes. This was sure to be a checkmate. ‘Teach me?’

He saw how Luhan was holding himself back, torn between maintaining his stance and giving in to his carnal desires. Sleep was long forgotten by now. Sehun decided some provoking would help his lover made up his mind, so quietly he slipped a hand under the blanket and placed it on Luhan’s thigh. It was almost innocent-he didn’t go any higher than that-but of course it was anything but. Luhan’s breath evidently hitched, and it barely took a few seconds for Luhan to throw away any efforts to retaliate in exchange of straddling and attacking him with feverish lip locks. Instinctively, Sehun rested his hands on the elder’s hips, caressing the soft skin and smiling into the kiss.

Seducing mission a complete success.

||

How many times had he yawned while driving, he had no idea. Last night he stayed up late keeping Luhan company while the elder went on another baking bout. Egg tarts, this time. Sehun had to resist every temptation to tell Luhan that they already had enough food to last them for a week worth of picnic. He didn’t have to stay up too, but seeing as how Luhan was bouncing around too much he felt compelled to worry about the elder’s safety. Hence why he settled himself in the kitchen before Luhan tossed him an apron to help too.

Beside him, Luhan was sleeping, head lolled to his left, allowing Sehun to see long lashes resting on the fair skin. Soft snores were heard in the car instead of the usual radio playing. Because they went to bed late last night-kitchen was a mess, nothing new-the elder ended up forgoing sleep despite Sehun’s protests. “If we both sleep then no one would wake up in time tomorrow,” he had said. “You’re driving so don’t worry about me.” Sehun relented with a promise to himself to take the farther route to the picnic spot so Luhan could sleep longer.

A change of scenery told Sehun that they had arrived. He made a quick turn to look for a parking spot. After he expertly parked the car, he turned to his right, where Luhan was still in his deep slumber. The sky outside was bright and he was already itching to stretch his cramped legs and inhale fresh air. Luhan was right. This was a good idea. But they couldn’t enjoy the day if they stay cooped in the car. Biting his bottom lip and leaning in closer with guilt, he tried to gently shake Luhan awake.

“Ha!”

The shock had Sehun backed away instantly while Luhan clutched to his stomach, laughing to his heart’s content.

“Sorry, sorry, oh god that was good.” Luhan wiped a stray tear from the corner of his eye. “Did I scare you? Sorry Sehunnie.”

After a good few minutes in the car wasting time enjoying the feel of Luhan’s kisses all over his face in attempt to coax him out of his faux sulking, they went out of the car and picked up their food. They carried the picnic basket and blanket into the park, where they finally found a big, shady tree to settle down. There was no colourful flowers in the scenery, just a vast field and far on the end a rows of trees that marked the entrance to a forest. The grass swayed in the direction of the wind like tiny elves dancing to nursery rhymes. The sun was peeking from behind the clouds, bright but not blinding.

They took out the food and very soon began to enjoy each other’s company as they munched on homemade kimbap. Although they spent time together every day, it was mostly inside the walls of their home. Hardly outside under the sky spreading its beauty. Sehun reckoned this was an excellent idea after all. He made a mental note to thank Luhan afterwards. Sitting opposite to him, Luhan was telling him stories of his assistant’s, Baekhyun, frequent mishaps that had him asking himself many times why he hadn’t requested to have his assistant changed yet.

‘Because you fancy him,’ was Sehun’s casual reply.

Luhan scowled but didn’t deny it. “Okay, maybe. But only because he’s too kind! Who knew what kind of danger he’d be in if he didn’t work with me.”

‘Number one; he’s an adult man. Number two; he has a degree. Number three; he has a boyfriend,’ Sehun challenged him back.

“But Kyungsoo works a different line than he does. And have you seen Kyungsoo with his workers because I swear they all listen to him because his stares burn legit holes-“

‘Not because he’s a talented patisserie from Paris, as how you’d call him when you need his help?’

“That, too… but that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say is, if Baekhyun works with Kyungsoo he’d die in less than a week.” Luhan munched his biscuit loudly to emphasise his point.

Sehun raised his brows. ‘Which is why you can’t let Baekhyun go.’

“Which is why I can’t let Baekhyun go.” The biscuit snapped audibly in Luhan’s mouth.

Just like that, the conversation moved to another. From work to the neighbours’ pets to the new ice cream parlour downtown. Eventually they stopped eating and talking, finding comfort in each other’s warmth. Sehun leant against the tree bark with his arms embracing Luhan while Luhan sat snugly in between the former’s leg, his back against the former’s hard chest. They spent the first hour reading together the book Luhan had brought with him. After finishing a chapter, Sehun excused himself to retrieve his sketchbook from the car.

The walk alone pulled him into thinking again. All fun aside, he still couldn’t conjure a solid image to be turned into a painting worthy of the centrepiece spot. None of his previous visions were fitting enough. As much as he wanted to fuck it and draw whatever, he too had a reputation to maintain. Moreover, Luhan worked so hard for this. No way he could let his lover’s efforts went down in vain. This situation had him reconsidering his plan. It wasn’t too late to abort it, he had told no soul about making Luhan the subject of his painting. He could just go back to drawing his regulars.

This park was beautiful indeed. Luhan was right to suggest picnicking. It did help to clear his mind a bit even just for a while. Unlike beaches, the colours here didn’t clash. The green, blue, grey, brown, and yellow stayed at their places. Of course he’d love to see the edges of the colours diffused to incorporate themselves with the neighbouring shades. But this stillness was what he needed at the moment. Even so, if he had to be honest, nothing here piqued his interest enough to give him the urge to pick up a brush and draw before the scenery left his mind. Worry came over him when he weighed the reason behind this was because he was already too set on drawing Luhan.

Something paused Sehun in his tracks as their picnic spot came into his view. Luhan had taken over his place leaning against the tree bark. His reading glasses was static on the bridge of his nose, but his eyes were moving left to right as he absorbed the words from the pages. Sehun smiled fondly at Luhan who was too engrossed in the book that he failed to see Sehun approaching.

Sehun thought that this image was pretty too. A man losing himself in a book, alone in under a tree on this vast green of a park. Beside him sat a slice of half-eaten cake. Chocolate, Luhan’s favourite. The dessert was forgotten in exchange of the book in his hand. And some fallen leaves around him and on the blanket he was sitting on. The blanket would be coloured in the classic red and white checkered pattern. The yellow of the sunlight was casted on the tree, so the lower leaves were of a darker green than the upper ones. Some flowers would look good too. The world was moving on its leisure pace, except for Luhan was one with his book.

This seemed fine. Only something else was missing.

Noticing that Luhan had yet to see him coming, Sehun took a longer route round the back of the tree. A mischievous grin made its way up to his face as he tip toed closer. Once he reached the other side of the tree undetected by Luhan, he slowly leaned in closer. With a last grin he sharply blew a puff of air into the elder’s ear.

Luhan, startled, tossed his book into the air while letting out a not-so-manly shriek followed by a string of cuss words in Mandarin that only came out when he was terribly pissed off. Sehun couldn’t care less however, as he toppled down on the blanket, clutching to his stomach as he silently laughed at his lover.

Gnawing at his lower lip in annoyance, Luhan slapped Sehun’s thigh with a loud smack. “Not funny dumbass.” He picked up his book that had landed, fortunately, next to his plate of Bolognese. “If this book falls into the pasta I’ll fucking make you buy me a new copy.”

Sehun rubbed the tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. ‘I’d buy you ten copies if I have to.’

“Ha ha ha.”

‘You can’t be mad. This is a payback for the car earlier.’

Luhan glared from behind his glasses. “Fine. Now come back and let me lean on you.”

Sehun shuffled to his previous position, making himself comfortable before Luhan crawled in. He used Luhan’s head to balance his sketchbook while Luhan returned to his book. Not after whining that he lost his page, though. Sehun tore a piece of paper from his book and put it on the page Luhan was on to. As an afterthought, he took it back, drew a heart, and with a wink to a sceptical-looking Luhan he put it back. Luhan murmured am ‘eww’ under his breath but used the paper to mark his page anyway.

Sehun drew nothing from the scenery in front of his eyes. Instead, he drew all the food on their blanket. The half-eaten kimbab, Luhan’s pasta, abandoned egg tarts, and orange juice. He did this while thinking about Luhan again. How nice it would be if he could get this man home and do something else instead of drawing things that wouldn’t fit his purpose. But a reading Luhan was also an emotional Luhan, he’d rather not ruin this occasional moments where Luhan allowed him to be close while the elder was engrossed in his book. Luhan loved the peace. Sehun only felt this silence was mocking his idleness.

He didn’t tell Chanyeol this in their conversation before. It’d sound ridiculous for an artist like him who had done many exhibitions and had his paintings sold for hefty prices to announce that he never drew real people because he was insecure to do so. How he longed so badly to blame this on his incapability to fathom people in general. Sure, just drawing them was fine, but to interpret the emotions into an aesthetic was beyond him.

Somehow Luhan caught on his mood. The elder carefully moved away from his embrace and turned to face him. “Are you tired? Do you want to go home?”

“Can we?”

Luhan nodded. “Sure, let’s pack up.”

Sehun was grateful that Luhan didn’t press the matter further. Did he really looked troubled to the point that Luhan noticed, he thought to himself. The car ride was silent. Luhan offered to drive instead, but Sehun refused. He needed his hands to do something. Anything to chase away this growing misery.

“It didn’t work,” said Luhan later that night.

He only stared at the elder, puzzled.

Luhan sighed. “The picnic. It didn’t help you get any inspirations, did it?” Another sigh. Longer. “I was just trying to help…”

Luhan was looking away, a pained expression on his face. Sehun had to tug his sleeve several times to win his attention. To his dismay, Luhan couldn’t look at him. Even showing Luhan his sketches couldn’t get the man to get over it.

When Luhan finally cracked a smile it was a half-hearted one. “Sehun, I think, you should, just, say no to them. Say you don’t want to do it. I’ll find another artwork to put up.”

‘You can’t do that, you only have three weeks left. There isn’t enough time.’

“But I don’t like seeing you this stressed, this miserable. You don’t show it to me, but I know. Your sketches,” Luhan pointed an accusing finger to Sehun’s opened book, “they’re not even close to what you usually do when you have this kind of big project. Those are just your usual messing around.”

Sehun frowned. The need to be defensive coursed through his fingertips. ‘No they’re not. They’re not my messing around.’

“Yes they are!” Luhan raised his voice without a warning, surprising Sehun. “You’re not being serious with this! Do you even have the slightest idea how this would affect my career? Everyone knows about our relationship, if you can’t do your job properly, I’d get a bad name too!”

On reflex, Sehun got up. ‘You only care about your work.’ Then he grabbed his car keys, made a beeline for the door, and slammed it shut. His lover was left frozen in the living room.

||

What time it was now, he had no idea. The clock on the wall had stopped working long ago, and in his haste leaving the house last night he had forgotten his phone. When he arrived at the studio, he only managed to lock the door and kicked his shoes off before letting himself fall on the bed. Luhan’s word kept ringing in his head, accompanying him even in his sleep. He didn’t know what to feel. Upset, because Luhan had indirectly insulted him? Shocked, because suddenly they were fighting? Disappointed, because he thought Luhan understood him?

Slowly, he rose from the bed. He flicked the lamp switch, letting light washed the space. Deciding to abandon washing up, he picked up a fresh canvas. He secured it on the easel and thought of all the things he could have drawn on it but had pushed aside in favour of embedding Luhan’s image instead.
With a brush in his hand, he tried to focus.

Focus.

The fancy people wanted something tear-jerking, but he didn’t have to necessarily follow them. This was his Luhan that he wanted to draw, not theirs. He could decide what emotions he wanted to project. He had seen so many Luhan for the past three years. Some which he had found shocking, though loveable nonetheless, regardless of the degree of headaches he had endured. So which one to draw?

Not giving a deeper thought, Sehun dipped the brush in dark blue, softened the shade with water, and let it danced on its own on the canvas. After a while, he realised that it resembled closely to the couch they have back home. Feeling a lot more fired up, he started to add in more colours and objects, until he had a watercolour duplicate of his living room.

Then he paused. What was he brain trying to tell him? That the scene last night really had taken a toll on him to the point that the he needed to get it out? He put the brush down, and the canvas was moved to a pile of canvases that would soon be disposed.

He fell back on the bed. Now he was dying to know the time. Morning must’ve passed because his stomach started to protest against the absence of breakfast. He rolled to his side, pressing a pillow to his face. He was close to falling asleep again when he heard the unmistakable rattle of the doorknob. He sat up, suddenly anxious of the unexpected visitor. Only Chanyeol had the spare key, but could it be-

The door opened with a sudden force, revealing a tall male. Definitely not Luhan.

Sehun pulled the blanket over his face, falling back to bed.

“Wow, rude,” Chanyeol scoffed. “Get up, I bring food.”

At the mention of food, Sehun promptly got up. Before Chanyeol had finished making coffee, Sehun was already half way through his sandwich. Chanyeol made a disgusted face but pushed his share of sandwich to the younger.

“I bring your clothes too. I have a question though, please enlighten me. Who the fuck is so stupid to leave his phone and wallet when he decides to storm off at night?”

Sehun stole a glance at an extra bag by the door. Then he looked back at Chanyeol with questions in his eyes.

“Luhan called me. Told me you’re at the studio and to come over to pick up your stuff,” Chanyeol shrugged. “He looked horrible.”

Sehun avoided the elder’s piercing stare.

“So, a fight huh?” Chanyeol didn’t push, but Sehun heard the unsaid question loud and clear.

Sehun put down his sandwich, feeling his appetite gone at the thought of last night. ‘I don’t know what it’s about.’ Not a lie. He really couldn’t pinpoint the reason.

“Luhan didn’t tell me anything, in case you’re wondering.”

‘Then I won’t say anything too.’

Chanyeol groaned something about stubborn airheads as Sehun sipped on his coffee. Too bitter. He liked his cup sweet. No one could really make a cup decent for his taste buds like Luhan did. He wondered to himself if Luhan was doing fine at work.

“Finish your food,” said Chanyeol, kinder this time.

‘Have you ever been in love?’ asked Sehun out of the blue.

Chanyeol was taken aback as he processed the question. “And you wish to know because…?”

Sehun shrugged, not wanting to appear too curious about it. As he expected, Chanyeol’s eyes automatically went to the painting. Sehun had never thought of the painting as anything special. Just something he painted back when he was a student, when his art was the only friend he had. What could Chanyeol possibly saw in it was what he really wanted to know.

When their eyes met again, Chanyeol said with a low voice, “I guess I was.”

‘That painting, you can take it.’

“Wouldn’t do me any good if I take it.”

The rest of their breakfast went by with nothing being said anymore. Before Chanyeol left he reminded Sehun of the three weeks he had left before the exhibition date.

After he showered, he picked up a new canvas. Opting for acrylic this time, he painted a scene from his childhood. It was one that he relished too, though the memory was hazy. When he was a child, there was a bakery opposite to his school that he often frequented. The delicious cream bread they sold was an extra point, but he mostly went there because a girl, probably a decade older than he was, was very nice to him and never insisted on making him speak. Now the bakery was there no more, and he had no idea what happened to the girl.

He finished the painting way after midnight. His fingers and shirt, probably his face too, was smeared in streaks of paint. This wasn’t Luhan, but this would do. Grabbing his phone, he took a picture of it and sent it to the man. Luhan was probably sleeping by now, but he’d see the text tomorrow. Now that this was done, they didn’t have to fight anymore.

Unexpectedly, a response from Luhan came a minute later. Are you coming home?

Sehun didn’t waste any more minute to leave.

Luhan was waiting for him in the living room. His face lit up before he crashed himself into Sehun’s chest. “I-I’m sorry,” he stammered. Sehun realised he was crying. “I didn’t mean what I said. Fuck what I said. Fuck my job. You matter more.”

With Luhan hugging him so tightly, Sehun was rendered incapable to reply. Luhan knew this, and went on. “I didn’t mean to insult your drawings. They’re amazing, all of them, no matter what you draw, I love them all. I love you too.” The last part came out as a whisper, but loud or not the meaning remained the same.

||

Luhan liked the painting. Liked it even more after Sehun recounted the memory to him, even though Sehun definitely didn’t miss the spite in Luhan’s voice when the elder asked him about the bakery girl. He was surprised that Sehun was able to finish a painting in less than a day. Sehun decided it was best not to mention how he didn’t give much thought when he was doing it. Now that it was done, he was free to bring it to the fancy people whenever he wanted to before the exhibition. They would like it, he knew. He just had to emphasise on the girl when he explained the painting, and let them do the rest on the interpretation as they preferred to. Innocence. First love. Whatever they felt like labelling it. He put it away after cleaning up the mess from the night before. Safe from potential damage and out of his sight. The painting was good, but it wasn’t Luhan. He had to draw Luhan, even if it never would make its appearance to the public.
Again, he instinctively chose water colours.

Heaving a deep breath, he dipped the brush into the dark blue again, diluted the pigment with water, and started to paint the outline of his living room. He changed brushes, changed colours, and soon the painting resembled closely to his previously discarded canvas, only this time the living room was painted from a different view. It was as if how he looked at it every day, his view of part of the living room from his seat on the couch next to Luhan’s. Luhan sat beside him, the door and furnitures in the background.

Gulping nervously this time as he slowly came to realisation of what he was drawing, he let his brush moved to the image in his hand. It got more vivid as he devoted time and patience into making it as real as possible. Sehun had no idea how much time had passed, maybe it was almost late in the evening when he saw a half-done painting of his Luhan in their living room sitting in front of him.

A surge of happiness washed over him. He was overwhelmed by the feeling to touch it-to touch this Luhan-but retracted his hand at the last minute remembering that the colours on the canvas had yet to dry completely.

His phone let out a short ring, taking him away from his trance. Waiting for him was a text from Luhan telling him to come home for dinner. Sehun bit back a smile, returning his gaze to the painting. He had no idea how this would turn out. Whether it’d end up in the studio or really took the centrepiece spot in the exhibition. He sincerely hoped for the latter, though no high hopes were put. This excitement had to stay in the studio for the night.

He sent a quick reply to Luhan, who replied shortly after, telling him that Baekhyun and Kyungsoo were coming over for dinner, even doing the cooking too. Sehun wondered what the occasion was. Usually it was Luhan and him going over for meals, definitely not the other way around. But he didn’t mind. He hadn’t seen the pair for long. Though he longed for Luhan’s sole attention that night, it was fine this way too. Seeing Luhan enjoying himself might help him embedding the elder’s features on his canvas tomorrow.

Once he arrived, Luhan immediately dragged him to the kitchen, where Baekhyun and Kyungsoo were busy chopping vegetables and stirring what he guessed was soup. He only managed to wave a hello before he was dragged again to upstairs into their bedroom, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo laughing at him in the background.

“You’re late, Sehun! Hurry up and shower. I’ve taken out your clothes.”

Luhan was about to leave the room when he tugged the elder’s arm and spun him around. Their lips met in a clumsy kiss. When he pulled away, he deliberately gave a little pout.

“Sorry, I got too excited,” Luhan chuckled, embarrassed. His other arm wrapped itself around Sehun’s middle. “Welcome home, love.”

They kissed again, sloppily. With the excitement from the studio that seemed to follow him home Sehun was more than tempted to bring the elder into shower with him. However with guests downstairs, he figured that wouldn’t be appropriate. Luhan was the one to pull away first, a smile on his beautiful face as he patted Sehun’s cheeks lovingly and left the room.

Dinner was fun. Not to mention delicious. Both Luhan and he were decent cooks alright, but Baekhyun and Kyungsoo cooking made them feel as if they were dining five star restaurant cuisine in the comfort of their own dining room. There was always the communication barrier between him and the pair, but Sehun never minded it. They were kind enough to not push him into every conversation, but never really left him out too. Occasionally Luhan would squeeze his hand, perhaps to comfort him though it was unnecessary. After a few times he just took the elder’s hand and didn’t let it go for the rest of the dinner.

The occasion that Sehun had thought of earlier was revealed after they were all settled in the living room, two plates of freshly ordered fried chicken on the table. Baekhyun, one hand tight in Kyungsoo’s, nervously announced that they were getting married by the end of year. Sehun choked on his drumstick, while next to him Luhan just squealed. Sehun didn’t know why was he so surprised- he had a foresight of this happening. He noticed the subtle shy glances the pair had shared during dinner. The air around them was just different tonight, as if they had a big bubble contained within just waiting to be popped. Now that it was, Sehun saw imaginary confetti all over the floor. Luhan probably did too, from the way he was so excited about their friends.

Later that night, Luhan cuddled closer to him, mouthing sleepy words onto the skin near his collarbone. “I’m so happy for them.” Sehun felt Luhan’s lips curved into smile before it dissolved as the latter fell asleep.

Careful not to disturb his lover’s sleep, Sehun gently ran his fingers through Luhan’s soft hair. Would the time come for them to advance into another part of their relationship too, he asked himself. What was so different between how they were now with how they’d be if they were to get married anyway, he asked again. Sehun fell asleep while waiting for the answers to come.

||

Chanyeol literally took a few steps back when Sehun revealed to him the completed painting. “Holy goose, you made this?”

Sehun nodded, grinning.

“You cow, you said you can’t draw people!” Chanyeol exclaimed as he stepped closer, leaning forward to examine the drawing better. “This is- this is just beautiful.” He turned to look at the said man. “You really made this? You, Oh Sehun, who rather draw elephants than humans just made this? In two freaking days?”
Another nod.

“Fuck, we need to get you a shaman. You’re possessed.”

Funny. Sometimes Sehun did ask himself which spirit had possessed him into hiring Chanyeol as his assistant.

“This is just so not you!”

‘Is that a compliment or…?’

“Fuck right it is! Sehun, this is brilliant!”

‘That’s good. I was worried if it seemed to one-sided.’

Chanyeol straightened himself, jerking his head to the painting. “You’re wrong, then. That hand is yours, I’m guessing? Gross. Possessive even in a painting.”

Sehun threw a cheeky gaze to the said painting. While he was finishing the drawing he had figured out the thing that was bothering him. The painting was close to finish when he decided to draw a hand reaching out to Luhan’s. His hand. Luhan was sitting on his seat, facing Sehun’s side of the couch, and their fingers were intertwined. He drew Luhan in his casual clothes at home, with his faithful reading glasses. Luhan’s other hand was holding an opened book.

It was a rather simple painting. But it was enough for him. There were so many Luhan to draw, and he came to a conclusion every Luhan was the right one to draw. But this one was the one he specifically chose to paint. Even so, as stated by Chanyeol he was indeed possessive, hence the intertwined fingers. So this was the only one he was willing to let people see. The rest he’d keep.

“Let’s submit this for the centrepiece artwork.”

Sehun sharply directed his attention back to Chanyeol. His hands were frozen at his side, unable to move.

“What’s the point of drawing something this beautiful but not showing it to the public?” Chanyeol pressed. “I’ll arrange everything, Sehun. Leave it to me.”

In Sehun’s hesitation, Chanyeol had snapped a photo of the painting and grabbed his jacket, ready to go. Quickly gathering himself back, Sehun held Chanyeol’s elbow just as the elder was about to leave. Chanyeol looked at him, confused. But his eyes softened as soon as he registered the doubt in Sehun’s own eyes.

“I won’t do anything you don’t like. Besides, if you’re worrying over someone falling in love with Luhan when they see that,” the male cocked his head towards the painting again, “don’t be. You made sure everyone knows he’s yours.”

Sehun flushed at Chanyeol’s words as he released his grip, letting Chanyeol leave the studio. What was going to happen after this, he was too nervous to know.

The next few days was spent fretting over anticipation. Luhan had to pull Sehun aside, just to ask what has happening because according to Luhan he fidgeted around too much. His phone hardly ever left his sight. He dismissed the worry from Luhan by pulling the elder into a long hug, trying to make it look like he was comforting the man when actually he was forcing himself to calm the fuck down.

When Chanyeol finally came to see him, it felt as if a big bomb just dropped on his head. Apparently Chanyeol had managed to make arrangements with the fancy people for the painting of Luhan to be put up as the centrepiece. Sehun would’ve let it slide if not for the sudden mischievous look that appeared on the elder’s smile. Chanyeol told him then that they’d be two paintings of his as the centrepieces, both the bakery and Luhan. Hearing this, Sehun’s jaw slacked. Chanyeol then proceeded, telling him that Luhan only knew about the bakery. And it’d stay that way, until the day of the exhibition.

Shit, Sehun echoed in his head, Luhan doesn’t know about this. He wasn’t exactly against the idea, heck, he wanted to have Luhan as the centrepiece since the very beginning. But now that this was happening, his head started to spin. The fact that this was coming true made him nauseous and dizzy.

The day of the exhibition came a week later. Luhan left earlier, clad in crisp suit and smelling of ocean air. He made sure to pepper Sehun with kisses before he left, assuring the younger that everything was going well and that he had done an incredible job and all that was left was to enjoy the night. Sehun only nodded, hoping Luhan wouldn’t notice his jitters.

He left with Chanyeol an hour later. He kept drumming his thigh, not along to the radio, but to the rapid beating of his heartbeats. Chanyeol tried to comfort him with weird jokes, but Sehun just couldn’t keep himself still. What if Luhan got mad at him? What if Luhan disliked the painting?

“He loves everything you do. Now shut up and let me concentrate on the road.”

Once they reached the venue, Sehun mulled over taking a cab to go home while Chanyeol handled the night in his place. That couldn’t happen when Chanyeol was quick to catch up on his thoughts, pushing him to the entrance. Luhan came into view, sneaking a playful wink at him before going back to his professional demeanour. They greeted and were greeted, and soon Sehun felt relaxed again, momentarily forgetting his worry. His oil painting of hanok village received many praises.

While they were moving from one artwork to another, Sehun felt Chanyeol suddenly paralyzed next to him. He followed Chanyeol’s line of sight, and to his surprise, the elder male had his eyes trained on Baekhyun, who Sehun noted was looking tensed next to Luhan. He nudged Chanyeol, raising an eyebrow when he caught the latter’s attention.

Chanyeol looked away instantly, clearing his throat in an awkward manner. “The guy next to Luhan. Is he… is he Luhan’s assistant?”

Sehun nodded, bewilderment still etched on his face. ‘Byun Baekhyun. He’s getting married to his fiancé this winter,’ he added.

“That’s good. He deserves the best.”

A flash of the painting back in his studio came to his mind but he mentioned nothing about it. He also didn’t press on how forced Chanyeol’s smile was.

This was forgotten as soon as he realised that they were being directed to the main wall where the centrepiece was hung. Luhan was making brief introduction, in that fluid honeyed voice of his, as the others were nodding along to it. Sehun felt like fainting when the black curtain covering the canvas was dropped, revealing none other than the Luhan he painted two weeks back. People started to whisper among themselves, while Luhan was there, panicked and dumbfounded. Thankfully, the director of the exhibition took charge, politely asking Sehun to step forward and explain this particular artwork of his. Nervous as he was, Sehun stepped up, Chanyeol trailing behind him. He avoided Luhan’s questioning stare, and with a nod to Chanyeol, he began.

His hands moved, and Chanyeol’s voice mirrored his gestures.

‘This is a painting of Luhan, the head curator of this exhibition, also my lover of two years. For the past one month after I was given the honour of having this centrepiece spot, I’ve been ransacking my brain, looking for the perfect thing to draw. I’ve always wanted to imprint Luhan on my canvas. But I never felt confident enough to draw people. Being born this way, incapable of speech, I never relate myself to people around me. They are them, and I am me. However, Luhan came into my life, and showed me all the wonders I’ve been missing.’

He paused, giving a moment to everyone and himself, before letting his gaze to rest on the stunned Luhan.
‘I’ve been wanting to draw you for as long as I can remember, love, and show you all the wonders you have given me. I love you, always and forever.’

Sehun put his hands down after he was finished, as Chanyeol’s deep voice interpreted the last of his gestures. He kept his eyes locked with Luhan’s, who was starting to tear up. The crowd applauded and cheered, although that registered faintly in his ears. He only saw Luhan darting in his direction, crashing into his arms. Tears soaked his shirt, but that didn’t matter.

Sehun expected sweet words from Luhan when he pulled away, definitely not groans.

“Why do you do this?”

‘I want to draw you.’

“Oh saints, I feel like a teenager,” groaned Luhan again. He met his eyes with Sehun, adding, “You’re giving me butterflies and that is not cute at all! I’m twenty-seven for heaven’s sake!”

‘Does it feel good to be young?’ Sehun teased.

“I’ll murder you when we get home.”

Sehun smiled, leaning down to tilt his face, pressing a loving kiss to Luhan’s lips.

||

Three years ago;

It was on a bright afternoon when Sehun brought himself to the nearby park for a change of scenery instead of the usual bustle of the campus. His lunch was left untouched beside him as he dragged his pencil across the page of his sketchbook, drawing outlines of the fountain in front. Too immersed in his sketching, Sehun had missed the presence behind him. A simple ‘you draw beautifully’ greeting from a stranger over his shoulder sent him scrambling forward, wide-eyed and pale from the shock.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Sehun quickly stood up as the stranger straightened himself. Something about him put Sehun on the edge, as if the time and trees just stopped moving and Sehun was in trouble for doing something he didn’t even know he did. The fact that the stranger’s face was stoic and slightly frowning didn’t make Sehun feel any better.
The stranger cleared his throat a second later. “I think we start off on the wrong foot. Let me fix this,” said him as held out a hand, gesturing for Sehun to take it. The frown from earlier disappeared. “My name’s Luhan. I think you’re quite an interesting fellow. May I know your name?”

Then the stranger-Luhan-smiled. And it was nothing like Sehun had ever seen before.

As if all colours came to life and converged themselves into Luhan’s smiling face.
Suddenly everything around them moved again, too quick that to Sehun they seemed blurred. The greens from the trees and grass, the blue from the sky, and the pops of other colours mingled together, in an attempt to reach out for him and stop him from falling but it was already too late. He was sure that he was still standing on his feet, although his knees felt weak and his head started to spin from the unexpected rush. His firm clutch on his sketchbook loosened, he swore he had never felt this way before-where were these flutters coming from anyway-but all he wished at the moment was to draw the face of this beautiful, beautiful Luhan.

Author’s Note: Virtual cookies and hugs to the mods who have helped a lot. Also much thanks and loves for the cute prompt I hope I've done an equally cute job too ;))